Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
O gosh some people need to educate themselves on a womans anatomy. LOL...I can only speak on personal experience, But, for me...it was much better...and has even gotten better over the last 18 months. I'd say at 45, it's the best EVER!!
Caw. Your husbands reaction makes no sense to me, but then I don't know your history. You might try some honest communication, but that's very hard to get in marriage.
Thanks, I did try, before the surgery and continuously since to get him to tell me what is really on his mind, and how he felt about it before and after I had the surgery. He insists that didn't matter, what was important that I got well. He still says that isn't what the problem is. All I know is that everything changed from that point forward. Sometimes I feel like he feels he is living in a relationship like a couple we know. (the husband came out as a transexual - hormones everything - and yet they are still married) I don't know, just makes me feel like a freak ya know?
I had a hysterectomy (complete) in 2005. After 8 weeks I was told I could return to normal sexual activity. I was more than ready. Pain and excessive bleeding gone, I was ready to go. My husband and I went for our first night after the surgery. He couldn't maintain an erection and gave up - permanently. Six years later, nothing, no sex, no affection, nothing you would expect in a relationship. Did my body change to him? Or does he now see me as a nonsexual freak? I have asked him and he says that isn't the reason...why did this start after I had the hysterectomy. Are there any men out there who could chime in their side of the story?
Did you enter menopause after surgery? Ive heard that some women do and some dont. If you did, that might explain your husbands lack of attraction.
Thanks, I did try, before the surgery and continuously since to get him to tell me what is really on his mind, and how he felt about it before and after I had the surgery. He insists that didn't matter, what was important that I got well. He still says that isn't what the problem is. All I know is that everything changed from that point forward. Sometimes I feel like he feels he is living in a relationship like a couple we know. (the husband came out as a transexual - hormones everything - and yet they are still married) I don't know, just makes me feel like a freak ya know?
I don't get it? Maybe you arent giving off phermones that you were before your surgery? Or maybe hubby has a fertility hang up, or it just coinsided with his mid life down turn. I have had relationships with a couple of women that had hysterectomeys and both said their enjoyment level was through the roof. I know mine was. Maybe he needs some Viagra!
Caw58 I think the problem is if they remove your cervix too then the top of the vagina has nothing to support it. And it is just this pocket flapping around in your body that is not offering enough tightness or support around your partner's penis hence his inabilty to maintain an erection. The same thing happened with a couple I know. I also read online somewhere of a man complaining that his wife didn't feel the same.
Last edited by pumpkins; 05-05-2012 at 12:00 AM..
Reason: typo
Well, this depends. These things always do, don't they?
My ex had a hysterectomy and sex changed. Of course, there was less of an inclination by parts to lubricate by themselves, and the body is suddenly in menopause with all the other symptoms, hot flashes, etc. Our sex life petered out post hysterectomy and we divorced years later, but we had other issues, so it's hard to put a finger on the real causal factors. She tried some hormonal gels that made her quite frisky, but she seemed to resent that her drive could be manipulated by a lotion, and she did mention fears that the long-term effect of hormonal therapy is not known (or at is, if not untested, at least untrusted, which can be a buzz-kill).In fact, I was not too excited about coming in contact with the gels myself --- I can't help but think about the current TV ads for MALE testotorone cremes that warn sternly that women should NOT touch the areas where the cream is applied lest they begin to grow facial hair, etc.
I suspect that sex drive changes may be tempered by the health of the underlying relationship. My wife and I married in our fifties, and our sex life is as active as is our happy, loving marriage .. I know that post-menopause does NOT mean post-sexuality. In fact, my wife said her sex drive increased during and after menopause, as reported by other women in this thread.
I had a hysterectomy (complete) in 2005. After 8 weeks I was told I could return to normal sexual activity. I was more than ready. Pain and excessive bleeding gone, I was ready to go. My husband and I went for our first night after the surgery. He couldn't maintain an erection and gave up - permanently. Six years later, nothing, no sex, no affection, nothing you would expect in a relationship. Did my body change to him? Or does he now see me as a nonsexual freak? I have asked him and he says that isn't the reason...why did this start after I had the hysterectomy. Are there any men out there who could chime in their side of the story?
The problem is your husband's. Something isn't right in his noggin.
But I'd like to take a minute to explain a few things, because people seem a bit confused on this thread.
It is possible to have a hysterectomy and not go through menopause as long as they leave your ovaries.
You can also go through menopause without having a hysterectomy if they take your ovaries (oophorectomy) and leave the uterus. However, usually if you have your ovaries removed, they encourage you to get the uterus removed, too, because, as my own surgeon said, "The only thing it can do now is get cancer."
The uterus has nothing to do with manufacturing hormones, nor does it have anything to do with your ability to have an orgasm. Some women feel contractions in their uterus during orgasm, but that is just an "extra" because the bulk of an orgasm is felt in the vagina and [URL="http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Perenium"]perenium[/URL] owing to the usual forms of stimulation (clitoral, G-spot stimulation, whatever else gets you going).
Your sex drive may mellow out if they take your ovaries, in that it might take you longer to "get started," and you may be a little bit drier BUT--and this is really, really important--if you had a good sex life and a good relationship before your surgery, there is really no physical reason not to have a good sex life and a good relationship after your surgery. The only time it could be physically troublesome is if you've had cancer and they take your cervix and the top part of your vagina. Then you might have to go slowly and stretch the vagina back out.
Some women report decreased sensation in the vagina and the general vicinity for about six months to a year after their surgeries, either straight hysterectomy or hysterectomy with oophorectomy, but that has more to do with damaged or severed nerves from the surgery itself (and sometimes the skill of the surgeon, depending on if he or she severs a lot of them). The thing is, those nerves regenerate. So unless your surgeon really botched the surgery or you have abnormal scarring, the sensitivity will eventually come back.
I went through it all a few years ago, owing to massive problems with [URL="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/endometriosis/DS00289"]endometriosis[/URL]. Just had everything taken out. And I still want and enjoy the nookie with my other half. Indeed, in some ways it's better now that my innards aren't all stuck together, I'm not in intense pain for 10 days a month, and we're both glad we don't have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy.
The problem is your husband's. Something isn't right in his noggin.
But I'd like to take a minute to explain a few things, because people seem a bit confused on this thread.
It is possible to have a hysterectomy and not go through menopause as long as they leave your ovaries.
You can also go through menopause without having a hysterectomy if they take your ovaries (oophorectomy) and leave the uterus. However, usually if you have your ovaries removed, they encourage you to get the uterus removed, too, because, as my own surgeon said, "The only thing it can do now is get cancer."
The uterus has nothing to do with manufacturing hormones, nor does it have anything to do with your ability to have an orgasm. Some women feel contractions in their uterus during orgasm, but that is just an "extra" because the bulk of an orgasm is felt in the vagina and perenium owing to the usual forms of stimulation (clitoral, G-spot stimulation, whatever else gets you going).
Your sex drive may mellow out if they take your ovaries, in that it might take you longer to "get started," and you may be a little bit drier BUT--and this is really, really important--if you had a good sex life and a good relationship before your surgery, there is really no physical reason not to have a good sex life and a good relationship after your surgery. The only time it could be physically troublesome is if you've had cancer and they take your cervix and the top part of your vagina. Then you might have to go slowly and stretch the vagina back out.
Some women report decreased sensation in the vagina and the general vicinity for about six months to a year after their surgeries, either straight hysterectomy or hysterectomy with oophorectomy, but that has more to do with damaged or severed nerves from the surgery itself (and sometimes the skill of the surgeon, depending on if he or she severs a lot of them). The thing is, those nerves regenerate. So unless your surgeon really botched the surgery or you have abnormal scarring, the sensitivity will eventually come back.
I went through it all a few years ago, owing to massive problems with endometriosis. Just had everything taken out. And I still want and enjoy the nookie with my other half. Indeed, in some ways it's better now that my innards aren't all stuck together, I'm not in intense pain for 10 days a month, and we're both glad we don't have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy.
Great post, great info - hope those who are less informed will take the time to learn something
Don't even get me started about endometriosis
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. Maybe he needs some Viagra!
