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My love is not unconditional and my Fiance knows that. I suspect he feels the same. I love him because of the man he is , his qualities are what attracted me to him. Should those turn out to have been some kind of chimera then my love would vanish pretty quickly as he would not be the same man I feel in love with.
For example should he cheat on me, molest children , rape anyone, turn out to be a racist bigot, kill for pleasure ( animals or humans) then I would have no compunction in showing him the door because I fell in love and love a man who is none of those things.
How could my love be unconditional ? I might as well have fallen in love with any other man . But I fell in love with him for whom I believe him to be as well as many other aspects of his personality.
I have never understood that concept of unconditional love. It makes no sense to me. How can anyone love a paedophile or a rapist ? It is beyond me. Simply by the act of loving someone like that unconditioanlly you IMO condone their wrong-doing.
I would feel the same about a child if I had any. I could never love a child who was in my eyes evil. My love would be killed by the seriousness and horror of the crimes and only loathing and hatred would remain.
Assault of any type on anyone/animal
Cheating
Parasite person (does nothing/expects everything)
Theft
Chemical problem that got to the point of affecting my life (calling from the drunk tank etc)
My unforgiveable would be doing something very wrong to one of my kids.
Speaking of parent's who do. . .
Saw a mind-blowing article a few days ago that I was reading about parent's who steal their child(rens) identity for credit purposes. Well, most of us know it's a huge issue with some parent's doing this since creditors cannot verify age off of a credit report via the Credit Bureaus when it's run. By the time this one man (who is now in his late 30's, I believe) reached the age of 18 and went to apply for his first student loan that was rejected, he discovered that his father racked up $2.5 MILLION bucks of debt on this poor guys credit. Home loans, auto loans, repossession, unpaid utilities and so much more - all the end result after doing it all through the years. Aside from mental/physical abuse in today's society- it is absolutely stomach turning to know how a parent could just so selfishly and without a conscious set out to destroy a kids life like that.
What you said made me think of pissants like that.
There are few things that would make me break up with someone, but seeing as how I love to analyze things, I'd be more concerned about WHY someone did the act as opposed to doing the actual act.
Cheating, for example; it would be virtually impossible for me to take back a cheater, but if I found out they were cheating because I wasn't there for them when they needed me, I would forgive them. I'm not saying cheating is OK in some circumstances, what I mean is if I found out I was partially to blame, I'd have motivation to change myself so that it doesn't happen again. Mr. Cheater would be out the door, but at least I have something to work on should another Mr. Banker come along...
Ok, this idea is actually stolen from another thread.....
It's said in marriage you should love someone unconditionally. Stand by your mate thru think and thin....but we all know there's somethings that just can't be forgiven.....
What are your things.....
Mine would be molesting a child.
Ha ha! I love when ideas come from my threads!
For me:
Molesting a child
Raping someone
Killing an innocent child (unless it's an accident)
Physical and emotional abuse
Everything else I can and will forgive.
My husband hid something from me for a long time. He was hiding a secret about himself for a year and a half of us being together for the fear of me leaving him. He was crazy to hide this from me. I love him so much, this wouldn't change a thing.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
Love may be unconditional, relationships aren't. You don't just stop loving someone because they betrayed you. Of course, some things will (hopefully) turn you off completely - like molesting a child.
That would be a dealbreaker. Abuse, addicition and infidelity are as well.
I think it was in the Religion forum where someone actually said a wife should stand by her husband even if he abused her, because marriage is a union under God. God will just have to get over it.
No, not God, people with a twisted perception of God.
Being a child molester, serial killer, arsonist...you know, along those lines...
It might just be me but arson seems a little out of place in your list.
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God will just have to get over it.
