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Old 08-25-2009, 07:29 AM
 
6,563 posts, read 13,333,927 times
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You know that feeling you get when you first meet someone and get all ga-ga over them and are all jittery and such.... "Do I call? Do I wait? Do I kiss him/her on the first date?", (I'm a poet and didn't know it.. ).

I know I'm going to get a lot of the "Oh I ALWAYS feel that way about my husband so 'no'." Or the "I try to re-create the feeling by having spontaneous, romantic movie and date nights....." etc.....

Yes, I understand there are ways to keep the relationship "fresh" in a marriage, but no matter how you try it won't be like that feeling you had when you first met them...

I'm married as well and sometimes ponder how, if all goes the way it should, that I'll never go through that "feeling" again... It's not that I'm depressed over it, but fond memories and such I guess....

Thoughts?
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Old 08-25-2009, 08:00 AM
 
Location: Sunset Mountain
1,385 posts, read 2,940,809 times
Reputation: 1396
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhett_Butler View Post
You know that feeling you get when you first meet someone and get all ga-ga over them and are all jittery and such.... "Do I call? Do I wait? Do I kiss him/her on the first date?", (I'm a poet and didn't know it.. ).

I know I'm going to get a lot of the "Oh I ALWAYS feel that way about my husband so 'no'." Or the "I try to re-create the feeling by having spontaneous, romantic movie and date nights....." etc.....

Yes, I understand there are ways to keep the relationship "fresh" in a marriage, but no matter how you try it won't be like that feeling you had when you first met them...

I'm married as well and sometimes ponder how, if all goes the way it should, that I'll never go through that "feeling" again... It's not that I'm depressed over it, but fond memories and such I guess....

Thoughts?

People are going to change, grow, mature, experience things in life while married that will change parts of who they are. Sometimes this affects the relationship, other times you never even notice or miss a step.

I was BF with my DH for 2 years before we ever dated. When we decided one night to take it one step further, we were married two years later, and now celebrating our 7th anniversary this year.

I got that feeling of butterflies when I'd get off the plane to visit him, when we were friend, when we were lovers, and when we're husband and wife. Long absences seem to kick it in full swing for me and it lasts for weeks.

Since we didn't "date or court" each other, we often felt like we missed out on those fun things and feelings, but we never have regretted it. We never had to get dressed up and be a better version of ourselves to impress each other. He had seen me at my worst long before he saw me at my best when we were friends.

He's seen me every which way come Sunday since, and when he comes home from work and gives me that smile, I still turn to butter. When he hugs me, my legs go weak.

When he kisses me, I get light headed. That man still charms the stars for me. So even though we've grown up so much since age 23 when we met, we still feel like we're courting and dating every day.
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Old 08-25-2009, 08:07 AM
 
8,415 posts, read 36,906,371 times
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Mmmm...I remember Lewis Black ranting off about he can't handle hope or change because he is just too old for that.....

I hate first date feelings...it makes me sick to think of it. Its just all so fake. I prefer the butterflies of accomplishments over love bugs.
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Old 08-25-2009, 08:33 AM
 
2,190 posts, read 7,190,687 times
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Only way to get that feeling back is to become swingers
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Old 08-25-2009, 09:11 AM
 
12,589 posts, read 14,799,246 times
Reputation: 15169
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katlakat View Post
People are going to change, grow, mature, experience things in life while married that will change parts of who they are. Sometimes this affects the relationship, other times you never even notice or miss a step.

I was BF with my DH for 2 years before we ever dated. When we decided one night to take it one step further, we were married two years later, and now celebrating our 7th anniversary this year.

I got that feeling of butterflies when I'd get off the plane to visit him, when we were friend, when we were lovers, and when we're husband and wife. Long absences seem to kick it in full swing for me and it lasts for weeks.

Since we didn't "date or court" each other, we often felt like we missed out on those fun things and feelings, but we never have regretted it. We never had to get dressed up and be a better version of ourselves to impress each other. He had seen me at my worst long before he saw me at my best when we were friends.

He's seen me every which way come Sunday since, and when he comes home from work and gives me that smile, I still turn to butter. When he hugs me, my legs go weak.

When he kisses me, I get light headed. That man still charms the stars for me. So even though we've grown up so much since age 23 when we met, we still feel like we're courting and dating every day.
I really appreciate your post.

I wish you would post a thread to tell women on here to be this way for their men. Seriously.

You have never tried to impress or change to please. You were yourself. You sound very mature in the expressions you made on here.

You...are the reason you have a happy marriage. If more women would just be themselves and act as if they would when they were by themselves or be who they are at all times instead of putting on this front they will meet someone who adores them. You cannot adore someone who isn't who they seem to be.

When someone meets a girl who they fall in love with and then after marrying her finds she isn't who she is. She perhaps doesn't like the things she said she likes or does things she only did to impress you it's all a lie. A complete and cruel lie.

So I rep you for being yourself.
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Old 08-25-2009, 09:24 AM
 
2,190 posts, read 7,190,687 times
Reputation: 1287
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
I really appreciate your post.

I wish you would post a thread to tell women on here to be this way for their men. Seriously.

You have never tried to impress or change to please. You were yourself. You sound very mature in the expressions you made on here.

You...are the reason you have a happy marriage. If more women would just be themselves and act as if they would when they were by themselves or be who they are at all times instead of putting on this front they will meet someone who adores them. You cannot adore someone who isn't who they seem to be.

When someone meets a girl who they fall in love with and then after marrying her finds she isn't who she is. She perhaps doesn't like the things she said she likes or does things she only did to impress you it's all a lie. A complete and cruel lie.

So I rep you for being yourself.
In bold...She is the minority, you can't force people to feel emotions
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Old 08-25-2009, 09:47 AM
 
12,589 posts, read 14,799,246 times
Reputation: 15169
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheJagMan View Post
In bold...She is the minority, you can't force people to feel emotions
My point was is this young lady got to know herself. What she liked and how she was as a person. Then she met someone who enjoys her for who she is. Not a false front of a person that many today see when they date.

She is a minority but she sure can help those single gals out there who are trying so hard to be the woman she thinks a certain man would like. Instead they should just be themselves. If he likes you for you then he is a good catch. If not, you cannot live in a way that is not you. Eventually it will surface and he may not like the unpleasant surprise of anger, jealousy, rage....contentiousness, laziness...oh sorry..got carried away.
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Old 08-25-2009, 09:50 AM
 
Location: NY metro area
7,787 posts, read 15,109,085 times
Reputation: 10760
I used to get anxious when my husband was returning from a trip and I was picking him up at the airport or he was expected to return home. Now with 2 toddlers, my mind is more often than not elsewhere despite being excited about his return. I'm usually entertaining my kids instead of keeping my eyes on the customs exit.

This is one of the reasons why I want to start meeting my husband out for drinks/dinner instead of leaving the home together. There's something about the idea of me dressing for him (without asking him his opinion, which I always do) and then the anticipation of meeting him out hoping he likes what he sees. [Sure I dress up & surprise him at home, but the anticipation isn't long enough and somewhat different.]
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Old 08-25-2009, 09:50 AM
 
28,900 posts, read 49,195,528 times
Reputation: 46323
You know what? That's really overrated stuff. I like the fact that I have a partner in life who is with me no matter what. To me, that's much more of a turn-on than chasing after the next cheap thrill, thanks.
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Old 08-25-2009, 09:59 AM
 
4,253 posts, read 8,588,790 times
Reputation: 5112
No, it doesn't bother me. I have a scale in my brain where what I have is on one side, the fleeting feelings like in the OP, are on the other side.

What I have, wins hands down.
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