here's an interesting one for you ! long post !

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by andreaspercheron

Counseling. She obviously has some past life issues that she is carrying around and until she unburdens herself of those and learns how to escape the past, she will always have this fear of commitment.

My initial thoughts, exactly.

[RobE]

i think her past is coming back to haunt her, and is threatening to destroy her future.
i'm not convinced that 6 weeks is long enough to overcome the scars of some 10 years of serious abuse.

You nailed it. She needs therapy to get her feet back on solid ground.

The thing for you to do, too, is to make sure you're not being codependent by trying to rescue her since you had also personally known the horrors of abuse.

But that aside, this is going to take a while and it could be that part of the therapy process will be putting her entire past behind her, including your relationship with her, which obviously left her with a lot of conflicting feelings. So my advice: move on and just use the relationship as a learning experience, even as hard emotionally it may be to put her out of your mind or heart. At least she had the guts to end it now rather than get married because she felt almost obligated to and then change her mind somewhere down the road after more drama ensued.

Sorry this didn't work out, but relationships can be odd things. Just be sure you give yourself enough time to work this out in your own mind before you get enmeshed in a relationship with someone else.

[MaggieZ]

good post RobE!!