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Old 09-10-2009, 04:34 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
13,584 posts, read 21,358,138 times
Reputation: 10082

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Don't have any advice Jeepgirl but seems to me you are being considerate to him and I think you are ok because of it.

Back in the day as a young pup being in bands alot of my fellow band mates and stuff often ridiculed women by their looks,and I was kind of alright with a heavier woman if it happened.On night after a gig a "chunky" girl hit on me and she had chunk in the right places for my likes but due to peer pressure from my mates I let her pass by.I regret that now.

Latter I adopted a FU whatever you think attitude and listened to myself first...
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Old 09-10-2009, 04:42 PM
 
18,270 posts, read 14,397,937 times
Reputation: 12985
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
Don't have any advice Jeepgirl but seems to me you are being considerate to him and I think you are ok because of it.

Back in the day as a young pup being in bands alot of my fellow band mates and stuff often ridiculed women by their looks,and I was kind of alright with a heavier woman if it happened.On night after a gig a "chunky" girl hit on me and she had chunk in the right places for my likes but due to peer pressure from my mates I let her pass by.I regret that now.

Latter I adopted a FU whatever you think attitude and listened to myself first...
Good for you lionking! Sometimes we must listen to ourselves before we listen to others who don't have our best interest, but theirs.
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Old 09-10-2009, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,047,000 times
Reputation: 22814
Jeep, I've been wondering why you're looking for a serious relationship at all if you're moving soon...
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Old 09-10-2009, 09:41 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,058 posts, read 18,263,423 times
Reputation: 37120
I had a neighbor gal who was single well into her forties. I watched all kinds of males file in and out for years. Until one day, she came by to say she was getting married. Her soon-to-be husband moved in before the wedding. I walked over to meet the guy. He ended up being almost exactly what you've described in your post. And do you know she was the happiest with him. I could tell she adored and loved the guy from the bottom of her heart. It was really nice to see. So, good luck to you!
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Old 09-11-2009, 12:48 AM
 
Location: USA
11,169 posts, read 10,638,920 times
Reputation: 6381
Thumbs down Ka-BOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How I wish I could see some of your faces in person when I tell you this. Some more than others.

In fact, I wish you could see MINE.

TODAY, tomorrow - YES, I could get over the weight if he never lost it.

Know why? I learned a LOAD of new things.

There are much BIGGER issues!!!

Oh, he is still a huge sweetheart - but I found my breaking point and told him we can only stay friends and he understands why entirely. Oh! and so will YOU when you hear this!

*clears throat* - you ready?

- At 37, although he is in his own place, etc. - his parent's control all of his money. He has no credit cards of his own because his parent's advise against it and won't ALLOW him to. [[yeah, won't "allow" him to]] Keep reading. He cannot get any of his own money out of the bank that HE EARNS out without a double siggy from his Mom, who is on his account. She carries the debit card for that account. He has a second account for himself that she gives him money, AN ALLOWANCE, to deposit into it. $75/week ALLOWANCE. OH - but hey, he said it's better than what it was last year, he is up from $50/week!!! NO, I AM NOT KIDDING. I thought he was BS'ing me ----thought he was SOOOOOOOO BS'ing me, you know - with his sense of humor and all. . . then he said to me, "no, I am serious, listen...." He dialed his Mom up and put her on speakerphone. "Hi Mom, I need $300 out of the account tomorrow because I want to take [my name here] to Universal Studios on Saturday." She said, "No, there are things you both can do that are cheaper than that and still have fun. I will give you another $50 on top of your allowance. That's all. Think of something cheaper. Don't argue with me because I know what's best for you, it's late now, so good night." [it was 8pm, btw]

I sat there in shock. My jaw DROPPED to *bleeping* ground.
I sat there in shock. My jaw DROPPED to *bleeping* ground.
I sat there in shock. My jaw DROPPED to *bleeping* ground.


On top of THAT - as if THAT is not enough - - he IS borderline Diabetic, has high blood pressure, has a something whatever something disc issue in his back that makes him feel like a knife is inserted into it when he walks, degenerative tissue in both his knees, has sleep apnea [and sleeps with the, what is it, oxygen? tubes in his nose], fell asleep twice while driving already in the past 3 years - once with his daughter in the car, has chronic carpel tunnel and his fingers go numb often but he is having surgery on that soon, has fluid build-up in his elbow that he is having surgery on soon, is on Wellbutrin for his depression, Xanax and some other muscle relaxer for the evening so he can sleep, takes on average of 15 Vicodin a day because how his body aches so much, chews down his 800mg of Ibuprofen in addition to that. . OH! But don't worry, he doesn't drink with all those meds because of the 2 DUI's he got a couple years ago. . . I know I am missing something else here. . .

When I asked him if he thought about getting the Lap Band - he said he wants to but his mom won't allow him to spend his own monies on it because she thinks it is all a bunch of bull, even after his Docs kept telling her over a period of about 9 months that it could save his life. She won't hear of it and calls it ridiculous.

All I could say in a dulled-shock was - "How could you EVEN hand your money to her? HOW?!" I was like, "Don't! Deposit in YOUR account?!?"

I'm beside myself. I have never seen anything like this in my life. As intelligent as he is - and as truly smart as he is - I cannot believe how whipped he is by his own parents - I mean, he needs to cut the apron strings.

I even asked him, "So like, if we wanted to go to the Keys for the weekend, you have to ask YOUR MOM, at 37 y/o for permission?"

Uhm, hm. Ye-up.

He said it all started when he was going to go into a business partnership with another guy 7 years ago and invested a quarter of a Mil - and the other guy took off with it. They hired PI's to find the guy, blah blah . couldn't find him. *too much drama for me!!!!* - and that is when his mom decided he had no other choice but to approve every cent of his.

NOT FOR ME.

I will remain a very platonic friend/acquaintance - whatever. Only. I will continue to support his desire to lose weight. This guy obviously could use a positive support system. After hearing the tone in his mothers voice (so, so negative) I can be a source of positive reinforcement - but I won't be getting too close to this situation. I do not want toxic crap in my life. Noooooo way. Hell no! And this evening, he was gracious and told me that he doesn't blame me a bit to not want an involvement more than a friendship.


NEXT!!!!!
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Old 09-11-2009, 12:51 AM
 
Location: USA
11,169 posts, read 10,638,920 times
Reputation: 6381
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Jeep, I've been wondering why you're looking for a serious relationship at all if you're moving soon...
Phhfffffffffffftttttt, like any of them have lasted more than 3 months since my divorce. I have been upfront in mentioning my moving in the late Spring. I am disclosing it immediately.
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Old 09-11-2009, 01:08 AM
 
Location: USA
2,593 posts, read 4,230,501 times
Reputation: 2240
Good decision on not seeing him anymore, wow sounds like such a basket case.
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Old 09-11-2009, 01:13 AM
 
18,270 posts, read 14,397,937 times
Reputation: 12985
I honestly think he is a drug abuser. But they won't tell you that.
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Old 09-11-2009, 02:21 AM
 
985 posts, read 2,597,638 times
Reputation: 736
Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001 View Post
I honestly think he is a drug abuser. But they won't tell you that.
LOL That's what I was thinking, as well.
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Old 09-11-2009, 07:09 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,058 posts, read 18,263,423 times
Reputation: 37120
Gee whiz, Jeep! Run like the wind!!!!!!!!!
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