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I only think they are realistic if you are too desperate, carrying a vibe that is chasing men off - and are sticking to this "must list" not being very open and willing to make concessions to what you seek.
I do not have a dreaded, boorish toilet paper roll list of "you must, you must, you must." Some do have a long, drawn-out list of strict "musts," Moderator cut: Edited quoted text, which cuts your dating pool immensely. Whereas I make concessions and evaluate each on their own merit.
Looking back, I've like my limited dating pool just fine. I've had a couple of decent long term relationships and at my ripe old age, I don't feel that I've been a floozy either. I can't imagine a situation of liking 1-in-4 men that I've met enough to want to date them... with an attitude like that, how would I decide which guy was my one special Mr. Right? Having pickier standards just helps weed out the mediocre guys.
I could accept your thinking that my deal breaker list is too long if I had chronic problems finding a good boyfriend, but since I don't have that problem (and never have), I think that my list (for me) "just right".
Last edited by bmwguydc; 08-14-2009 at 10:39 PM..
Reason: Edited quoted text
Looking back, I've like my limited dating pool just fine. I've had a couple of decent long term relationships and at my ripe old age, I don't feel that I've been a floozy either. I can't imagine a situation of liking 1-in-4 men that I've met enough to want to date them... with an attitude like that, how would I decide which guy was my one special Mr. Right? Having pickier standards just helps weed out the mediocre guys.
I could accept your thinking that my deal breaker list is too long if I had chronic problems finding a good boyfriend, but since I don't have that problem (and never have), I think that my list (for me) "just right".
Why go into any dating situation with "measuring up" someone of being "Mr Right?" Dating is supposed to be fun and the not so perfect ones are practice for the eventual right one. You barely scratch the surface of a person in the first date and through dating one explores their own self. It's all about attitude. But that's the difference between women like me and women like you. It's all it's your character and attitude. . that is what makes you either datable - or not.
It's already been established in other threads by you that you deem "mediocre" as being the middle class - which automatically wipes out around 9 out of 10 men. . . being that the middle class is the majority of Americans.
Why go into any dating situation with "measuring up" someone of being "Mr Right?" Dating is supposed to be fun and the not so perfect ones are practice for the eventual right one. You barely scratch the surface of a person in the first date and through dating one explores their own self. It's all about attitude. But that's the difference between women like me and women like you. It's all it's your character and attitude. . that is what makes you either datable - or not.
It's already been established in other threads by you that you deem "mediocre" as being the middle class - which automatically wipes out around 9 out of 10 men. . . being that the middle class is the majority of Americans.
Fine, you can be the fun and easy girl to date, and I have no problems with having a reputation for being very hard to date. And the few men that I am willing to date should consider themselves very special to be picked. After all, I have no interest in romantically dating tons of men. I don't even want to kiss a lot of different men, let alone have them grope me at the end of the night. Sex to me is a very special and intimate act for the one I love. As to just having fun times, that's what my platonic friends are for.
I know that my boyfriend considers himself very lucky to have caught the wily and elusive miu.
There are millions of single men in the US. If I weed out 9 out of 10 of them as non-dateable for me, that still leaves me with a huge dating pool to consider.
I've been surprised by feeling the same way, miu. Three years ago I left a relationship of 4 years. I thought I would date up a storm afterwards, but I actually found that I am quite picky. Having partially satisfying relationships has helped me develop a compass I didn't have before. I'll date 2-3 guys at a time. I do not kiss or get intimate with more than one steady dude. If a guy gets cut for lack of compatibility I try to find another but I'm very picky and will not just go out with any-ol-guy. So, if it takes a while to find another that's OK. Once I find the guy it clicks with, I step away from the others. But, it's still fun, Jeepgirl118! It's just focused fun just like a great class! You're actively evaluating how well you click and what their baggage is and if you want a year or two of it while you're dancing and sharing and going on adventures. You hash out the good and bad afterwards and begin to see who's crap is tolerable and who's crap isn't. I think if you have a short list or long list of qualities you need in a mate it's ok as long as you're dating consciously.
she gave me her card and said she would love to hear from me again and meet up sometime. her card reads "attorney at law" so at least if i need legal advice i can go to her lol.
Seriously -- You should call her, continue to act vulnerable, make a date and wear something sexy for her. I'm sure she will show you a good time. You only live once.
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