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In short, the pattern of her calling has changed to something different.
Yesterday, I was driving home and decided to pick up lunch along the way. She called me and asked what I was doing. I mentioned that I was picking up lunch and going home. To which she said, "Well, you can eat lunch over here." Mind you, this is a woman who lives ten miles away. I have been to her house precisely twice in the past ten years or so.
Is she inviting me to do something besides lunch? Is this my imagination? And what should I do about this. No, attractive as she is, I have no intention of doing anything wrong. I'm just wondering if my instincts are right, and how do I keep her as a client. I also don't like the fact that I haven't told my wife about this conversation, either.
Trust your gut instinct...sure does sound like she has some kind of agenda. I'm curious about her marital status. Is she going through a divorce, or did she recently split up with her S.O.? This could explain her behavior.
If you know where you belong (with your wife) and don't have a desire for anything outside of this, just stay true to yourself and maintain your self-control and composure. I would not bring it up to the wife, it will pretty much ruin any friendship that is there, and quite possibly put trust issues between you and your wife. When this lady make a pass at you, be aloof and pretend like you don't know she is making a pass at you. Whatever you do, do not be flirty with her, she will think you are saying yes to her request. Do not go to her home (or out to lunch,etc..) when others are not present, and do try to disengage with her on the phone calls. If you do this repeatedly, she will get the hint, if not you may have to go the next step and just avoid her phone calls alltogether.
Trust your gut instinct...sure does sound like she has some kind of agenda. I'm curious about her marital status. Is she going through a divorce, or did she recently split up with her S.O.? This could explain her behavior.
Well, she's two years younger than I am, her husband travels a lot on biz, and her youngest son just went to college. So I'm guessing that her life just doesn't have a lot going on right now.
Well, if your relationship with your wife is THAT good and you've gone down this road before, then maybe telling her would be fine... I just thought you could avoid a lot of awkwardness and handle this yourself...
Acting naive and clueless toward her advances would probably be the best way to continue having her as a client, but if she gets to the point where she's being blatant, you may need to put a stop to it and potentially end the professional relationship along with it....
Bottom line is that YOU know what NOT to do here. Everything else will work itself out.
Oh, one last thing: I know we're ALL assuming that she's coming on to you, but definately don't assume that yet. There might be some sort of legit reason for why she's acting this way (though I can't figure what it is.. ).
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
She is an acquaintance of my wife's, but the connection is through me. My wife, to be truthful, thinks she is a bit of a dingbat.
When other women have made more overt, explicit passes at me, I have had no qualms telling my wife about it. My belief is that I'd rather have it out in the open than allow it to fester. She's pretty philosophic about it, saying that I'm easy for women to talk to. She also says that she doesn't care where I get my appetite as long as I eat at home.
This is another topic, I realize, but I've often wondered about this very thing--telling your spouse about the passes others make at you. I almost never told my husband about passes made at me, unless it was one that concerned me for safety's sake and that only happened once.
As for your client, I wouldn't have any problems just saying something like, 'Maybe we could all four get together for dinner sometime'. If that loses her as a client, so be it.
Well, she's two years younger than I am, her husband travels a lot on biz, and her youngest son just went to college. So I'm guessing that her life just doesn't have a lot going on right now.
Ahhhhh..."empty nest syndrome" can hit some people (especially mothers) pretty hard. She and her hubby really need to renew themselves as a couple.
I think you know exactly what you need to do in this situation. Hopefully, it won't cost you a client. Good luck!
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