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Darth, you have to realize that the original poster, Mr. Cat, is going through separation/ divorce w/ his wife, who admitted to some sort of cheating. So....
Anything that has to do w/ girls' night out will become suspect for Mr. Cat. Understandable.
Thank you sms. Mr. Cat, you have my sympathies re your situation, I can understand your thinking.
My bud from NY's wife got invited to a girl's night out. She's the only one working while my bud is at home looking for a job and watching their 4 kids. His wife is a little on the selfish side (just like mine) and he has been stressing out big time and now the wif wants to go out and have fun.
I told him that he shouldn't have a problem with it and ask the wife when is she going out. He said as soon as her girl friend and her sisters find a babysitter.
I told him well, once they find a babysitter tell the wife to take the kids to this babystter so he could have some time by himself. Because her selfishness and thinking about herself instead of actually them going out by themselves, she preffers her girl friends over him.
He told me she got pissed off at him and I told him not to worry about that, it is just a manisfestation of her selfishness. I also told im a few stories of girl's night out and what usually happens.
Was this the right advise?
Bad advice........
You either trust her or you don't.........and a woman(or man) who is going to cheat is going to cheat. Chances are, if she is into cheating at all, she already is. So that becomes a moot point and being fearful of her cheating simply shows his insecurity.
I would have told him to volunteer to babysit ALL the kids so ALL the girls can go out and have some fun. that does a couple of things. 1) it shows that he is supportive of his wife. 2) it makes it possible to ask the other women to babysit his kids so he and his wife can also go out and have some fun.
Then I would have told him to ask his wife out for a few dates, using the sisters and friends as babysitters.
Or if he's friendly with her friends' SOs, have them over as well. The men can play games or whatever with the kids and hang out a bit at the same time.
I don't know about most marriges but since I met my wife we never had to go "outside" to feel comfort or relief from every day life. Her and my parents always sought comfort as a married couple and did not have to go to bars and drink with their friends to feel relief. In fact the moment my wife comes home we jump into bed, have kinky sex and then spend a good while talking about our day and expressing our love for each other.
sure he has the kids all day, but she works all day.
she needs time to herself, as does he. they need coordinate schedules and he should not incur more costs because he wants to party the same night she is.
its about communication and coordination.
that way, one day, they can be out TOGETHER.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Cat
My bud from NY's wife got invited to a girl's night out. She's the only one working while my bud is at home looking for a job and watching their 4 kids. His wife is a little on the selfish side (just like mine) and he has been stressing out big time and now the wif wants to go out and have fun.
I told him that he shouldn't have a problem with it and ask the wife when is she going out. He said as soon as her girl friend and her sisters find a babysitter.
I told him well, once they find a babysitter tell the wife to take the kids to this babystter so he could have some time by himself. Because her selfishness and thinking about herself instead of actually them going out by themselves, she preffers her girl friends over him.
He told me she got pissed off at him and I told him not to worry about that, it is just a manisfestation of her selfishness. I also told im a few stories of girl's night out and what usually happens.
Was this the right advise?
My bud from NY's wife got invited to a girl's night out. She's the only one working while my bud is at home looking for a job and watching their 4 kids. His wife is a little on the selfish side (just like mine) and he has been stressing out big time and now the wif wants to go out and have fun.
I told him that he shouldn't have a problem with it and ask the wife when is she going out. He said as soon as her girl friend and her sisters find a babysitter.
I told him well, once they find a babysitter tell the wife to take the kids to this babystter so he could have some time by himself. Because her selfishness and thinking about herself instead of actually them going out by themselves, she preffers her girl friends over him.
He told me she got pissed off at him and I told him not to worry about that, it is just a manisfestation of her selfishness. I also told im a few stories of girl's night out and what usually happens.
Was this the right advise?
Mr. Cat, no offense, but I'm not sure you're unbiased enough at the moment to give marriage advice.
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