The ManMote - A Manly Remote
Ladies, wouldn't it be wonderful if you could program your man like a TV? What if you had a little hand-held remote with all the right buttons to make him do what YOU want him to? Wouldn't that be wonderful???
Introducing the
MANMOTE - your all-in-one remote control for your man!
NOTE: The ManMote is designed to control only your man's normal, everyday functions. If you wish to control him during one of those infrequent lovemaking sessions, you'll need to install the optional
Adult Programming Option (APO).
The buttons on the ManMote include...
ON/OFF - If your guy is totally crapped out on the sofa, hit the ON button. He'll spring to life in an instant. Likewise, if he's getting ready to run out to go bowling with his friends again, just hit the OFF button; he'll stay home like a good little puppy! In APO mode, puts him in (or out) of the mood.
VOLUME +/- - Whether your guy tends to be a little loud or speaks in a whisper, this button will give your ear drums the rest they deserve. In APO mode, controls the volume of yelling, grunting and groaning.
CHANNEL +/- - The CHANNEL function on the ManMote will change his “channel” or train of thought. Depending on your man's genetic programming package (NOT INCLUDED with the ManMote) he might have only a few trains of thought or several dozen. You can also SKIP channels and lock-out the violent and/or adult content channels. In APO mode, will force your man to pleasure you in a different way.
MUTE - probably will be the most-used button on the ManMote.
ENTER - this button allows entry of any ManMote command. Can also be programmed in APO mode to allow physical entry.
PLAY - allows your man to enter a playful mood. In APO mode, results in 20 minutes of foreplay.
STOP - instantly stops your man from doing whatever he is doing. Great for those after-dinner gas-passing episodes. With the optional APO, stops your man when you get bored, sore or tired.
PAUSE - will make your man slowly stop what he is doing for several seconds. Useful when you want to give him a quick kiss while he's mowing the lawn. With the APO option installed, this function is great for when he finally “hits the spot”.
REWIND - returns your man to an earlier emotional state. With APO installed, you can revisit any good moves he accidentally makes as many times as you like.
FAST FORWARD - want to skip his lame excuses at 3 AM? Just hit FAST FORWARD. Also, in APO mode, increases the tempo of your man's movements.
SLEEP - allows your man to get some well-earned sleep after being controlled for so many hours. In APO mode, allows you to call it a night.
TV - allows your man to watch some television. Useful when you go to the mall or have a girl's-night-out. In APO mode, induces your man to dress in women's clothing.
VCR - “Very Crude Remark” - when your man makes a rude remark, hitting this button will result in his feeling heavy remorse for 15 minutes. In APO mode, will result in your man giving you Vigorous Clitoral Responses.
INPUT - allows your man to give you his opinion. Can be used with STOP, PAUSE and MUTE.
MENU - your man will recite the complete menus of your 3 favorite restaurants. In APO mode, gives access to a lengthy sub-menu of positions and actions.
PROGRAM - allows you to pre-plan your man's actions for up to 24 hours. In APO mode (only with the Celebrity Sex Option), allows your man to imitate your favorite star's techniques and vocalizations.
DVD - “Deliver Victoria Demands” - your man will suddenly rush out to the nearest Victoria's Secret and return with any item(s) you desire.
CODE SEARCH - will decode your man's language in accordance with the standard Universal Male Code (UMC), i.e. - when your man says “
Let's take a road trip”, press the button and the read-out will show “
I want to see the Mets' spring training camp in Florida”.
SKIP - in normal mode, your man will gaily skip around for 1 minute. Good for showing off with your friends. In APO mode, forces your man to move on and do something different.
RECORD - records everything your man says. You can PLAY it back later to prove you were right all along.
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