"Im old enough to be your mother" (man, younger, family)
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And while I know it's not the same for men, men don't also have the biological limitations that most women face as they get older. That's just a fact, certain exceptions notwithstanding.
Errr,then what's the deal with all those ads on TV????
Women who say that usually have low self esteem...pursue and let them know how beautiful they really are.
Reality has nothing to do with self esteem. It seems to me some people are out of touch with reality. However, Denny is free to get any woman 20+ years older than he is with a bunch of kids, preferably by different dudes, as far as I'm concerned. I can only wish him good luck as he'd need it.
I didn't say anything to Ladywithafan when she came back to post about the end of the fun with her boy toy after being so enthusiastic about it some time ago because it was gonna sound like "I told you so," but that's what generally happens... She’s a beautiful and still very young-looking woman, so looks don’t even have anything to do with it. People just are in different stages of life and on different pages in it.
Reality has nothing to do with self esteem. It seems to me some people are out of touch with reality. However, Denny is free to get any woman 20+ years older than he is with a bunch of kids, preferably by different dudes, as far as I'm concerned. I can only wish him good luck as he'd need it.
Another thought is... why do you feel the need to date any single woman that you click with? Why can't you consider the concept of just becoming good platonic friends with her?
If you are indeed intrigued by the idea of dating an older woman, I still suggest becoming platonic friends with several of them first. And who knows, maybe one of them will have a daughter that is close to your age, single and as interesting and cool as she is as a person.
I can consider becoming friends with them. That is an option, but what if it turns into more. Usually friendships between men and women either turn into "more" or they disappear when one of the two finds a mate because they dont wanna make their new man/woman jealous. Although, I would have no problem with any female i am with if she had male friends.
Anyway, how do you become "platonic" friends with an older woman? As soon as I would try to ask her to have coffee with me or do something, she would assume it is because I am trying to date her, not be friends w/ her.
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Originally Posted by SandyCo
Sierra, I can't rep you for this post, but it's brilliant. Everything you've outlined here is precisely why I wouldn't take a young man's interest seriously - in addition to the ickiness of said person being closer to my kids' ages.
And while I know it's not the same for men, men don't also have the biological limitations that most women face as they get older. That's just a fact, certain exceptions notwithstanding.
I am not sure i get that part of the post. please explain.
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Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Everyone's looks fade so this argument doesn't hold water. If the OP got involved with someone the same age as him, there's no guarantee how she will age. I've seen couples where both people were the same age, but the woman aged faster. If you truly accept someone, you'll accept that certain things about them will inevitably change.
Well said, Denny. That argument is silly. Any woman I am with, if I am with her long enough, I am going to see her age because it is a fact of life and I can accept that wrinkles will come.
I can consider becoming friends with them. That is an option, but what if it turns into more. Usually friendships between men and women either turn into "more" or they disappear when one of the two finds a mate because they dont wanna make their new man/woman jealous. Although, I would have no problem with any female i am with if she had male friends.
Some of my best friends have been with men. And I've never had a problem with keeping my platonic male friends even when I was in a romantic relationship with another man. My boyfriends know that they can trust me. Maybe it's because by nature, I've always been a tomboy type so my platonic male friends are based on common interests and activities and not just on our personalities "clicking".
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Anyway, how do you become "platonic" friends with an older woman? As soon as I would try to ask her to have coffee with me or do something, she would assume it is because I am trying to date her, not be friends w/ her.
Well as you sit there getting to know her for the first time, you find out what else she likes to do with her free time. You find out what her passions are and hopefully, they will be ones that interest you too. See if there is anything she likes to do but hasn't been able to find another friend to keep her company doing it. Don't just sit there chatting her up with small talk and trying to make her laugh. Use your time wisely to get to really know her as a person. See if she likes sports, what kind of music she listens too, if she has pets. Maybe she bikes, goes running or likes to hike. If you are attracted to her, then she's probably active about keeping in good shape, and she has more interests than raising her children.
And the first attempts at getting together should be in a daytime public setting. And don't be too intense about your romantic interest in her.
My boyfriend and I got along really well as friends in the beginning because we both loved and owned similar cars. We liked taking long road trips, liked nerdy geeky stuff and our dogs. We love the same kinds of ethnic foods. And he loves the same kind of music that I do, from the '80's. Anyway, we were just so comfortable in each other's company and we also laughed all the time, that it seemed very natural to become a romantic couple. And our family and friends think us a very well matched couple. His guy friends are impressed that I'm into cars and autocross, and that I support his motorsport activities.
It also helped that we had and still have no desire to have children in our lives.
And I do make an effort to stay healthy and well preserved. I live an active lifestyle, I don't smoke cigarettes and I stay out of the sun. Being Asian helps me stay youthful looking.
So far, I've been with my current boyfriend for six years and we are very happy together. Who knows if we will be a couple in 20 years, but I will have no regrets. I am a very independent woman by nature. I've never minded being on my own and by myself. And this has been my best and longest lasting relationship ever. I'm not one for dwelling in the past or worrying about my future relationship-wise. My only future worries are about the condition of our planet with all the pollution and human overpopulation issues.
Otherwise, my boyfriend insists that my future wrinkles will not bother him. With him being white, we'll probably end up getting wrinkly about the same time anyway.
I am in my 26 and have often noticed myself to be attracted to women old enough to be my mom (I know...no rude comments please) and I know I would get that kinda reaction when apporaching these women so I wanted to know from other men how they deal. I find it easier to talk to them and they stimulate my mind more, although, there is nothing wrong with women my age, except I just dont find 20-somethings that attractive, physically or emotionally, anymore..I wish I could. Its hard going against the grain of society.
Who cares what society thinks? Give them hell, sweetie! I only range about 10-12 years younger than myself maximum when I date, so I'm not dating men young enough to be my child, but there are women out there that would. Just hold your head up and don't give a damn about what anyone thinks about you; if you're having fun and she's having fun, that's what counts.
No, it was obviously meant to be a dig at me. And why? Because I dare to ask whether it's OK to date someone with kids from previous marriages or because I think ruling out on an older woman based on the fact that she'll age is silly given how even younger women will age too?
No, it was obviously meant to be a dig at me. And why? Because I dare to ask whether it's OK to date someone with kids from previous marriages
Dare ask? Denny, if I start counting, I'm willing to bet half of your posts are on this subject! And we're discussing my self esteem?! Why would a young, never married and without children man be specifically interested (to say the least...) in single mothers?! Oh, yeah, we already had the answer - because chances of getting a better-looking single mother are way higher than getting a better-looking single childless woman. But according to the statement below, looks don't matter!
Tell me then, what is your obsession with single mothers about? I don't know why I bother asking... It's not like we haven't been going in circles about that numerous times before... Because it's not about "not minding" them (which is OK; there are other guys like you, but they don't talk about it ALL the time); it's about a particular interest in them!
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or because I think ruling out on an older woman based on the fact that she'll age is silly given how even younger women will age too?
Of course we all age. Only that she will be 20+ years ahead of you in the aging process (that was the original topic; not just a few years), all things equal. Never mind most women generally age faster and in a more unflattering way than men even if the same age, an admission plenty of sisters will come over to stone me for again, I'm sure.
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However, Denny is free to get any woman 20+ years older than he is with a bunch of kids, preferably by different dudes, as far as I'm concerned. I can only wish him good luck as he'd need it.
Everything you've outlined here is precisely why I wouldn't take a young man's interest seriously - in addition to the ickiness of said person being closer to my kids' ages.
