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I need some advice. Say that there's this young girl: 21, beautiful, yet slightly insecure African-American girl who does not have a good relationship w/ her father. She meets an older, Middle Eastern gentleman who says that he is 30 yrs old but then she finds that she doesn't trust him & when she does a background check on him, she discovers that his true age is 40.
However, all this girl seems to attract is older men who have a slightly possessive streak. She doesn't dress like an old woman & likes to do things w/ her peers, so why does she attract these men?
She then proceeds to break up w/ the gentleman who has been very gracious towards her yet at the same time pressures her into sleeping with him (she is still a virgin) yet she gives him sexual favors but doesn't allow him to penetrate her yet because the 1st attempt he didn't want to wear a condom...Since the breakup, she has been moving along quite nicely...
2 weeks later, she feels like there was no official "closure" & text messages him, simply saying "Hello"...he then immediately calls & sends her text messages, saying "I miss you", etc. & when they finally have a phone conversation, he asks her for another chance...
Why did this girl do this? She's not an idiot, on the contrary, she is very smart yet naive when it comes to relationships. She wants to see the best in this man & still has feelings for him. Does she have daddy issues? How can she fix the situation?
If this is a hypothetical question cloaked under reality, you will get help. If it is just a hypothetical question...it's hard for posters as they cannot see themselves relating to the protagonist.
Hmmm, I don't know how this has to do with Daddy issues. There are many many women who enjoy the company of older men. I would be hard pressed to believe that they all had the same issues.
I've been there - Knowing a guy is totally wrong for me but unable to let him go. My friend told me the other day that first break-ups / splits do not often stick, and looking back, I think she is right in many cases.
And again - you're wondering why you attract these men when it's probably a case of you being attracted to them.
Don't be embarrassed. You're probably more normal than half the weirdos on this site.
I still like him though. I don't know what to do. I'm going to a therapy session to see how I can handle it...
Get rid of everything that you associate with him. Cut it off completely. Out of sight out of mind...for the most part. Lose his number, lose his email.
The beginning is the hardest part. You will find someone much better down the line. You will look back wondering WTF. lol.
I still like him though. I don't know what to do. I'm going to a therapy session to see how I can handle it...
He is 40, he lied he was 30.
If he truly respects you, he won't ask you for "sexual favours"
Men from the middle east and Asia like young women. It's a patriarchal society and anything goes. I had to grow up with news of 60-something rich bastards who would marry 18 year olds, for the sake of astrology and good omen. And the millions of brothels out there, the girls are as young as 12. So, this is the general lineament of many a middle-aged person from the East.
You seek his company. He seeks your "goods". That's a dangerous difference. I would recommend staying away from this man.
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