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Knowing the pain of being cheated on myself, and having recently found out that my friends husband is cheating on her (saw him at a bar kissing some woman we didn't know) i am not sure what to do.
Should I be a friend and tell her, (but if so how do i put it to her?) Or do i leave well alone because its none of my business. (I am trying to solve things in my relationship at the moment and I have a lot on my plate, and I am really not sure what to do or how to go about doing things).
I am fairly close to both the husband and the wife. This is such a difficult situation.
If you are acquainted with the husband, I would be more inclined to approach him about the matter first. Let him know what you saw and give him the chance to fess up to his wife himself.
The wisest thing to do, though....is probably to stay out of it, I suppose. No telling what kind of trouble you could get yourself wrapped up in.
Also depends on how good of a friend the wife is to you. I don't think I could let a situation like this slide if it happened to one of my best friends. How could I ever look her in the eyes again with that burden in my soul?
But you're damned if you do, damned if you don't in some cases. Could be she will get angry with you for telling her. Or, perhaps, she will find out some other way and then be angry you didn't tell her.
Do what your conscience demands.
I agree this could be darned if you do / don't. Still I come down on the side of telling her. You must know that you do risk your friendship; Her husband could convince her that you lied because you are madly in love with him - who knows what BS he could make up? Even if she comes to know that you are right and he is cheating she may never want anything to do with you. It's a risk you take. And I vote ... take the risk, tell her what you saw.
Knowing the pain of being cheated on myself, and having recently found out that my friends husband is cheating on her (saw him at a bar kissing some woman we didn't know) i am not sure what to do.
Should I be a friend and tell her, (but if so how do i put it to her?) Or do i leave well alone because its none of my business. (I am trying to solve things in my relationship at the moment and I have a lot on my plate, and I am really not sure what to do or how to go about doing things).
I am fairly close to both the husband and the wife. This is such a difficult situation.
Since you are close to him too I'd go directly to him first, tell him what you saw and ask him what he intends to do about it. Give him a chance to explain (maybe it really was his second kissing cousin or something, lol). If there is no explanation other than he really was cheating tell him he has 48 hours to tell her himself or you will.
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I was in this situation! I told my best friend her husband was cheating on her. She hired a private detective and found out I was right. She thanked me, divorced him and is now in a happy marriage with a little boy and twin girls! Mutual friends of ours read me the riot act for telling her and told me I should stay out of their marriage. In good conscience, I could not stay out of it when my best friend's heart was at stake.
On the other hand, I have a friend who had a long time friendship with a woman. This woman's boyfriend made a pass at my friend. She asked me what to do. I told her to inform her friend. The friend no longer speaks with her and is still with the man. My friend said in retrospect, she shouldn't have told her.
Good luck in your decision and go with your heart.
No I would not tell her. In my case, I suspected my friend's husband was cheating. It was confirmed by another friend who saw them in a restaurant. I truly believe she knew about it. We used to go out as couples, and I know she was hurt by my avoidance. I did not speak to him and ignored him for a couple of years, but I see her, so I finally said a curt hello to him, but he knows I know, and does not go out of his way to talk to me any longer.
There is a way to just let her know and it not come from you personally. Sending her an email isn't proof and it will just make matters worse. Make sure you have proof or she won't believe you.
What's in the dark will eventually come to the light.
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