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to sum it up it simple terms often a "nice guy" translates into being pu**ywhooped for her.He wants her so badly and so afraid of loosing her that he does everything he can to please her and show how good he is and by doing so he assumes she'll see what a catch he is.
Which often backfires,she looses respect,sees him as spineless and desperate and annoying and unchallenging.
And some men where raised to be respectful and a gentleman and honest and sincere and when he gets dumped after being all that because of that and right to very end he was under the impression he was doing right he is left wondering WTF happened?
I've dated plenty of the ones that appreared to be nice, but once I got to know them, they weren't so nice. I think I'd rather have bad a** biker that knows how to treat a lady.
I just wanted to start a thread on the "nice guy" that people think finish last (sorry about title) little sleepy.....
All my life since I was very young girls told me I was too nice...
guess they missed getting B%%%% slapped I don't know
anyways....It's always the same girls going for the tough guy or the cool guy and I just want to hear from the men...are you one of those nice guys that did finish last...and girls are you one of those girls that let that "nice guy" get away and are now regretting it.
As for me I did "finish as a nice guy but not last"
Great wife, no awesome wife beautiful on the outside and beautiful on the inside. I have a beautiful 10 year old son with and a nice life...so I'm glad I was a nice person growing up, believe me my wife is very thankful for that...so let's hear it...
Yes.
I was always the nice guy.
"too nice." Like you said.
I was told this to me by many women. I guess I lacked enough confidence to stand up for myself. If someone was mad and started taking it out on me well, I would take it. I was just that nice guy.
Later on after being burned quite badly in a relationship with a crazy women I vowed I would never be involved with someone like her again. I didn't date anyone for years and years. I was a mess. After the dust settled I saw the treatment I was in. It made me angry to know I allowed myself to get treated like that.
Well, I married a girl I thought was really nice. Well, she took down the cardboard mask of smiles and laughter to anger and mean faces.
I realized I am not a good judgement of character when it comes to relationships.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
I agree. If you found a great woman to marry, then you didn't finish last. And I agree that complaining about the women who don't go for nice guys is pointless. If you're a nice guy and a woman would rather be with "the bad boy" or "the cool guy", then she's obviously not the right guy for you. Maybe she'll be happy with that other guy or maybe she'll get hurt and regret passing you up. Even if it's the latter, so what? She could come crawling back saying she made a mistake passing you up, but you shouldn't waste your time on someone on like that. The nice guy label is often equated with being wimpy. Too many nice guys who DO have confidence worry that their niceness will cause them to end up alone. But I say, be proud of being a nice guy, as long as you're not a wimp who lets women walk all over you.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking
to sum it up it simple terms often a "nice guy" translates into being pu**ywhooped for her.He wants her so badly and so afraid of loosing her that he does everything he can to please her and show how good he is and by doing so he assumes she'll see what a catch he is.
Which often backfires,she looses respect,sees him as spineless and desperate and annoying and unchallenging.
And some men where raised to be respectful and a gentleman and honest and sincere and when he gets dumped after being all that because of that and right to very end he was under the impression he was doing right he is left wondering WTF happened?
Man oh man, I can't believe how 'nice guy' is translated by so many. Amazing. My man is a nice guy and he's very decisive and take charge, which I love in a man. But he knows when to compromise and when not to.
He's not a push over by any means. Nice guys have got to be the most stereotyped among men. What about nice girls? I've over-heard it said countless times that a girl/woman was 'too nice' for him. What does that mean? She doesn't put out?
LOL. That's what I was thinking. If you're walking all over someone, I think that says more about you than it does about the person who you're walking over. And it makes you the problem for doing so.
What about nice girls? I've over-heard it said countless times that a girl/woman was 'too nice' for him. What does that mean? She doesn't put out?
That would be a good example.And yes my explanation of a "nice guy" is often what it really means.I know because I fell into the trap before and too many times in my youth friends said to me "you are too trusting,you are too Mayberry,you are too nice".
I think women just want the drama of a guy they can't control or acts like a jerk because it gives them an agenda, something to work towards, to change the man.
I'm very confident, I see asking women out as very natural as I'm in sales, I ask out businesses all the time. But when I date them I'm respectful, I'm kind, I'm easy going, and I just try to be funny and avoid heavy subjects/confrontations early in the dating process.
However, I do get labeled by girls who decide that they aren't interested in me and they tell me I'm "really nice to them" or that I'm "a nice guy", eventhough I haven't done them any favors and I haven't bought them a single gift (not even flowers). Sorry, but there's plenty of time to shower her with gifts and favors in the longer relationship and marriage, I refuse to do it while dating.
You know what I do to girls who say that to me? I stop dating them. A girl told me that after sex once while we were dating and I sent her packing. Told her to get her clothes on and leave, I won't have it.
If a girl is telling you you're "nice" then it's a bad omen. Either she's trying to let on to you that you're not her type and that she's about to dump you. Or even worse: she's got major baggage and has been treated poorly by men in the past, therefore has low self-esteem and can't accept being treated respectfully. Either way, it's bad for the guy, gotta get rid of her as soon as possible.
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