How do you overcome shyness when you see someone you want to meet? (boyfriend, how to)

[Centurian]

I don't know how to describe it; you see a pretty girl in a cafe or at a bookstore or in a bar; she's beautiful, pretty, but for some reason, you can't bring yourself over to go up and talk to her.

And when you try, your mouth becomes dry and your palms start to sweat. Your doubts and insecurities all come up while you're trying to think of something unique or clever to say, and before you do, you either give up, still thinking and planning, or she's walked away.

And you feel like a coward afterwards for not talking to her.

What do you do? How do you come over this?

[Huckleberry3911948]

my desire to meet someone is offset by my caution from past experience.
i do meet them but not like a dog unleashed.

[Chowhound]

Originally Posted by Centurian

I don't know how to describe it; you see a pretty girl in a cafe or at a bookstore or in a bar; she's beautiful, pretty, but for some reason, you can't bring yourself over to go up and talk to her.

And when you try, your mouth becomes dry and your palms start to sweat. Your doubts and insecurities all come up while you're trying to think of something unique or clever to say, and before you do, you either give up, still thinking and planning, or she's walked away.

And you feel like a coward afterwards for not talking to do.

What do you do? How do you come over this?

You sound like a young man. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Accept that you are that way.

[Centurian]

Originally Posted by Chowhound

You sound like a young man. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Accept that you are that way.

What the hell?

What kind of advice is that!

[Chowhound]

Originally Posted by Centurian

What the hell?

What kind of advice is that!

How about this for some advice,then.

Nut up or shut up.

[virgode]

Be who you are, your more assertive side.

[Naturen]

Try approaching someone that does not intimidate you so much. It may take awhile but when you get a positive response relish it. Hopefully, after a few positive responses, your self-esteem/ego won't be affected by a negative response. Then you're off and flying.

[Saberai]

How about being platonic friends first, Sheesh! Many guys always try to jump ship to the "boyfriend status!"


If you come to her focusing only on her looks, she'll brush you off just like I've done to other guys years ago.

[Centurian]

Originally Posted by Saberai

How about being platonic friends first, Sheesh! Many guys always try to jump ship to the "boyfriend status!"

When has that ever work? You get in the friendzone, you're stuck in friendzone.

[virgode]

There are females that may find your shyness appealing.
Confidently shy is not bad.

Come out of your comfort zone for a bit, its like practicing riding a bike,
then it becomes second nature.