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I discovered two weeks ago that my wife has been cheating on me. I'm still very shocked, nothing like this has happened to me before and I never thought it would. I'd just like some advice please. What am I supposed to do in this situation?
Make absolutely sure... because false accusations can be just as hurtful. Confront her about it when the children are not around. I don't think there is anything easy about it.
If you do, you have to confront her with it. Be prepared for denial and lies. Maybe some blaming you as well. It might help to talk to a lawyer first if you want to cover your bases.
Get a good support system, including a counselor or clergy if you can. Take care of yourself and your kids. Try to shield them from this until you know what you are going to do.
If it's true then you have some questions to ask and decisions to make as I'm sure you're aware. Do you want to work it out and stay married? Could you bring yourself to forgive? Are you amenable to couple's counseling? Do you want to leave? Do you want her to leave? If and when you confront her, how do you think she will respond? What's behind it? What's wrong in your relationship/marriage? Can it be mended? Are there children of the marriage?
Lots of questions. No answers yet.
Sorry this is happening to you if, in fact, it is. Best of luck.
1) The ones who claim that no marriage can survive cheating. Just blow it up now.
and
2) The ones who realize that cheating is, very often, the symptom of deeper problems in a marriage that need to be resolved.
Mind you, that is not to provide excuses for the person doing the cheating. No excuse for that. But someone who cheats is often doing so as kind of a last resort when the marriage has soured, yet that same person wants to preserve the relationship.
I've known several marriages that have survived adultery, and wound up being far stronger once the couple went to counseling and communicated honestly about the problems in the marriage. Are the spouses glad they decided to tough it out and work things through rather than simply cut and run? Yes.
So it's up to you. Take the easy route or the tougher one? A lot depends on how much you want to preserve the marriage in the first place.
If it's true then you have some questions to ask and decisions to make as I'm sure you're aware. Do you want to work it out and stay married? Could you bring yourself to forgive? Are you amenable to couple's counseling? Do you want to leave? Do you want her to leave? If and when you confront her, how do you think she will respond? What's behind it? What's wrong in your relationship/marriage? Can it be mended? Are there children of the marriage?
Lots of questions. No answers yet.
Sorry this is happening to you if, in fact, it is. Best of luck.
I would secure your finances before anything else. Start putting all the bills in her name (water electric cable gas). Then make your case on how to approach her with your info.
I have no previous experience (thankfully) with what your going thru and am very sorry to hear about your situation.
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