In regards to "Body Type".... (dating, wife, boyfriend)

[CT2MEwoodnutt]

Hi Group,


I've been mulling over a thought/question/concern pertaining to my current relationship with a wonderful Lady.


Now, some may think that this is a minor concern for a relationship...
- I feel that it's rather important [well, to me] and a key component to a successful relationship.


All my Life, I've noticed that most couples are usually about the same body type, height, weight etc.


My concern pertains to "Body Type".
"Body Type" is one of the main qualifiers when searching for a mate on all of the online dating sites.


'Body Types' would be classified as: slender, athletic/toned, normal, with a few extra pounds, etc.


Now, I am 5' 10" tall, and at present weight maybe 155Lbs. - (I've lost a good 10+ pounds over the last year, probably due to the untimely passing of my Dear Wife of 27 years, last March 29th. - I haven't eaten or slept properly ever since).


My Lady friend is 5' 8" tall, and of a 'stocky' build.
- I would never Dare to ask her weight [I value my Life too much...] and of course it wouldn't be proper.
- However, if I were to venture a guess, I'd say at least 160/170....God help me if it's MORE.


My late Irish Wife was a tiny little thing, of 5'4" and weighted about 105 dripping wet.
I used to be able to put my arm around her waist, and touch the other side of her.


I would have to say that all throughout my Life, every girlfriend that I ever had, [no more than 7] was roughly equivalent to my same body type, and I've never been with a Lady 'larger' than I.


With my new Lady friend, let's just say, "that Ain't gonna happen", and leave it there.


- Now my concern is for the Future...
IF/When we are both ready to become intimate, I have 'concerns' about that.


Am I being too crazy thinking about this???


- Please Folks, no jokes on this, ok?
- This truly is a concern for me.


Any comments/thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.


Thank You All,


- Watch out there today & tomorrow everybody, Winter Storm Quinn looks like a Doozie!


Queue the old Manfred Mann song, "The Mighty Quinn".


CT2MEwoodnutt


P.S. - Thank God for our Great Forum here, where one can be 'anonymous' and pose a question. I probably could not verbalize my thoughts here, face to face with someone, you know?

[timberline742]

What do you care about their weight? Or type?


You're attracted to them, or you're not. The entire package.


Keep it simple.


If someone is attractive to you and you think they're 140#, and you learn they're 180#, are you suddenly not going to be attracted? That doesn't make sense.


Keep it simple.

[RedZin]

Find a new girlfriend. You haven’t even had sex and you’re already assuming she won’t be good enough.

[CosmicTraveler21]

You shouldn't be concerned. You should be excited! Thick girls are fun to squeeze. I'm 5'6.5" and weigh 155 lbs and I've been called thick. Who knew.

[Sassybluesy]

If it concerns you, drop her like a hot potato so she can find someone who will love everything about her.

[HokieFan]

Originally Posted by CT2MEwoodnutt

With my new Lady friend, let's just say, "that Ain't gonna happen", and leave it there.

When you said ^ this, I assumed "that" = sex.

Originally Posted by CT2MEwoodnutt

IF/When we are both ready to become intimate, I have 'concerns' about that.

But then you said ^ this so I'm confused about what "ain't gonna happen".


Bottom line, OP - No one will blame you if you have a "type" - we all have a "type". But if you're not physically attracted to her, then you should stop dating her.

[The Dissenter]

Look, just hit it then make your evaluations about the experience and make your decisions then.

[greatblueheron]

Originally Posted by RedZin

Find a new girlfriend. You haven’t even had sex and you’re already assuming she won’t be good enough.

Maybe she should find a new boyfriend...

[JerZ]

If you're turned off then you are.

But please stop comparing her inch by inch and pound by pound to your late wife. I understand you are grieving and I am so very sorry for and sad about your loss. But she's already behind the 8 ball if she has to compete with her lover's deceased wife. NOBODY can compete with that because we always remember the good. And besides that, you had decades with your late wife.

If you don't like how this woman looks then that's that. I don't know what anyone can tell you about that. I am not sure what it is you're asking?

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by CT2MEwoodnutt

- However, if I were to venture a guess, I'd say at least 160/170....God help me if it's MORE.

Why "God help you"? Are you planning to lift her every day? What is your actual question about "body type"?

I know you have been through hell, but you will do a much better job of navigating the process of meeting new women if you try VERY VERY hard not to compare them to your late wife.

The connection is what matters, first and foremost, but if you have a hang-up about her physical self, that will blind you to the actual value of that connection you share.

This is a big deal, and you need to sort it out now before you break this woman's heart.