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Boundaries just change with the ages. A couple of hundred years ago, the sheets from your wedding night would have been paraded around in front of your guests so everyone could see that you were a virgin.
Boundaries just change with the ages. A couple of hundred years ago, the sheets from your wedding night would have been paraded around in front of your guests so everyone could see that you were a virgin.
Perhaps, but parents inserting themselves into their offspring's relationships are as old as history and it's no less problematic. You'd think we'd learn something.
In some ways that's true, but do you really know that this mother "inserted herself" into the relationship? Are you sure she isn't welcomed with open arms? You said the three of them seemed happy. Is the mother being meddlesome or something?
Other cultures think we are very strange for moving away from our parents.
In some ways that's true, but do you really know that this mother "inserted herself" into the relationship? Are you sure she isn't welcomed with open arms? You said the three of them seemed happy. Is the mother being meddlesome or something?
Other cultures think we are very strange for moving away from our parents.
True, but we're Americans, dammit. Haha.
Seriously, I had an assistant who married a guy who was a real mama's boy. For a wedding present, his parents bought them a house two doors down. The mother would always be over at their house doing things like exchange winter clothes for summer clothes, rearranging the kitchen, and driving out to the airport to pick him up.
I think it's weird if mother goes on all vacations with them. Even if I loved the woman a lot, that is overkill. I would prefer to vacation alone with my spouse but if there was some special occasion taking a relative along would be fine. If I were the mom no I would not go on all those trips with them, even if they asked, just as a sign of respect for their relationship. I've learned more about this as I've gotten older and see how people don't want to let go of their adult kids and let them have their own lives.
In some ways that's true, but do you really know that this mother "inserted herself" into the relationship? Are you sure she isn't welcomed with open arms? You said the three of them seemed happy. Is the mother being meddlesome or something?
Other cultures think we are very strange for moving away from our parents.
No, I NEVER said the three of them seemed happy. A whole lot of other people here were speculating that they were! I've never met the woman's mother. The husband is very quiet and I don't know him well at all. The woman herself is the assertive one in the marriage.
And, yes, any MIL who goes on every vacation with her daughter and son-in-law is "inserting herself," whether her daughter invited her or not. A caring mum would say no at least on occasion.
No, I NEVER said the three of them seemed happy. A whole lot of other people here were speculating that they were!
You're right, you didn't say they were happy. You said this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by teatime
She just wants her mother to come along and she says her husband doesn't mind.
After you said that, why would I assume there was some kind of problem with the relationship? Speaking of speculating, now you're insinuating that the husband is a henpecked doormat with a rude, intrusive mother-in-law. Why did you even ask the question, "Is this weird?" when you are clearly convinced that it is rude and unhealthy? You should have titled it, "Oh my God, you guys, let me tell you about these weirdos I know" and left it at that.
An acquaintance of mine (woman in her late 40s) takes her mother on nearly every vacation with her and her husband. The woman isn't frail and doesn't live with them, so it's not some sort of health or safety issue. She just wants her mother to come along and she says her husband doesn't mind.
I think this is weird and I've told her so. I couldn't even imagine my mum going on vacation with me and my husband, if I was married. She simply wouldn't allow it. In fact, my folks paid for a vacation for me and my former SO so we could get away and have bonding time and they watched our son!
Why on Earth would a woman take her mother with them on vacation? And why would a husband put up with that?
My mom went on vacay with me and my bf; I also took my 2 nephews. We had a great time and I didn't get stuck doing boring "guy" stuff like I would have if we'd gone alone and he didn't get stuck shoe shopping with me. I guess it depends on what type of trip it is - if it's going to be a romantic getaway then no I wouldn't take her but if we're just going to relax and have fun then "Hey Ma, pack your bags." I love my bf but being around him all day every day would not be much of a vacation for me so it was nice having my mom there and when we did wanna have some alone time - we had a free baby-sitter.
I never got the concept of going away to have sex. If I'm going to spend $1,000 + to go on vacation I'd better be doing something other than getting the sheets sweaty; I could have done that at home for free.
Last edited by nat_at772; 09-22-2009 at 08:10 AM..
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