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So....how much ARE Divorces these days???
I want one,realllllllllly bad!
I have 4 kids,one grown & gone,the youngest is 2 & Special Needs. I have been home taking care of him,so haven't been working,or I'd be LONG gone. I simply can NOT take it anymore. I HAVE to get myself & my children OUT. No clue HOW.
I have been SO darn depressed,that all my plans of going back to school so I can educate myself,get a good job,seem SO out of reach. My husband is a ....well, I can't post that here. He is lazy, vulgar, and sometimes downright MEAN to his family. No,he hasn't physically hurt the kids,or he'd be in jail,or dead. Or castrated. He blows money on things we don't need,ignores the childrens needs in the process. NO amount of talking helps,he just ignores me. I swear his screaming/yelling has contributed to my hearing loss I never had 'till I met him.
He is just LAZY,white trash,to put it bluntly.I was NOT raised this way, my father is a man I truly respect, and I simply can NOT accept the way he is. I wish I had realized it before I married him,but hindsight is always 20/20! I just need to get OUT of this situation,but no clue where to begin. I seriously contemplate ending my life every day,I am so hopeless. Only thing stopping me is the thought of leaving HIM w/ my 3 beautiful children. I really love his mom,but if I bring up anything he says or does,she changes the subject,or make an excuse to hang up.
I just can NOT find a JOB, no one is hiring,anywhere around here! I have begged & pleaded & threated him to LEAVE,but he refuses.He just sits and stares at that TV, ignores me,refuses to acknowledge that anything is wrong. I don't want to burden my parents as my dad has just retired a few years ago,and my mom & her husband will be soon.
I don't want to resort to welfare. I am also really afraid to leave my son,who has cerebral palsy ,w/ a stranger in daycare,as he needs therapy several times a week. My 6 year old son is getting WAY out of control,showing the bad temper that his dad displays. The last straw was tonight when he told me where Daddy was hiding his "Woman movies" (porn).
I have a 14 year old daughter from a previous marriage,who had a collapsed lung on April 1st. It wasn't until many weeks later I found out he was SMOKING with her. Again, he just ignored my rage,acted as if nothing ever happened.
Seriously,I think I am losing my mind. Any help would truly be appriciated.
I think you're in an abusive situation and so are your kids, mental abuse is worse than being hit IMO
Do you have a domestic violence agency near you, someplace you can call to see what your options are in your area?
I have no idea if he can be forced to leave the house from what you've said..that's why I'd call a professional (maybe a lawyer even) just to get an opinion...you need to know all your options before you can make a decision really.
I'm sorry you're in this predicament and it's hard when there are kids and it's not just you to consider. I wish you stenght to hold on and something will turn up, try calling around, maybe someone else here can help more than me, I just wanted to respond and let you know it's not as hopeless as you think.
Oh,forgot to add that last weekend when I told him to take it easy on the kids,he told me "I think you need to go get laid" then told me that no one would want to XXXX me. That was another wake up call.
that's just mindcontrol to make you think you can't live without him ( or be loved by anyone else)...to eat at your selfconfidence...it's showing his own worries really...
don't listen to what he says if you can help it; this man's distructive. You need to get out for the kids, if not for you, your 6 year old is already showing behavior that he gets from the relationship you're in, kids repeat and imitate what they see, even if they don't understand it
So....how much ARE Divorces these days???
I want one,realllllllllly bad!
I have 4 kids,one grown & gone,the youngest is 2 & Special Needs. I have been home taking care of him,so haven't been working,or I'd be LONG gone. I simply can NOT take it anymore. I HAVE to get myself & my children OUT. No clue HOW.
I have been SO darn depressed,that all my plans of going back to school so I can educate myself,get a good job,seem SO out of reach. My husband is a ....well, I can't post that here. He is lazy, vulgar, and sometimes downright MEAN to his family. No,he hasn't physically hurt the kids,or he'd be in jail,or dead. Or castrated. He blows money on things we don't need,ignores the childrens needs in the process. NO amount of talking helps,he just ignores me. I swear his screaming/yelling has contributed to my hearing loss I never had 'till I met him.
He is just LAZY,white trash,to put it bluntly.I was NOT raised this way, my father is a man I truly respect, and I simply can NOT accept the way he is. I wish I had realized it before I married him,but hindsight is always 20/20! I just need to get OUT of this situation,but no clue where to begin. I seriously contemplate ending my life every day,I am so hopeless. Only thing stopping me is the thought of leaving HIM w/ my 3 beautiful children. I really love his mom,but if I bring up anything he says or does,she changes the subject,or make an excuse to hang up.
I just can NOT find a JOB, no one is hiring,anywhere around here! I have begged & pleaded & threated him to LEAVE,but he refuses.He just sits and stares at that TV, ignores me,refuses to acknowledge that anything is wrong. I don't want to burden my parents as my dad has just retired a few years ago,and my mom & her husband will be soon.
I don't want to resort to welfare. I am also really afraid to leave my son,who has cerebral palsy ,w/ a stranger in daycare,as he needs therapy several times a week. My 6 year old son is getting WAY out of control,showing the bad temper that his dad displays. The last straw was tonight when he told me where Daddy was hiding his "Woman movies" (porn).
I have a 14 year old daughter from a previous marriage,who had a collapsed lung on April 1st. It wasn't until many weeks later I found out he was SMOKING with her. Again, he just ignored my rage,acted as if nothing ever happened.
Seriously,I think I am losing my mind. Any help would truly be appriciated.
The description of your husband sounds like a man who checked out of your relationship already. It's a longshot but I would advise councelling. The guy sounds like a loser but perhaps his behavior is a symptom of deeper problems you guys have. I'm sure he had to have some redeeming qualities for you to marry him. If nothing else maybe counseling can help rid yourself of the contempt you have for him and allow for a healthier separation for your kids.
The description of your husband sounds like a man who checked out of your relationship already. It's a longshot but I would advise councelling. The guy sounds like a loser but perhaps his behavior is a symptom of deeper problems you guys have. I'm sure he had to have some redeeming qualities for you to marry him. If nothing else maybe counseling can help rid yourself of the contempt you have for him and allow for a healthier separation for your kids.
I agree with Burb. I have a sister in a similar situation, and when it comes to getting custody and child support, showing you made an effort (IE counseling) will look very good should you decide to go through with the divorce. Don't leave him until you have a plan, money set aside, and the right mentality. My sister has repeatedly left her husband, but he always talks her into coming back to him ("You're nothing without me", "No one else wants you"), but had she had a game plan BEFORE she left, maybe she would have actually had the guts to stay away.
Get out for you kids sake. You can handle it, but the more they see of it, the more they are likely to continue in your husbands footsteps.
I wish I could help! If you lived by me I'd offer my house to you in a second!
You say you don't want to resort to welfare, but this isn't about you, it's about creating a healthy homelife for your kids. I suggest you set aside your pride and get in touch with support agencies in your area. I think your husband offering your daughter cigarettes, his on-going screaming and yelling, his withholding money that's needed for the kids, porn in the hands of a six-year-old, are issues that social services would consider detrimental to your children's well-being. You need to step up and do what's best for them. If you don't know where to start, talk to your family doctor. Good luck to you.
You say you don't want to resort to welfare, but this isn't about you, it's about creating a healthy homelife for your kids. I suggest you set aside your pride and get in touch with support agencies in your area. I think your husband offering your daughter cigarettes, his on-going screaming and yelling, his withholding money that's needed for the kids, porn in the hands of a six-year-old, are issues that social services would consider detrimental to your children's well-being. You need to step up and do what's best for them. If you don't know where to start, talk to your family doctor. Good luck to you.
I agree with this whole-heartedly. This is no time to be concerned with pride. This situation is a major risk to your children. I can't imagine how turning to public assistance is more humiliating than what you are living with right now.
Having a special needs child will get you assistance; TANF, food stamps, Medicaid and SSI. There are other organizations you can go to for food. I've put ads on Cragislist asking for help for a friend who was ill and could not work for clothing donations. I realize this is not the ideal situation, but there is a lot more help out there than most people think. You should take advantage of every bit of it.
There are also domestic violence organizations that offer free counseling to victims AND their abusers, if they want it. They have food pantries and they even assist with Christmas gifts. If you need help with this, feel free to DM me.
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