How do *you* know when to hang in there and work through the problems--or to let go? (love, family)
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I left an online community recently, after trying very hard for about two months to work things out. Finally, I couldn't deal any longer with the cliquishness, favoritism on the part of the owner especially, and inconsistencies. This is an online poetry group that was supposed to be all about peace, love, and artistic freedom; but it became more like Animal Farm. As in "We are all equal, but some of us are more equal than the others."
When I left the group, I felt free, liberated, happy. Now, one week later, I am feeling some sadness and false guilt, even though I did the right thing. By freeing myself, I freed them to be themselves. You can't control what other people do or think. You can only control yourself. Who knows? Maybe I'm just starting to feel the loss. I learned and gave a lot in that group, as a participant and a moderator, until I could no longer rationalize or justify the dysfunctions.
Friendship, romance, family members, groups...
How do *you* decide whether to stay and work it out--or to let go?
When you get enough.
When you start feeling uncomfortable. Sounds like you did the right thing.
Thank you so much, yankeegirl. Needed a little reality check there. I have had it with this group. I can deal with the emotional fallout in the aftermath.
I leave at the first sign of serious trouble. Life is too short for that kind of nonsense. Try to work it out...if it gets ridiculous, forget it.
Relationships are work (to foster and maintain health and goodness and respect), but not like that. If your happiness to sadness ratio is less than 99:1%, ditch the relationship.
I thought the thread would refer to real life relationships.
Far as online, if I felt strongly enough, usually I would just return fire until banned. There are some boards that I trully can't stand. (CD is NOT one.) They'll eventually turn on themselves and find another board with good people to terrorize.
I thought the thread would refer to real life relationships.
Far as online, if I felt strongly enough, usually I would just return fire until banned. There are some boards that I trully can't stand. (CD is NOT one.) They'll eventually turn on themselves and find another board with good people to terrorize.
In my life, the relationships I have with people in real-time and online are worthy of the same respect. Imo, ditching someone or a group online bears the same consequences. So, I put a lot of effort and thought into the group, especially as a moderator.
The feelings of loss are real.
Last edited by Nala8; 08-02-2009 at 11:43 AM..
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