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Inspired by a couple of recent threads. One person wants a *simple* life, (whatever that means for him/her - less bills, less "stuff", less toys, simple job), the other is driven. In the end the driven one gets upset and bitter.
Personally, I applaud those who are honest with themselves. They've realized that they don't want to follow the the usual arc of aggregation and spending, instead concentrating on simpler and (probably) more valuable notions.
I applaud those who are able to get from under the pressure of the ambitious partners. Either the ambitious partners were not willing to see verbal/nonverbal signs of their partners' disinterest, or were blinded by their own assumptions that everyone must follow the same path in life?
isn't finding out that your SO has different goals in life something one should find out before the relationship? Even in the flirting/initial dating stage?
It just seems strange to me that two people in a relationship find out they have different priorities in life when they've been together for years.
I mean, I must be a contradiction then, because I love the simple life but I'm also extremely ambitious.
I live out in the country.. I love sitting around reading Hemmingway, sippin' salty drinks, and walkin' around in my shorts and flip-flops.. I've never wanted much: I have a small house, a beat-up old jeep, and I tend to do my own gardining..
But, on the contrary, when it comes to business and personal growth, I can't stop. I've owned and ran many small businesses, from website design back in the day of hard coding to writing to small business consulting. I make good money, and am able to afford to splurge - if I so desired. I usually give my extra money to charity, and throw back a bit for savings..
So, I guess it depends on what your definition of "the simple life" and "ambition" is. In relationships, I want someone who is as ambitious as I am but at the same time is completly down to earth.
One can be ambitious without having to walk all over people to get to where they want to be; similarly, one can lead the simple life without having to resort to the very basics..
hmmm yeah it can work. there have to be couples out there who make it work you know? i am goal oriented, like traveling, going out, always want to better myself, etc. i was seeing an aspiring actor who did few things here and there. i find it really scary not knowing if you will have a job each week and know what you are doing. most of the time when i would talk to him he was just at home doing nothing. that really irked me because he rarely went out doing anything. i was thinking he could get an on call job, volunteer, and just do something to be a contributing member of society. great guy, but he needed someone who was more accepting of his lifestyle. i wasnt. i need someone more like me in the career and personal growth sense.
In my mind the majority of ambitious people are driven by materialism, money, sex, and have yet to determine what they really want in life. Embracing Americanism and its "Dream" to the fullest, always wanting more...and when they finally reach their goal the bar keeps going higher because once you obtain something you realize that it isnt enough. Greed, pride, love of money, and confusion are all qualities I think of when I hear ambition. There are good ambitious people like medical researchers looking for cures for cancer because it killed their mom, for example, however, these people are not the norm and are very rare.
People who are ambitious are not motivated to dedicate their life and free time to someone else because they are always in that mode of bettering oneself to achieve the unobtainable. Everything else in life will be secondary including but not limited to their significant other, children, religion, family, pets, their own health, and finding their own true purpose in life. To truly see how corrupt the ideals of an ambitious person really are, just ask them basic questions as to their motivations behind their driven lifestyle and see for yourself.
In my mind the majority of ambitious people are driven by materialism, money, sex, and have yet to determine what they really want in life. Embracing Americanism and its "Dream" to the fullest, always wanting more...and when they finally reach their goal the bar keeps going higher because once you obtain something you realize that it isnt enough. Greed, pride, love of money, and confusion are all qualities I think of when I hear ambition. There are good ambitious people like medical researchers looking for cures for cancer because it killed their mom, for example, however, these people are not the norm and are very rare.
People who are ambitious are not motivated to dedicate their life and free time to someone else because they are always in that mode of bettering oneself to achieve the unobtainable. Everything else in life will be secondary including but not limited to their significant other, children, religion, family, pets, their own health, and finding their own true purpose in life. To truly see how corrupt the ideals of an ambitious person really are, just ask them basic questions as to their motivations behind their driven lifestyle and see for yourself.
yeah i could somehow see that people can see ambitious people as materialistic people. i am very ambitious and while i dont have expensive things (i drove a 1995 chrysler before it broke down and use my parents' car right now when i can), i really take pride that i have a lot for someone my age in my savings and give 10% of my income to a certain animal charity. when i do spend money, its on traveling expenses but not like 4 star hotels. i stay at 1 star hotels and hostels regularly. unfortunately traveling is expensive and i do it whenever i can! my next trip is a 2 week road trip in 2 weeks with a friend. after that i have montreal and quebec city planned, and if i can somehow budget for it, savannah, charleston, and st., augustine!
yeah i could somehow see that people can see ambitious people as materialistic people. i am very ambitious and while i dont have expensive things (i drove a 1995 chrysler before it broke down and use my parents' car right now when i can), i really take pride that i have a lot for someone my age in my savings and give 10% of my income to a certain animal charity. when i do spend money, its on traveling expenses but not like 4 star hotels. i stay at 1 star hotels and hostels regularly. unfortunately traveling is expensive and i do it whenever i can! my next trip is a 2 week road trip in 2 weeks with a friend. after that i have montreal and quebec city planned, and if i can somehow budget for it, savannah, charleston, and st., augustine!
You sound motivated to succeed in your job & have fun, not ambitious. Ambition is more synonomous with literally stepping over dead bodies to reach your goals. Traveling when you can afford it, donating to charity, and living within your means doesnt sound ambitious at all. It sounds like you have your head on fairly straight for the most part.
You sound motivated to succeed in your job & have fun, not ambitious. Ambition is more synonomous with literally stepping over dead bodies to reach your goals. Traveling when you can afford it, donating to charity, and living within your means doesnt sound ambitious at all. It sounds like you have your head on fairly straight for the most part.
oh i dont think stepping over dead bodies to reach goals makes someone ambitious. i just mean i feel you need to network ,talk to certain people, get friendly with those you know can help you, and do whatever you can to get the things you want that would make you happy. i think i am a go getter. i contacted this guy who is a big shot in my field in california. if you become friends with him, you pretty much had an in any my field in california and a few states (he has had influences in other states after inventing something that many schools use in california that spread out east). anyway, i knew by getting friendly with him i would be able to get letters of recommendation and a possible job through his department.
oh i dont think stepping over dead bodies to reach goals makes someone ambitious. i just mean i feel you need to network ,talk to certain people, get friendly with those you know can help you, and do whatever you can to get the things you want that would make you happy. i think i am a go getter. i contacted this guy who is a big shot in my field in california. if you become friends with him, you pretty much had an in any my field in california and a few states (he has had influences in other states after inventing something that many schools use in california that spread out east). anyway, i knew by getting friendly with him i would be able to get letters of recommendation and a possible job through his department.
There is nothing wrong with what you're doing. To me you sound motivated and like you enjoy having a job. Nothing wrong with that picture. My definition of ambition is more extreme than yours, although I have seen varying levels of it. I think ambition becomes a problem when you start visibly lowering other areas of your life to reach career goals for pride or monetary gain.
There is nothing wrong with what you're doing. To me you sound motivated and like you enjoy having a job. Nothing wrong with that picture. My definition of ambition is more extreme than yours, although I have seen varying levels of it. I think ambition becomes a problem when you start visibly lowering other areas of your life to reach career goals for pride or monetary gain.
oh i see. yeah i never really saw a difference between being ambitious and motivated.
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