Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-21-2009, 05:56 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,520,789 times
Reputation: 11081

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
I'm not sure what you mean by crazy independent types. Most adults are independent; in that they work, take care of their business, etc. There's a ton of reasons for wanting a partner; love and companionship come to mind. I would bet that a lot of men would prefer a woman wanting them in their lives as opposed to needing them financially.
A rational person can accept that they're NOT Superman, or Superwoman, and would welcome another person to share the workload. I have my share of the work, and she has hers--what's wrong with that? She does the things I'm not good at.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-21-2009, 06:30 AM
 
19,045 posts, read 25,120,596 times
Reputation: 13484
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
A rational person can accept that they're NOT Superman, or Superwoman, and would welcome another person to share the workload. I have my share of the work, and she has hers--what's wrong with that? She does the things I'm not good at.
Who doesn't want to share the work load? I've never met a woman, or a man for that matter, that requires they do every thing (work, house/home, family, etc). I just assumed that most relationships consist of two people working together.

But, maybe I'm not understanding you. Do you have specific work in mind?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-21-2009, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,520,789 times
Reputation: 11081
I don't know--I'm offering to do at least half the work, just not the cooking or cleaning, because I'm not particularly good at either. But you're suggesting that a woman HAS to work outside the home. Not a requirement for me at all--I'm fine if she doesn't, I'd even prefer it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-21-2009, 06:59 AM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,223 posts, read 1,681,513 times
Reputation: 1235
While its great that housework/chores are are spread evenly between husband,wife (and even though some today would say its abuse) the kids what tends to happen in (some) marriages is that the person who brings in the most money gets the most respect. Why? Years of men working and making the women who stay at home feel as though what they do has little or no value, or the man does not appreciate what it takes to run the household while he is at work. Now that more women are working the attitude still exists, but in order to prove themselves to the men they work with (some) women are adopting that very same attitude and when they make more than their spouses the feeling of superiority only gets worse. They no longer respect the man, and have totally bought into the belief that he is not pulling his weight even though there are facts that prove otherwise.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-21-2009, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,520,789 times
Reputation: 11081
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Seriously are you my ex? He pays childsupport its just a monthly credit card bill to him.
And my answer to that was, do you mean to say that a deployed servicemember can't be a good father--because he's only providing financially for his children?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-21-2009, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,520,789 times
Reputation: 11081
Quote:
Originally Posted by SKP440 View Post
While its great that housework/chores are are spread evenly between husband,wife (and even though some today would say its abuse) the kids what tends to happen in (some) marriages is that the person who brings in the most money gets the most respect. Why? Years of men working and making the women who stay at home feel as though what they do has little or no value, or the man does not appreciate what it takes to run the household while he is at work. Now that more women are working the attitude still exists, but in order to prove themselves to the men they work with (some) women are adopting that very same attitude and when they make more than their spouses the feeling of superiority only gets worse. They no longer respect the man, and have totally bought into the belief that he is not pulling his weight even though there are facts that prove otherwise.
The question here is: Do you need the words, "I appreciate what you do." to feel appreciated? Or can you take satisfaction in a job well done without someone telling you this? Heck, they almost NEVER say anything to me at work about the KIND of job I do, but they come to me whenever they need to cover for someone being out. I've been working plumbing AND paint, really busting my butt. I don't even go outside for the first break (on the clock), I just keep working. And I still get at least a little bit of packdown done in both departments. I KNOW I do a good job--I don't need someone TELLING me. But I suppose that's because I've always taken pride in my work, and feel that the quality of my work reflects on me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-21-2009, 07:36 AM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,223 posts, read 1,681,513 times
Reputation: 1235
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
The question here is: Do you need the words, "I appreciate what you do." to feel appreciated? Or can you take satisfaction in a job well done without someone telling you this? Heck, they almost NEVER say anything to me at work about the KIND of job I do, but they come to me whenever they need to cover for someone being out. I've been working plumbing AND paint, really busting my butt. I don't even go outside for the first break (on the clock), I just keep working. And I still get at least a little bit of packdown done in both departments. I KNOW I do a good job--I don't need someone TELLING me. But I suppose that's because I've always taken pride in my work, and feel that the quality of my work reflects on me.

To feel loved todays woman needs to hear EVERYTHING. To further answer that question (back in the day) that same husband (if he had ANY good sense) came home with the flowers, and took his wife out on occasion because that was and still is one of the ways to show that he appreciated what it is she did. He may not (probably never) needed to actually say the words. As the man he WAS DOING WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN THAT RELATIONSHIP. Now that women work they want to be "told" what a good job they are doing ESPECIALLY when they come home. Forget the fact that there is a man there to help run the house, or heaven forbid they even acknowledge (in some cases) that they actually relied on their SO's salary in order to help get them where they currently find themselves. Its that support that they received (from their SO) that helped them achieve the success in the first place.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-21-2009, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,520,789 times
Reputation: 11081
My last ex didn't think I "appreciated" her enough...I told her, "Hey, I put the money into YOUR hands and trusted your ability to handle it well, didn't I? And you did." Like another post...actions speak louder than words.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-21-2009, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,223 posts, read 1,681,513 times
Reputation: 1235
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
My last ex didn't think I "appreciated" her enough...I told her, "Hey, I put the money into YOUR hands and trusted your ability to handle it well, didn't I? And you did." Like another post...actions speak louder than words.


And yet she still determined you treated her badly. In the grand scheme of things you do realize YOU CAN'T PLEASE THEM NO MATTER WHAT. Its not to say well then "I give up, but accept that in today's world a relationship is only as good as your mind reading skills, and then you still have to develop the ability to tell them what they want to hear so they feel better about themselves. Of course that is no guarantee to a long successful relationship, but it does help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-21-2009, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,520,789 times
Reputation: 11081
There is a difference between "treating her badly" and "not appreciating her enough". She couldn't say the former was true.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top