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If you aren't looking, you'll give out a vibe as such. I'm of the theory that fate sets you up, **** fate. You want something, pursue it and don't give up the idea. Don't capitulate and become laissez-faire with life. And if you fall seven times, stand up eight.
i am sure most of you have heard it and i probably have too, but something in her voice and the details she gave me made it matter more. i told her how i have made an effort into being social to date and meet a guy this summer and how it just didnt get me anywhere. i said im exhausted from it, and how at times it can be expensive. i told her after that night at the lounge with my friends that im giving up the effort aspect of meeting someone. she was older than me maybe in her late 20s/early 30s (i am not good with figuring out peoples' ages) and she told me to never stop making an effort. she said that dating should be fun, but yeah, a lot of times it isnt. she then said think about this that for every 25 dates (or whatever number she gave) you might go one that never go beyond a first or 2nd, on your 26th you might meet someone that you really end up liking. she then added (this is the part that really made it clear to me) that when you meet that 26th, it all makes it worth the struggles of going through the first 25 dates.
even if i end up tossing out her advice in the long run, she gave me her card and said she would love to hear from me again and meet up sometime. her card reads "attorney at law" so at least if i need legal advice i can go to her lol.
Yep. And you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, too.
Here's the thing, Naomi. If the dating thing is exhausting, then you should look at it differently. Start thinking in terms of quality, not quantity. What's more, you should take a look at those unexpected guys who don't fit your profile 100%, but are really worthwhile.
For a while, I dated basically the same type of woman over and over again. Finally, I got tired of it and took a sabbatical. And before I got back to dating, I thought about what all those women had in common, and then vowed to not date a woman like that again.
Bingo. I met my wife a few weeks later. She was nothing like the women I had customarily dated. We were married 10 months after meeting.
all the guys i have dated never graduated from college. i used to say that it wasnt important if i dated a grad or not, but since my pattern has been so bad with those that didnt graduate, im starting to think to only date those that have. im not talking about getting an aa or as either. im talking about doing the college thing and graduating from a 4 year univ.
thanks for the feedback. like many things, there are different views here (go out and get what you want, dont look for a relationship, do volunteer work-which i have and it rarely attracts single straight men under 40), but all of it was good to hear!
oh i dont typically go to bars or lounges. in fact, i dont enjoy them all that much but once in awhile i go with friends. i dont even drink anymore. i just get club soda.
There are plenty of degreed LOSERS out there! I don't think the experience of going to a university teaches someone to be an ideal mate so I think your focus is unfounded, however, I wish you luck!
I dont know about that "if you stop looking it will find you" business. I've been single and not looking for the last 14 years and I'm still single.
True, but if you are a guy, it's far less likely a woman is going to approach you. If you are a girl it's somewhat more likely a guy would approach you even if you are just sitting somewhere. But you have to appear open to it.
I remember being at the airport and a few seats down from me was a guy and this girl got of the airplane and sat down at this row of benches and just started talking to the guy (they didn't know each other) and they talked for quite awhile. Even though she said hi to me first as she approached the seats, I didn't really say much at that time.
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Originally Posted by Jason28
As far as the attorney business she's going to encourage you to get married then shortly after divorced because she wants to represent you in court. Business, nothing personal of course.
If someone tells you that, I think what they're really trying to say is, "You come across as desperate. Don't do that." That'd just be a rude thing to say to a person, so they water it down.
on women approaching men, is it desperate if a woman offers to buy a guy a drink? i always thought that would be cool to do, but my female friends said that is desperate.
on women approaching men, is it desperate if a woman offers to buy a guy a drink? i always thought that would be cool to do, but my female friends said that is desperate.
Its not desperate at all. Ive had a few women buy me drinks and was flattered everytime. We ended up having some really good conversation as well.
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I don't think the experience of going to a university teaches someone to be an ideal mate so I think your focus is unfounded, however, I wish you luck! 
