Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Saw this topic and just wanted to jump in. I am 31 and have no desire for children. I'd try looking for a man who has already had kids. Maybe the pressure will be off you I understand completely about the Southern "get married young and procreate" thing. I live in Georgia and sometimes wonder if I'm not in the minority. Women over 25 (sometimes over 21) who haven't got at least one child are almost rare. I'd also be open to dating Yankee guys...as one poster suggested. But I kind of do like you do and feel guys out about having kids. I tell them I suffer from depression and that I don't want kids who will inherit depression (not a falsehood, as I do take wellbutrin). I think the best option is to consider step-mothering/guys who have had kids.
My wife and I are in our 30's have decided not to have children. When we 1st met we both told each other that we didn't want to have children. Our friends kept saying that once we got married and bought a house our minds would change.
Well, next month we will be married for 3 years and we still have no desire to have any children, In fact we now have stronger feeling's not to have them then when we 1st met and had discussion's about the topic.
Ever since I can remember I never wanted any children, my wife has the same feelings as I do. We are not mean and uncaring people as some people would think since we do not have any children. In fact my wife is the most caring and loving woman I have ever known.
We have lost some friends and some of our family have alienated us, since we don't have children. Seems like we have more friends that are gay couples and retiree's, lol.
I'm sure you will find a man that has the same outlook on life as you, don't give up!
Would you prefer someone who is single with 1 kid but not necessarily going to stay with us? Let me know if that appeals to you then here is a little description of the man who is interested in settling down with you. 33, single, Kenyan(read Black African), super skilled computer expert, entrepreneur(read some days you might do without butter because I need to re-plough my profits back into the business). Not interested in kids too at the moment or later. Only my condition is that I need to relocate or you do. my email address [email]greatlovestar@gmail.com[/email]
I haven't been on here for a long time but I felt the need to come back and rant a little. I am a 32 year old, attractive, fit, intelligent, ambitious interesting, and affectionate woman who has her sh*t together. I know that I make a great girlfriend and would be a great wife.
I just can't seem to meet anyone who doesn't want to have kids but who is looking for a long-term, committed relationship. Every guy I've ever dated has wanted kids and I have always tell them early on that I don't think I do or don't know. After stating this, guys are still generally interested in continuing to date me but eventually they dump me and at least one of the major reasons is because I don't know that I want to have kids. And it always seems easy for the guy to let me go because he claims that he could never form an emotional connection with me because he knew there was a dealbreaker from the beginning.
It's really heartbreaking when this happens. It's unbelievably difficult to find someone who I'm attracted to and someone who has his sh*t together. Finding someone who that I'm attracted to, who has his sh*t together, AND is ok with me not necessarily wanting to have kids is IMPOSSIBLE. Having kids is not 100% out of the picture but I don't want to promise something that won't necessarily happen. The truth of the matter is, I haven't gotten far enough in a relationship with someone where we thought we may want to spend our lives together so the decision to have kids or not is moot.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I've tried Internet dating A LOT, tried networking through friends/coworkers, am very active in the community, etc. I meet people all the time but never anyone who doesn't want kids and who is interested in getting married (in general, not to me). The only thing I haven't tried is dating someone much older but I just don't think that I should have to date someone 10-20 years older. We don't have much in common and I look very young for my age so I would feel like I was dating my Dad.
My dating life for the past few years has been horrendous and I've gotten my heart broken several times now and I really can't stand to go through that again. I see people on this site all the time who claim they don't want to have kids. Where are you?
Why are you after the younger men? I think you'll have much better chances going after guys older than you.
Why are you after the younger men? I think you'll have much better chances going after guys older than you.
I'm not necessarily looking for men younger than me. I just want someone in my general age group. I'm 32 so that could mean anywhere from maybe 26-38. There is some flexibility in that if I find someone who I'm really compatible with but I've found that in general, this age range works for me. When I say "younger men" in the title of the thread, I just mean men who are not middle-aged. I'm sure I could find a 50 year old who doesn't want to have kids, however, that is definitely too old for me hands down. Dating someone who is closer to my parents' ages than my own is just creepy.
I have actually settled for "less than I think I deserve" many, many times. Guess what, those guys wanted kids, too, and they still dumped me (I've dumped people, too).
I have dated a ton of guys who I found physically unattractive because I was trying not to be superficial. Those guys ended up still being a&&holes, believe it or not. Hey, if I'm gonna end up dating an a&&hole, anyway, I may as well go for one that I am interested in seeing naked (trying to have a sense of humor about this)!
An interesting viewpoint that is counter to my experience but likely quite valid for you.
I know a lot of men - some a$$holes, most not. The a$$holes are invariably married (or divorced) and I always assumed that it was something about the institution of marriage that made them that way. However, I now see that they are likely just more attractive to women than other men.
One type you might look for, but one that is likely becoming increasingly rare, (with so many only children) is the type of man who has experience in looking after younger siblings. My parents decided to stoke up their love life when I was entering my adolescence and I spent my teen years babysitting. Diapers, cooking dinner and keeping an eye on them, etc. etc. was second nature.
Even after I went to college, my parents would eagerly await my return each spring so they could go on a long holiday. However, unlike most my age, I had no illusions about the responsibilities of child rearing but it held no terror for me, either. I could have gone either way and would have gladly deferred the decision to any women who caught my interest.
Finally this era ended when I came home from my summer job to find a couple of my sister's classmates "stoking their ardour" in my parents bedroom and realized that it was time to end this free babysitting service and force my parents to fulfill their responsibilities. That fall, I got my own place and lived there year round.
I have the same problem that you do, except I'm a guy. I'm a 22 year old man who DOES NOT want kids, but can't seem to find women who feel the same. I'm not "on the fence" either. The thought of having children disgusts me, it's something I won't even consider. However, I would like to get married at some point. I think this issue is common among childfree people, in that it's so hard to find other people (especially of the opposite sex) who share the same viewpoints.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I understand completely about the Southern "get married young and procreate" thing. I live in Georgia and sometimes wonder if I'm not in the minority. Women over 25 (sometimes over 21) who haven't got at least one child are almost rare. I'd also be open to dating Yankee guys...as one poster suggested. But I kind of do like you do and feel guys out about having kids. I tell them I suffer from depression and that I don't want kids who will inherit depression (not a falsehood, as I do take wellbutrin). I think the best option is to consider step-mothering/guys who have had kids.
