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First of all you have the power to stay or leave, not your partying wife. She is never going to be the wife you want her to be. Just make a break and marry the perfect girl you are dating. She thinks she has it great because she gets to have her cake and it it too. Make life plans with the other girl, see an attorney and divorce the other one and find happiness. The longer you wait, the longer you put off your real life. Your relationship is not a normal married one. Remeber John McEnroe and his crazy wife. He did not stand for it, why should you!
Your relationship with your wife IS poison. Remove her from your life. Delete phone numbers, email addresses, facebook and don't take her calls. If you don't think you can leave a phone ringing and not answer it, change your number.
Instead concentrate on your life. Set goals and keep to them. Keep this other gf that you have, she could be fun. If you don't think you can handle a serious relationship, don't, just have fun.
I think you feel some euphoria because you feel as selfishly empowered as your wife. You finally have something in common! So I could see how f-ing over the woman you were seeing feels powerful. You're not the fool--someone else is. You two are newly bonded in your activity of 'dissing' someone secretly! How will you follow it up, though? Will you continue to date others until they take you seriously, then betray them over and over? I don't know, it sounds like a really shaky foundation for a trusting, stable realationship. You aren't closer to what you want. You've just degraded yourself to your wife's level.
End it now. Neither of you has any real chance of moving on this way. And if one of you manages to, the other will surely be devastated once they are cut off.
I met this one girl and oH my god, she was all i ever wanted, so we started hanging out, it got i guess a lil serious.
You might have just lost the love of your life! If the new girl was all you ever wanted why did you distance yourself and let her go? For some psycho chick that pulls your strings?
She doesn't pull you back in, you allow that, she can't do it if you don't want it to happen! As long as you stay in that situation you know what to expect.
You might have just lost the love of your life! If the new girl was all you ever wanted why did you distance yourself and let her go? For some psycho chick that pulls your strings?
She doesn't pull you back in, you allow that, she can't do it if you don't want it to happen! As long as you stay in that situation you know what to expect.
Exactly! It's called co-dependency. The guy and his ex NEED each other in a very toxic way.
True, but its sad, because i figure if thats all she wants me for, ill use her for the same thing! If it was up to me, she would get her priority straight, and we could continue our marriage and raise out kids!
I'm sorry man. This is not a marriage. This to me sounds like 5th grader material.
Marriage is not like this. You work things out.
3 months?!?!?! Come on. You guys have to grow up and take this commitment seriously or move on.
This whole thing is a mess. 1st: She's not your ex until you're divorced. 2nd: Separation isn't a license to screw around until you get back together. 3rd: You say 'I want to settle down'. What??? You're married aren't you??? Why are you seeing other women then??? You and your wife are playing chicken by screwing around on each other (I'm assuming she is, you've already admitted it) until one of you blinks and goes through with a divorce. Get divorced already before one of you receives the gift that keeps on giving and gives it to the other one. Sheesh.
This doesn't sound like love - it's a power play.
Your choice is to stay - forever it will be the on-off, maybe yes, maybe no thing. That will be your life. You will not find the "stay at home" life you are looking for with her. When things get tired - use some nice girl to spice things up in your relationship. You can drop the nice girl - just like you did. So forget it. This will be your life. Play!
Or, Get the life you say you want. Stop dating your "ex" - stop playing the game and grow up. You will not get the easy sex from her. There won't be all the excitement of "what will I do next" - because the game will no longer be played.
My friend, I'm sorry to sound harsh. I have been in a where you are and I know how time passes. Months turn into years very quickly. If you continue down this road you will find yourself, too old or too damaged (twisted) to get the relationship you say you want.
This is your life - live it well!
Take care.
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