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...that getting married at 20 will last for 65+ years
Two of my friends recently posted wedding photos on Facebook. One friend's daughter (age 22) got married last weekend. She just graduated from college a few months ago. The bride was beautiful and all smiles. The groom for the most part, looked like he'd rather be somewhere else
Another friend's niece got married recently as well. She's 20 The photos were stunningly beautiful, but the bride seemed to be more interested in looking like a model for the photos, than looking lovingly at her new husband. Her half-sister (age 24) got married a few years ago and has two kids already. The first kid came along before the wedding, and the second one soon after.
I wonder, out of all three of these marriages, will any of them last more than 5 or 10 years at the most?
I guess one thing two of them have going for them is that their parents are still married. The third one (the 24 year old) was two when her Mom and stepdad married, so none of them were raised in broken homes. Will that matter, when they got married so young, and will probably change quite a bit in the next 10 years.
My parents were married at 21 and 23 and just celebrated their 47th anniversary last week. One set of my grandparents were married for over 65 years and the other for over 70. All married in their early 20's. Of course, times have changed, but I do believe that where there's a will to make it work, it will work.
The odds are against in them. I know there will be the commentary that our society is just a lot more accepting of divorce nowadays (I am not disagreeing with that), but there is a lot more to it than that. If you think about the average 20 to 24 year old today, they are way less mature than previous generations. They were brought up in an era where the parents (even in less afluent homes) could do so much more for them financially and expected so much less of them to contribute to the household (as in working on the farm, or even just chores).
There are still society influences that tell young ladies that being married is supposed to be like being rescued by a Prince Charming. It doesn't take long for reality to set in. Being married, keeping a home, raising children, is way more work than what Barbie doll portrayed it as.
Put that on top of the fact that the majority of people have not experienced enough of the world at those young ages to be the person that they will settle into (for much of their lives). It's not to say that we don't always change and grow as people (I believe you should grow and if you don't it's because you have closed yourself down); but between the age of 18 and 25 (maybe even a few years older than this) the amount of adult development is equivalent to what toddlers experience for their childhood development......it is huge.
I was married young (22) for all the wrong reasons. Yes I thought I loved him, but it was getting pregnant and fearing what my family would think of me that was my motivation to marry. It was never an appropriate relationship, and was evident early into it. I tried and tried to be what he wanted me to be, because in my mind I wanted to make my marriage work. He didn't love me and went outside the marriage, before we ultimately divorced a few years later. When you think about young people divorcing, please keep it in your mind that isn't always "the easy way out" as some people like to put it. I was willing to stay with someone who I knew didn't love me the way a spouse should.
I am not sure anymore. I know that "Till death do us part" hails from the times when the life expectancy was 30 and 40 years old. People died even before reaching menopause! Commitment till death made sense then.
People should marry in their 40s and 50s, to get back to the "Till death do us part".
My husband and I were 22 and 23, we are now married for 27 years.....Divorce is ABSOLUTELY nowhere in our future. We are each other's best friend. We were young and very immature when we got married, but we basically 'grew up' together. He has been the only guy I have ever been with. I love him to death...and by the way...no college education either. It would be a challenge to find a guy that is willing to work harder than him...not really a challenge....impossible. He's a great father to our 2 daughters and a great husband. I still feel like I make women jealous that I have him. He's still turns me on after 27 years of marriage! Eat your heart out ladies!
It was discovered, after they died, my grandparents were divorced and then remarried each other again....so how or where would you start counting with that?
There's no answer to this. Some people stay married who absolutely can't stand each other but can't live without the other. Each thinks the other "needs" the other. It's their excuse to stay together, though they complain about each other all the time. I know at least four like this - been married for over 40 years.
On the other hand, nowadays people give up too fast and aren't used to putting up with each other as much. So I guess chances of remaining married in this culture are slim.
I am not sure anymore. I know that "Till death do us part" hails from the times when the life expectancy was 30 and 40 years old. People died even before reaching menopause! Commitment till death made sense then.
People should marry in their 40s and 50s, to get back to the "Till death do us part".
Yes, I absolutely agree. Of course, I never wanted a lot of kids. People who do would have to marry in their early 30s, I guess.
But maturity IS delayed in modern society so people should focus on developing themselves during the first three decades of their lives and then maybe more would be ready and able to commit fully to someone else and enjoy life together. By then, attitudes, ethics, etc. are firmly established and the appearance has settled in, too, so there are fewer "surprises."
I blame all of these stupid bride and wedding shows on TV, plus the glamorization of celeb weddings (and even divorces) that are making these foolish young women want to marry. They focus on THE DAY, not THE LIFE.
There's no answer to this. Some people stay married who absolutely can't stand each other but can't live without the other. Each thinks the other "needs" the other. It's their excuse to stay together, though they complain about each other all the time. I know at least four like this - been married for over 40 years.
My parents fought all of the time. They even fought about which one would call a divorce lawyer first, and neither wanted to be the one to call it quits and end it. The rationale was the first one who called would be blamed by the whole family and endure even more hell. That's why they stayed married!
Well, it's rare nowadays but my grandparents have been married for 57 years. I really admire them for having endured this for so long.
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The photos were stunningly beautiful, but the bride seemed to be more interested in looking like a model for the photos, than looking lovingly at her new husband. Her half-sister (age 24) got married a few years ago and has two kids already. The first kid came along before the wedding, and the second one soon after.
