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So, i was doing Long distance with my ex. we became very distant and eventually our attraction subsided.
She cheated on me repeatedly. And I think she has found somebody better.
I have not contacted her since ending it.
I miss her dearly but cant be friends while she is with somebody else.
If i were to be friends with her now would it hurt the other guy enough to make him cut ties with her?
or should i guilt her for cheating?
Or continue no contact (been NC since break up, around 2 months)? she hates that i dont respond to her.
She wants to be friends now but says that we will never get back together. I dont know if she says that for a reaction or truly means it... just a month ago she said her heart wants me bad, but her head knows it wont work..
I just want them to stop !
Funny enough, her dad cheats on her mom! and I dont know how she can live like this knowing the pain her mom goes through and thats something i would like to ask her...
I know this period of not responding will only drive her crazy for a bit and then eventually she'll get over it.
Im not sure if she should get over it knowing how i felt coz as of now she blames me for cheating, she claims If i hadnt neglected her she wouldnt have cheated? I want to tell her thats crazy. I hate she can live so happy after destroying us.
I feel like if i were to be friends with her and act like i have completely forgiven her maybe itll put a damper on their relationship coz he wont like her talkin to me.. eventuallly he'll realise and quit it.. who know?
i feel like if i were to NC, it wouldnt make much of a diff. since we drifted apart anyways this wont be much of a change?
whats the best way ?
I miss her dearly but cant be friends while she is with somebody else.
That's not what 'friends' means. Friends means you are happy for her, like you are with your guy friends when they are getting laid.
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If i were to be friends with her now would it hurt the other guy enough to make him cut ties with her?
No. He would be happy that she had a friend.
Quote:
or should i guilt her for cheating?
Or continue no contact (been NC since break up, around 2 months)? she hates that i dont respond to her.
She wants to be friends now but says that we will never get back together. I dont know if she says that for a reaction or truly means it... just a month ago she said her heart wants me bad, but her head knows it wont work..
She is being consistent. First she said it was painful but she was sure she never wants to get back together. Now the pain has lessened and she continues to say that she never wants to get back together.
Quote:
I know this period of not responding will only drive her crazy for a bit and then eventually she'll get over it.
Im not sure if she should get over it knowing how i felt coz as of now she blames me for cheating, she claims If i hadnt neglected her she wouldnt have cheated? I want to tell her thats crazy. I hate she can live so happy after destroying us.
That's generally how it goes with cheating. The cheater feel like the way they suffered before cheating justifies the cheating, and the cheatee disagrees.
'No contact' is childish acting out. It's fine that you are still angry and upset with her. But you can tell her that. You can say that you are still upset and you need space.
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What should i Do to make them stop??
They are not going to stop. Even if they do break up, it won't be about you and she will not get back with you. I am sorry.
So, i was doing Long distance with my ex. we became very distant and eventually our attraction subsided.
She cheated on me repeatedly. And I think she has found somebody better.
I have not contacted her since ending it.
I miss her dearly but cant be friends while she is with somebody else. If i were to be friends with her now would it hurt the other guy enough to make him cut ties with her?
or should i guilt her for cheating?
Or continue no contact (been NC since break up, around 2 months)? she hates that i dont respond to her.
She wants to be friends now but says that we will never get back together. I dont know if she says that for a reaction or truly means it... just a month ago she said her heart wants me bad, but her head knows it wont work..
I just want them to stop !
Funny enough, her dad cheats on her mom! and I dont know how she can live like this knowing the pain her mom goes through and thats something i would like to ask her...
I know this period of not responding will only drive her crazy for a bit and then eventually she'll get over it. Im not sure if she should get over it knowing how i felt coz as of now she blames me for cheating, she claims If i hadnt neglected her she wouldnt have cheated? I want to tell her thats crazy. I hate she can live so happy after destroying us.
What should i Do to make them stop??
Okay, lets break this down by each activity or incident (and fwiw I am female). Why, after getting your heart and emotions broken to bits, would you have such empathy for the person who is the one screwing her?
Of course she is hurt you don't that you don't respond but not for the reasons you might expect. One, she is addicted to attention and also the ambiguity of 'leaving but constantly contact you...the little beosh is just making sure she has left the door open when all the men she chews up and spits out runs out - She's leaving her options open. This is typically a maneuver by a man, but in women it's just surfacing.
If she was standing next to me while I listened to her blame you for all of this. You need to get the monkey off your back and on her.(while I grabbed the phone and smacked the hell out of her myself.)
I would wait until you get another text and simply tell her, "I cannot do this and would like it if we didn't talk. Once you take responsibility for your actions there is nothing to discuss and wish her well. Don't wait for a response just hang up the phone. You then have made your case and what you want to happen.
I hate to say it, but by continual contact and letting this dysfunction continue = you are becoming a sad sack.
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