Married Men and their mistresses (movies, loving, kiss, child)

[Roaddog]

Originally Posted by itchy_nose

Cheating is a choice. I am not married but then I don't think its a married woman's fault if her husband cheats or vice versa. The wife may be the cause of the husband's unhappiness but not the wife's fault if he cheats. If the husband has a problem with his wife he should talk to her wife and thats it and not look for other women. Having a problem is not an excuse to cheat after all. Nobody forced the husbad to cheat. If things cannot be resolved, then meet other women after the divorce or separation.

I had to think about this and I was going to disagree, then I thought some more and now I agree, the spouse of the cheater may have contributed to a failing marrage but they didn't cause the other to cheat, that was their choice.

[dreamofmonterey]

Originally Posted by lyssa

I am involved with a married man. He's 35 and I am 27. Over the years, their marriage hasn't been the same. I would say that we're more emotionally attached rather than physically as he is thousands of miles away from me. We chat and cam alot as that it the only way we can communicate, apart from phone calls and smses.

His wife has emailed me a few times (not knowing that his husband and I are in love with one another) about their deaf son (who recently turned deaf, he's turning 2 this year and she is 9 yrs older than her husband) and also told me that they almost got divorced twice...

If that was the case then clearly something is wrong with the marriage right? What I don't get is, why is it hard for some married women to admit that it could be their fault that their partners are looking for other women? And it could be more than just sexual relationship?

You are thousands of miles away? How is that a relationship?. It takes two to end a marriage. He is not guiltless in this, most assuredly.

[MonaLisaVito]

Originally Posted by itchy_nose

I think married people have the option of discussing or settling things to save their marriage, after all there is a child and it can be worth saving. Maybe thats why they only almost divorced twice because they are trying to save their marriage?

Cheating is a choice. I am not married but then I don't think its a married woman's fault if her husband cheats or vice versa. The wife may be the cause of the husband's unhappiness but not the wife's fault if he cheats. If the husband has a problem with his wife he should talk to her wife and thats it and not look for other women. Having a problem is not an excuse to cheat after all. Nobody forced the husbad to cheat. If things cannot be resolved, then meet other women after the divorce or separation.

I agree with your statement above. I'm just throwing this out there for comments: what if a man is married and everything in the marriage is wonderful, except the wife doesn't want sex anymore (you woman know who you are). Many men are happy and don't want a divorce and don't want to cheat and don't want to break up the family, especially with kids, but they need sex - are they suppose to live without sex the rest of their lives. You can reverse the roles here to - the husband doesn't want sex anymore

I can't stand it when I hear my friends saying they only have sex with their husband once or twice a year? eek:

[clawson26]

Originally Posted by mjb68-19

I agree with your statement above. I'm just throwing this out there for comments: what if a man is married and everything in the marriage is wonderful, except the wife doesn't want sex anymore (you woman know who you are). Many men are happy and don't want a divorce and don't want to cheat and don't want to break up the family, especially with kids, but they need sex - are they suppose to live without sex the rest of their lives. You can reverse the roles here to - the husband doesn't want sex anymore

I can't stand it when I hear my friends saying they only have sex with their husband once or twice a year? eek:

I would say address the problem openly with the spouse and go to a therapist...Although I would advise against saying "sleep with me more or I'll have an affair." That isn't going to get the response you are looking for. Either way, if you are unhappy with a relationship you should fix it or leave. Cheating just sucks.

[lyssa]

Originally Posted by Roaddog

Have you ever met him or is this a internet love thing? Why would his wife e-mail you about their deaf son?

I have met him.

His wife emailed me because she had no one else to talk to without anything getting to his or family's ears. I think she may have gotten my email from one of his forwarded emails earlier on when things weren't as serious between him and I.

After that, I gave her a friend's email who deals with deaf kids and she told my friend that they almost got divorced twice and said a few things about her husband.

[lyssa]

Originally Posted by mjb68-19

I agree with your statement above. I'm just throwing this out there for comments: what if a man is married and everything in the marriage is wonderful, except the wife doesn't want sex anymore (you woman know who you are). Many men are happy and don't want a divorce and don't want to cheat and don't want to break up the family, especially with kids, but they need sex - are they suppose to live without sex the rest of their lives. You can reverse the roles here to - the husband doesn't want sex anymore

I can't stand it when I hear my friends saying they only have sex with their husband once or twice a year? eek:

His wife doesn't want to have sex anymore after the second child was born. Most of the time, he has to initiate it. Which I have asked quite a number of my male friends, after a while that gets boring. Sex or love-making should be something that both of them want...

I haven't been with him physically but we're really emotionally attached.

I also have a few friends who only have sex... once a year, yes... and I think that is very sad.

[floridadreamer]

Originally Posted by lyssa

What I don't get is, why is it hard for some married women to admit that it could be their fault that their partners are looking for other women? And it could be more than just sexual relationship?

Do I have to state the obvious? It takes TWO people to make a marriage work. The only ways it could be ALL her fault is if she is completely FRIGID, which of course she isn't since they have a child. Second- If she cheated on him first for no apparent reason. Third- if she is 100% focused on the needs of the child and the pooor guy is feeling neglected. (and this one is only partly her fault if he has chosen to talk to you about it, rather than his own WIFE!!!

If this guys is so intent on NOT leaving his wife, and yet you are basicly in love with him, where does that leave you? Are you ok being just an internet lover for the rest of your life? You are 27 after all....

I actually feel really sorry for YOU. Because one of things three can happen here. He leaves his wife for you. He decides to stay with his wife, but carry on with you. Or he can divorce his wife, and decide he needs someone he can actually TOUCH. So again, where would that leave you?

You are very NAIVE for a 27 year old.

[floridadreamer]

Originally Posted by lyssa

His wife doesn't want to have sex anymore after the second child was born. Most of the time, he has to initiate it. Which I have asked quite a number of my male friends, after a while that gets boring. Sex or love-making should be something that both of them want...

There are things that can be done if she has low sex drive. He obviously hasn't given up completely on his marriage. For me personally, the less I have sex, the less I want it. So, it sounds to me like it's not all her. So what if he usually has to initiate it. Is she willing once he does that? My husband does things like waiting until 10 o'clock at night to walk the dog, then comes back and showers and shaves. By the time he comes to bed, I am half asleep and he wonders why I'm not so into it. What is his wife doing when he is online with you?? Putting the kids to bed? Waiting in bed for him?

Seriously, don't you want someone that's all YOURS?

[still hangin]

I rarely have sex with my husband. I keep telling him it's going to fall off, but he won't listen. He had an A one year after we were married and stayed in his A for a year. BTW, I've only been married 5 years. Do the math, it really, really sucks. Yes, we talked about cheating in length before we got married and neither of would tolerate it and guess what? We're still working at our marriage. We love each other and he made a horrible mistake. One that has changed my life and our marriage forever. I love him, BUT, I'm still not 100% committed to this marriage. If I become stronger emotionally, which I'm doing as every day passes, who knows, I may still walk. With that being said, I'm where I want to be for now. The lack of sex? Well, what am I suppose to do? Leave. Can't do it, not right now anyway.

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by bellestaroftexas

it doesnt matter where i work-that's not the point. i am just asking if yall think that men are not meant to be monogamous?
is there any point in expecting a man to be faithful to you, if you are in a committed relationship, or should one just expect them to cheat since it is not in their nature to be monogamous?

If you receive a negative comment...don't listen...some of them have been rude and very mean....forget about it...I know your trying to get a males honest perspective, and if they don't get it, that's their narrow mindedness, not yours...Mainebrokerman had the best reply, and he is absolutely on target...

Hugs

Creme