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Old 08-14-2009, 09:25 PM
 
6 posts, read 188,724 times
Reputation: 25

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if your significant other was not very good? Since I have been home for summer, roughly 4 months, we have had sex about 8 times I would say. I, however, personally have pleasured him roughly I would say 40-50 times since then, and have maybe been pleasured 3 times at most. It never really bothered me before, but it's really starting to get to me. I think he feels he is not very good at doing things relating to it, so whenever we have the opportunity to, he comes up with an excuse and I end up doing him. It's really starting to bother me, and I'm not sure how much longer I can last in a long term relationship without also getting some benefits. Would you stay in a relationship like this? I know it's not everything, and in all other ways he treats me perfect, but this aspect of the relationship is really starting to get me.
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Old 08-14-2009, 09:27 PM
 
Location: Just south of Denver since 1989
11,626 posts, read 32,348,101 times
Reputation: 8436
time to have a chat - pick a nonsexual place and a relaxed time...
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Old 08-14-2009, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,583 posts, read 19,532,869 times
Reputation: 18817
You really need to discuss this with him in a serious but non-confrontational manner. If all else is good then you should be able to work this out. No?
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Old 08-14-2009, 09:43 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
1,570 posts, read 5,736,015 times
Reputation: 1401
Talk, Talk & talk. I agree, it's time for a chat. Be positive - use all the good, happy words, "Honey I love you. Would you do something for me? ----- It will be fun!" etc. You know him best and you know how to approch him. Be sure it's not a complaint - no beefs or gripes! Sex should be fun. But it's hard to know how to have fun if you don't know how to play. Help him out - teach him the game! Then, .........play ball!
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Old 08-14-2009, 09:47 PM
 
11,867 posts, read 16,093,017 times
Reputation: 20061
Since you have been home for summer? That implies some kind of absence. Hmmm. Talk to him and be prepared for the possibility that things have changed.
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Old 08-14-2009, 10:14 PM
 
52 posts, read 132,408 times
Reputation: 44
Yup, time to talk. Do not get emotional or show vulnerability while talking. He might make another excuse and get his way this time around too. If he doesn't feel confident, suggest some solutions.
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Old 08-15-2009, 12:14 AM
 
436 posts, read 1,123,267 times
Reputation: 334
What if he doesnt like it? I mean he doesnt enjoy doing what you want him to do? Not everyone is into it you know. So What then? Will you break up with him?
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:17 AM
 
15,117 posts, read 12,929,668 times
Reputation: 10401
Let him know its his turn again.

And I beleive sex is a very important part in staying together. If he isn't trying, I would be very upset. But I would tell him I love whatever it is I love him to do, and expect him to do it at least every week. i would also tell him that its a problem and that i am not happy. But do it in a nonaccussatory way. Simply inform him what you like and leave it at that. if he doesnt get it, then it will have to be that you tell him straight up. But don't make him feel bad, just let him know your limits.
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Old 08-15-2009, 07:14 AM
 
Location: Tampa baby!!
3,256 posts, read 8,547,151 times
Reputation: 1847
I'd seriously consider whether or not you'd be happy if it was like this long
term?
The beginning of a relationship is a great indicator of what the rest will be like. He should be trying to undress you whenever he gets turned on, not saying, aww baby can you just do me...this time. Again!!

Oh please !!
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Old 08-15-2009, 07:32 AM
 
Location: Tampa baby!!
3,256 posts, read 8,547,151 times
Reputation: 1847
I just have to add- in my experience, guys don't do that to girls they are planning to see long term..unless they are just very selfish lovers. And who would want that?
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