Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This is my first time posting a relationship question and it makes me somewhat anxious because I haven't been available for quite some time. However, I'm a 32 year old widow with three small children (ages 3, 4 and 5). My husband was in the military and died 3 years ago and I haven't dated (or met) anyone since. I've been trying to just focus on raising my children and getting them (us) spiritually grounded because that's my first priority and I didn't want to share that time. However, it's been 3 years and I'm now starting to get the urge to date. The thing is, I haven't dated anyone is a long time because I've been with one man for almost 10 years (including the 3 years he's been gone). I really want my kids to have a good Christian father figure and I want the companionship as well. I'm just a little insecure because I have 3 children and men may not find that attractive despite being financially secure. Now, my questions are....In your opinion, is it too soon to starting dating again? and What are some ways I can meet someone (without online dating...don't feel comfortable with being so obvious). Thank you.
Now, my questions are....In your opinion, is it too soon to starting dating again?
Absolutely not, I think it's time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chancelace
What are some ways I can meet someone (without online dating...don't feel comfortable with being so obvious). Thank you.
Well since you say your Christian, church and church outings would be a great start, friends of friends, etc.
And don't let having 3 kids make you think you won't find anybody, unlike the things you may read on city data, out in the real world there is no shortage of men dating and marrying women with children.
This is my first time posting a relationship question and it makes me somewhat anxious because I haven't been available for quite some time. However, I'm a 32 year old widow with three small children (ages 3, 4 and 5). My husband was in the military and died 3 years ago and I haven't dated (or met) anyone since. I've been trying to just focus on raising my children and getting them (us) spiritually grounded because that's my first priority and I didn't want to share that time. However, it's been 3 years and I'm now starting to get the urge to date. The thing is, I haven't dated anyone is a long time because I've been with one man for almost 10 years (including the 3 years he's been gone). I really want my kids to have a good Christian father figure and I want the companionship as well. I'm just a little insecure because I have 3 children and men may not find that attractive despite being financially secure. Now, my questions are....In your opinion, is it too soon to starting dating again? and What are some ways I can meet someone (without online dating...don't feel comfortable with being so obvious). Thank you.
It sounds like you have everything in order and control. Go for it
This is my first time posting a relationship question and it makes me somewhat anxious because I haven't been available for quite some time. However, I'm a 32 year old widow with three small children (ages 3, 4 and 5). My husband was in the military and died 3 years ago and I haven't dated (or met) anyone since. I've been trying to just focus on raising my children and getting them (us) spiritually grounded because that's my first priority and I didn't want to share that time. However, it's been 3 years and I'm now starting to get the urge to date. The thing is, I haven't dated anyone is a long time because I've been with one man for almost 10 years (including the 3 years he's been gone). I really want my kids to have a good Christian father figure and I want the companionship as well. I'm just a little insecure because I have 3 children and men may not find that attractive despite being financially secure. Now, my questions are....In your opinion, is it too soon to starting dating again? and What are some ways I can meet someone (without online dating...don't feel comfortable with being so obvious). Thank you.
I'm so sorry for your loss and appreciate your husbands sacrifice.
YOU alone are the only one who can decide when the time is right to begin dating again - trust your instincts and keep your kids as your focus and you'll do fine.
I would however recommend that you be very careful not to introduce every person you might date to your kids - this could be very confusing for them. I'd wait until you found that someone special before ever bringing him around your kids - and even then, in measured doses.
If you don't already belong to a church family perhaps you could look for a place to worship with lots of programs for kids and many young singles to meet. Best of luck to you!
Church activities and possibly if you have time, places you can volunteer might be good places to meet people. I'd go out looking to make great friendships and if you find someone that something special blossoms with, all the better.
I'm glad to hear you and the kids are still living and you can still have a great life. Different than you planned but full still.
You know what? Men who would run because you have children with your husband are no good for you anyway, don't worry because it just means right off the bat you get to weed out a bunch of no's for you. There are some good guys out there just take everything slow and think of it as having fun and making friendships and just enjoy your life and see what things come.
In my opinion, when YOU'RE ready to start dating again, then start dating again. Nobody here knows how you feel inside, so that's a choice that you have to make. But, since you're asking here, I think that you're ready..
Online dating isn't what it used to be, so I wouldn't rule it out completely. I'd do your research though and find a good site to go to. I've known quite a few people that's met online, and they seem to be happy together. Still, I'm with you on this, I don't put much stock in online dating, I guess I'm more of a traditionalist.
So, back to meeting people the old fashioned way.. The options there are limitless, but it all depends on what you enjoy doing. Thing is, you don't want to "force" things - going specific places with the sole intention of meeting a guy - because then you lose focus of what you want out of life. Go places that you like to go, do things that you like to do, and meet guys that way. Just start up a conversation and let things go from there. Above all, be true to yourself.
There's the typical meeting places: Bars, clubs, etc.. I doubt you'll meet any good christian father-figures there.. Then there's church, but sometimes that can be an iffy situation..
Then there's the non-traditional typical meeting places: Classes you can take through the college, guys that attend you're kids school functions, different clubs and organizations (Kiwanis, Habitat for Humanity, etc), boy scout/cub scout/girl scout functions - if your kids are in any of those.. These are all great places to meet people, but they take more of a commitment. I took a writing workshop course through the local college and met someone through that.. We got along great, and had a lot of things in common. Ultimately, it didn't work out, but that's the way dating goes. Ya keep searching until ya find that perfect person.
Finally, there's just meeting people while doing your normal routine. Someone mentioned on a post here about meeting people at grocery stores - actually, that's not as weird as it sounds. There's been times that I've been in a long line and turn around and start talking to the person behind me, we become friends, etc.. Or if you like go to to book stores, that's always a good place to meet new people. There's a used book store that I always go to and the owners and I have become good friends. They've actually introduced me to people before. Thing is, ya never know where you're going to meet that next special person: Could be on a bus, or at work, or while you're picking up school supplies..
Don't worry so much about WHERE to meet people, rather, just start conversations no matter where you are - just be confident in yourself. That's all that matters.
This is my first time posting a relationship question and it makes me somewhat anxious because I haven't been available for quite some time. However, I'm a 32 year old widow with three small children (ages 3, 4 and 5). My husband was in the military and died 3 years ago and I haven't dated (or met) anyone since. I've been trying to just focus on raising my children and getting them (us) spiritually grounded because that's my first priority and I didn't want to share that time. However, it's been 3 years and I'm now starting to get the urge to date. The thing is, I haven't dated anyone is a long time because I've been with one man for almost 10 years (including the 3 years he's been gone). I really want my kids to have a good Christian father figure and I want the companionship as well. I'm just a little insecure because I have 3 children and men may not find that attractive despite being financially secure. Now, my questions are....In your opinion, is it too soon to starting dating again? and What are some ways I can meet someone (without online dating...don't feel comfortable with being so obvious). Thank you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I think you did the right thing by waiting a few years and getting your and your kids lives in order.
You can meet guys lots of places. Find an activitiy you enjoy and talk to people there. Be open and friendly. Make eye contact. Go to the gym. Get involved in single parent groups. Online dating may not be a bad option, at least it would get you out on a few dates, even if things don't work out long term - there are some Christian dating sites out there. Church is a good option. Even if you don't meet Mr. Right at church, you may make new friends who would then introduce you to someone.
I think you should ask your friends, family, and others through your church (people whose judgement you trust) to introduce you to a man who shares your belief system. I think it's better to meet someone through someone you already know, and is then somewhat "pre-screened."
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
