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I think she'll realize down the road she made a mistake and i told her that.
Man, been there, done that, got the t-shirt.. and it isn't fun. It takes awhile to get over things..
But, I wanna point somethin' out to ya real quick.
Look at what you said: "I really haven't done much of anything but think and think."
Look at that for just a second.. Do you really think that's helping things out any?
The longer you just sit and think about things, the worse things will get. You'll just keep going over everything in your mind, trying to figure something out that has no answers.. You're letting yourself become consumed with this, and it's tearing you apart.. I know how it feels.. I remember one time that I thought I was completely in love, and then she left me hanging out to dry. I was sitting at the end of my bed, NYC song was playing (beaver brown band, from an old movie - Eddie and the Cruisers.. a lot of things in that movie was like my old life, in a way)...
Anyway, I was sitting there listening to that song thinking about what I did wrong and man, I just felt like there was an inferno going on inside me. All I wanted to do was to smash something, or hide - whichever happened first. But then I realized that none of that was doing me any good. The more I thought about her, the angrier I got, and the more depressed I got.. I hated it.. I felt like I was close to the edge.. So I went out for a walk - and then started running, and kept running. Hell, I dunno why I did that, it just felt right at the time. But I forced myself to keep going.. I thought about nothing but running, everything else just drifted away.. Next thing I knew, the sun was rising.
So that day, I didn't return to my house. I walked everywhere I went - I went to the pavilion, then to the mall, then the park, then.. I just kept going. That night, I slept like a baby. The next day, I did the same thing. I went to work, and then just went places. I kept doing that, and by keeping myself busy, my anger and depression started going away. During that time, I forced myself to say hi to everyone I passed. Just being around people and seeing their surprise that a stranger would stop and say hey helped me more than anything..
Bottom line is this: Once you stop thinking and start living, everything you're feeling will dissipate. It'll take a little time, but man, you won't feel like this forever.
As far as finding a good chick, bro, you really need someone who respects you for you, and isn't going to play all these silly childish games. I can pretty much guarantee that she'll realize her mistake, but that's not going to change who she is. Personally, I'd hate to be with someone who didn't accept me completely.. My friend, you are way better off without her.
yes she is adopted......"bio family" meaning biological family. You're right though- even minor things that I asked her to do she wouldnt do or would say "we will" and never did it. Like when I asked her to get all the pics from our 3 vacations developed so I can put them in my photo album- I literally asked her for months and she never did it. Also she would ask for massages- I gave her at least 10 and never once did she return the favor.
You're the one that did all the work in the relationship. You drove 2-1/2 hours each way to be with her. You were on standby letting her be with her friends while you got whatever time in her week was left over. She owes you massages. You bought her an engagement ring... and all she had to do was look beautiful, and you were satisfied with her being your future wife.
Instead, find a woman that appreciates you and puts as much into the relationship as you do. And you will find that it's a much more satisfying relationship experience. I'm so glad that you didn't sell your house at a loss to move to her area. I think that your ex is really good at being a user and a taker. She only gives just enough back to get what she wants. And she does know how beautiful she is, and sadly once she gets old and loses her youthful good looks, she's not going to be a happy person to be with.
You won't get as much as you paid for it but, whatever you get, go and splurge on something for YOURSELF - a couple of good massages for a start? DON'T leave it hanging around in a drawer somewhere!
I am sorry to hear things did not work out...her loss. You appear to be a great guy with alot to offer someone who is out there waiting for her shining knight to come along.
You're the one that did all the work in the relationship. You drove 2-1/2 hours each way to be with her. You were on standby letting her be with her friends while you got whatever time in her week was left over. She owes you massages. You bought her an engagement ring... and all she had to do was look beautiful, and you were satisfied with her being your future wife.
Instead, find a woman that appreciates you and puts as much into the relationship as you do. And you will find that it's a much more satisfying relationship experience. I'm so glad that you didn't sell your house at a loss to move to her area. I think that your ex is really good at being a user and a taker. She only gives just enough back to get what she wants. And she does know how beautiful she is, and sadly once she gets old and loses her youthful good looks, she's not going to be a happy person to be with.
BTW how nice an engagement ring did you buy her?
Well I drove 1 1/2 hours each way to see her and if I had to work on weekends would sometimes do this drive 3 days a week but always at least twice a week. As for me being on "standby"- yes during the week she was so busy with her socializing with this friend or that friend, getting her hair or nails done, tanning, shopping, playing with her dogs or hanging out with her parents we hardly talked at all. I would just get text msg updates. After 9 when it was free for us to talk she use to call and we'd talk for a long time and later we barely even talked after 9 cuz she was always doing something or another. I'm so glad I didnt sell my house also because if the market was normal it probably would have been sold and I'd be commuting an extra 3 hours a day right now! Yes she seems to be a taker- she uses her words to get me to fall for her but they were just words. Even 3 days before she dumped me she was texting me how "i have her forever". The engagement ring was very nice and big. I got the 2nd biggest diamond in the store and I'm not talking about a store in the mall. I picked it out though so its not like she ever asked for it. I wanted to get one that she would love to show off cuz I figured it would make me look better.
I am sorry to hear things did not work out...her loss. You appear to be a great guy with alot to offer someone who is out there waiting for her shining knight to come along.
You won't get as much as you paid for it but, whatever you get, go and splurge on something for YOURSELF - a couple of good massages for a start? DON'T leave it hanging around in a drawer somewhere!
I paid a lot for it so I'm not going to take a huge hit and pawn it so I'm just going to keep it and if I ever get engaged again I'll have a great ring to give.
I paid a lot for it so I'm not going to take a huge hit and pawn it so I'm just going to keep it and if I ever get engaged again I'll have a great ring to give.
DUDE, get a clue!!! NO woman wants an engagement ring that USED to belong to your fiance'!!! SELL THE RING.
DUDE, get a clue!!! NO woman wants an engagement ring that USED to belong to your fiance'!!! SELL THE RING.
its a ring...its not like its a car. IAnd how would they ever know it was given to someone previously? They wont unless I told them
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You appear to be a great guy with alot to offer someone who is out there waiting for her shining knight to come along. 
