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Likely a lot of the problems are related. Grossly overweight, controlling parent, lack of self esteem, poor judgement. I think you made a sound decision to keep him on the friend list...dont expect the calls to stop though.
Q1...hold out until you are ready. You will know when that is.
Q2...The stares you were receiving because you were on a date with a man well out of your league. That doesn't mean the relationship will not work. It just means you need to be prepared.
and wow! 17 pages already??!?!? What have I missed?
Q1...hold out until you are ready. You will know when that is.
Q2...The stares you were receiving because you were on a date with a man well out of your league. That doesn't mean the relationship will not work. It just means you need to be prepared.
and wow! 17 pages already??!?!? What have I missed?
A song title perhaps to illustrate: "I'm A Loser."
OMG, JeepGirl. I read the first several pages and was all warm and glowy for how great he sounded and that you two really hit it off, and then WHAM. What. The. Hell. That's just astonishing. I agree with Oildog: his issues are probably all tangled together, particularly because he doesn't live like an adult. Wow.
Honesty leads to greater intimacy. Honesty can lead to expectations though.
If you tell him you would consider moving the relationship forward in the condition that he loses weight; perhaps that might motivate him to pursue losing weight. However, it is important to note that this kind of decision and change his reason must be mostly because he wants to change for himself and not just change for you.
I would think being a friend, and creating a this friendship to encourage him to pursue his fitness goal would be a good start. Who knows what that friendship can lead to; but it does open plenty of opportunities to grow beyond the friendship.
OK...16 pages of what I imagined I'd read. Then the 37 year old controlled by his mommy post. I wouldn't call him a loser. He's probably doing everything he can considering his health issues. He has put it all on his mother. Does she know how much a personal trainer costs? I almost went into that profession due to all the fat people here in Oklahoma.
Anyway Ms. Jeepers, sorry to hear. Like someone here suggested, maybe wait until you move. I'd hook you up with a good friend who lives in West Palm Beach, but last I heard he is in a relationship; and I KNOW you are not Ms. Pity Party. I don't know. I guess my only advice is for you to further open your options and start looking at desperate married men!
Jeep,
I can tell you that I've kinda been through this..My now ex is 310lbs at 6'. I'm 5'4" at 130..
I'm sure people thought I was a paid date. However, to honestly say, he has the biggest, um, friend I've ever had. You never know, he may just rock your world..
And not to sound bad, but hey, I'm sure the guy knows he's not the prettiest fish in the sea so he'll work extra hard to keep you happy in everyway. Plus, you can engage in activities with him to help him lose weight...
Ok sorry I just realized there's 15 pages and obviously stuff happened that i didn't read..Sorry, move on..I think
Wow, just Wow. Do NOT throw that my way. WHEW! *leaving now frozen in state of shock*
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Ws me
