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Old 08-22-2009, 08:08 AM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
7,136 posts, read 12,628,810 times
Reputation: 9547

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I think he's been hurt and uses this rant as a security blanket.
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Old 08-22-2009, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Tampa baby!!
3,256 posts, read 8,879,269 times
Reputation: 1848
Quote:
Originally Posted by supernerdgirl View Post
I routinely say I don't need anyone else (because I don't) but I don't say it out in public with a big long rant.

Also, I do respect others besides myself, but I don't necessarily need them in my life unless they can help me out someway.

yes, this attitude is directly related from spending years and years of giving without getting anything back but heartbreak.
You're right, need was the wrong word probably. But, to say basicly you could along in life without a friend, a lover, a dog or even a houseplant, it sounds like a pretty sad life. I'm just saying self-confidence is very attractive, but not if you always go around TELLING everyone how confident you are.
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Old 08-22-2009, 08:12 AM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,955,105 times
Reputation: 46662
Right off the bat, you're dealing with somebody who has deep-seated insecurities. A guy who respected himself wouldn't have to provide you with such a long-winded rant.

What's more a person who doesn't respect others is a person who will inevitably be an a-hole to others. Quite frankly, I think everybody from my wife right on down to the checkout girl at the grocery store deserves my respect until they've proven otherwise through their actions.

Who's almost as heinous as the OP's date? Anybody who says, "You have to earn my respect." People who say this are really saying, "I won't respect you until you do something for me." To them, giving out respect is a transaction, an exchange of goods. Not really the kind of person you want to be around either.
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Old 08-22-2009, 08:13 AM
 
3,631 posts, read 10,199,478 times
Reputation: 2039
Quote:
Originally Posted by floridadreamer View Post
You're right, need was the wrong word probably. But, to say basicly you could along in life without a friend, a lover, a dog or even a houseplant, it sounds like a pretty sad life. I'm just saying self-confidence is very attractive, but not if you always go around TELLING everyone how confident you are.
oh sure.

and my "don't need" is in the romantic sense. I find all the games to be a bunch of bunk.

I need people to get me ahead in my career, for instance.

I don't really need a lot of new "friends" since they inevitably disappoint me.
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Old 08-22-2009, 08:55 AM
 
3,555 posts, read 4,366,931 times
Reputation: 6240
Sounds like a guy who doesn't owe anything to anyone and is darn proud of having pulled himself up by his bootstraps. But surely, he should be a bit more tactful - even humble - about how he conveys and projects his sense of accomplishment to others. He may not know how to do this on his own given that "until now" he's never had a need to be tactful about it.

Sounds like he could benefit from the tactfulness of a sweet and lovely woman who will take him by the hand and show him how to tone down his boisterousness.

It's no wonder he wanted a second date. Subcounciously, he may have seen that "tactful woman" in you.
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Old 08-22-2009, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
55 posts, read 59,374 times
Reputation: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by crossing over View Post
... but myself
I went on a date once with this guy who told me how he built his career from scratch and that he's come a long way from the boy he used to be etc etc.That was good, I thought to myself. Then he went on to say how, because he is a self made man, he does not have to respect anyone but himself, because he neither owes anything to anyone nor does he want to give anything to anyone. And that life is just great when you do your own thing and you don't have to care for anyone.He was in his 40s and going on this date with me, apparently looking to fill SOME gap in his life, although his speech was along the lines of "I have everything, I don't need anything else or anyone".I never went on a 2nd date, although he kept insisting for a long wile. I still think about his speech though every now and then and shrug my shoulders - how would you people interpret the "I don't have to respect anyone else" theory ?
Thank goodness you were smart enough to not go on a second date with this guy. How would I interpret his theories?? Self-centered, egotistical, selfish, good-for-nothing USER and better off by himself on some deserted island with nothing but snakes, bugs and coconuts!! What a horrible person! I don't know of one single, solitary person in this world who doesn't need another person at one time or another in their life.

I hope he never gets seriously ill and needs a doctor, or a hospital or worse case scenario a heart transplant because I am SURE with his attitude he has plenty of spare HEARTS stored on ice at his home and won't need anyone to help him replace the one he already has that obviously is NOT functioning properly.

Good for you for dumping this guy...YOU don't need him!!
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Old 08-22-2009, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Northside Of Jacksonville
3,337 posts, read 7,094,294 times
Reputation: 3464
Most likely he's been hurt in the past so that's why he said what he said. Sounds like he's independent, which is a good thing. He figures why open up to people to be disappointed everytime. He doesn't want to go through the hassle so that's why he is the way he is.
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Old 08-22-2009, 11:14 AM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,115 posts, read 5,017,805 times
Reputation: 2655
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Right off the bat, you're dealing with somebody who has deep-seated insecurities. A guy who respected himself wouldn't have to provide you with such a long-winded rant.

What's more a person who doesn't respect others is a person who will inevitably be an a-hole to others. Quite frankly, I think everybody from my wife right on down to the checkout girl at the grocery store deserves my respect until they've proven otherwise through their actions.

Who's almost as heinous as the OP's date? Anybody who says, "You have to earn my respect." People who say this are really saying, "I won't respect you until you do something for me." To them, giving out respect is a transaction, an exchange of goods. Not really the kind of person you want to be around either.
Right on the dot, cpg!

I give everyone I meet and know the basic level of respect simply because they are human.

I reserve another kind of respect - true and deep admiration - only for those that I really feel that kind of respect for. I don't believe I have to give this type of respect to everyone because yes, everyone does NOT deserve it in my eyes.

Also, actions and words play into the amount of respect I have for someone as well. I know a platonic male friend that I gradually had less and less respect for because of the idiotic things he would say.
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Old 08-22-2009, 11:45 AM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,974 posts, read 33,841,656 times
Reputation: 10491
Quote:
Originally Posted by crossing over View Post
...... Then he went on to say how, because he is a self made man, he does not have to respect anyone but himself, because he neither owes anything to anyone nor does he want to give anything to anyone. And that life is just great when you do your own thing and you don't have to care for anyone.
That is pretty sad. Can you imagine what the world/humanity would be like if everyone felt this way? Terrible.

Respect should be given to EVERYONE. Especially those who are older and those who are teachers. I personally give everyone respect unless they prove to me that they should NOT be respected by their actions.
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Old 08-22-2009, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,165 posts, read 20,706,562 times
Reputation: 19855
Sounds bitter to me. Like the kid who got picked on a lot in school and said "I'll show you!". Or just some unresolved issues from childhood. A guy like that will die alone. Watch Citizen Kane...he'll be crying over his "rosebud" on his death bed.
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