"You really don't know what you're missing." (dating, wife, women)
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I have changed my profile on the dating site to state that I am not actively searching. I have received a few emails but the one I received today inspired me to post about it.
I responded, as a courtesy, and told him that I appreciated his interest but I have found someone. I ended the email wishing him all the very best in his search.
He wrote back and told me that he really would like me to reconsider. He really enjoyed my profile and feels that we have a basis for something "fabulous" based on his wants and what I expressed. I thanked him for the kind words and declined again.
"That's too bad. You really don't know what you're missing. I have the ability to make you very happy and very comfortable, it would be a fairy tale come true." was his response. I left it at that. This is how he handles rejection and I'm not about to burst his bubble.
This statement, whether it comes from men I reject or people who think I should date Joe Shmoe because he has a good heart, really makes me shake my head. It's true, I don't know what I am missing, so I really don't care. My mother's friend's nephew from Peru could be a really good man. He works hard and is a really sweet guy, but he is not my type. So, I really don't care what I am missing. And if I've never had him, I can't miss him.
It reminds me of the double-dog dare. Have any of you actually changed your minds about dating someone as the result of being told this?
That's a little creepy, actually. No means no. It doesn't mean maybe. Thank goodness you dropped the sucker or else you might've found something disturbing about him.
You folks think THAT'S creepy?!? You're lucky you haven't run into the REAL deal yet.
The guy is just being a guy - none of this "no means no" business here; it isn't as if he's attacking you in a dark alley. He's just trying to hook up - which, I though, was the whole idea behind dating sites.
You don't want to have anything to do with him, PTC, I understand - that's your right. But I really don't see what he did as offensive in any way.
You folks think THAT'S creepy?!? You're lucky you haven't run into the REAL deal yet.
The guy is just being a guy - none of this "no means no" business here; it isn't as if he's attacking you in a dark alley. He's just trying to hook up - which, I though, was the whole idea behind dating sites.
You don't want to have anything to do with him, PTC, I understand - that's your right. But I really don't see what he did as offensive in any way.
No, not offensive. Stupid, yes, but harmless.
The point is about the statement itself. I don't know what I'm missing, so what's there to miss? So, aside from it being a small tantrum from people who can't take rejection, is it a challenge? A last ditch effort? An attack on my character? All of the above?
I'm sure you've heard and read conversations about people who are too "picky" that include "You're probably missing out on the best thing that will ever happen to you.", "You probably just lost out on the perfect wife/husband.". Does my life have less value or quality because I rejected someone I have never met or never took the time to know? There is no loss when you haven't gained anything to begin with.
I just wonder if people have actually given in to this kind of thing.
I don't get that she found it offensive, just that the comment "you don't know what you're missing" is often thrown out and she recognizes it as accurate but irrelevant. It's true she will never know what experience he may have provided but since there is no way to actually know what might have been, she won't feel the absence of it either so the point is irrelevant to her.
That argument never changed my mind for similar reasons. Maybe he's right and you just passed on the greatest love of your life but you will never know that for sure so who cares? Or he could be way off and you just barely escaped a relationship that would have destroyed you, but again, you'll never know so who cares?
I don't think he's creepy for the comment though, some women would appreciate his perserverance!
I don't get that she found it offensive, just that the comment "you don't know what you're missing" is often thrown out and she recognizes it as accurate but irrelevant. It's true she will never know what experience he may have provided but since there is no way to actually know what might have been, she won't feel the absence of it either so the point is irrelevant to her.
That argument never changed my mind for similar reasons. Maybe he's right and you just passed on the greatest love of your life but you will never know that for sure so who cares? Or he could be way off and you just barely escaped a relationship that would have destroyed you, but again, you'll never know so who cares?
I don't think he's creepy for the comment though, some women would appreciate his perserverance!
Agreed.
I did actually admire that he wrote and tried; I dig a man who isn't afraid to take chances. However, he went back to being a mere mortal after that last comment.
The point is about the statement itself. I don't know what I'm missing, so what's there to miss? So, aside from it being a small tantrum from people who can't take rejection, is it a challenge? A last ditch effort? An attack on my character? All of the above?
I'm sure you've heard and read conversations about people who are too "picky" that include "You're probably missing out on the best thing that will ever happen to you.", "You probably just lost out on the perfect wife/husband.". Does my life have less value or quality because I rejected someone I have never met or never took the time to know? There is no loss when you haven't gained anything to begin with.
I just wonder if people have actually given in to this kind of thing.
He was "doin" what guys are created to do, and that is pursue the female. So he was not so smooth! Big deal, but it seems to have gotten inside your head for some reason???
It could have been any woman he had met online and wanted a shot at. Not to diminish your most probable indescribable attractive lure Maybe your are to him as the Sirens were to Pegasus? Probably so right!??
In any event, pass me a beer and not the chocolate!!!
He was "doin" what guys are created to do, and that is pursue the female. So he was not so gosh or smooth! Big deal, but it seems to have gotten inside your head for some reason???
I think I made that reason clear.
Quote:
It could have been any woman he had met online and wanted a shot at. Not to diminish your most probable indescribable attractive lure Maybe your are to him as the Sirens were to Pegasus? Probably so right!??
Evidently.
Quote:
In any event, pass me a beer and not the chocolate!!!
I have a can of **** warm chango for ya, ya want it?
I have changed my profile on the dating site to state that I am not actively searching. I have received a few emails but the one I received today inspired me to post about it.
I responded, as a courtesy, and told him that I appreciated his interest but I have found someone. I ended the email wishing him all the very best in his search.
He wrote back and told me that he really would like me to reconsider. He really enjoyed my profile and feels that we have a basis for something "fabulous" based on his wants and what I expressed. I thanked him for the kind words and declined again.
"That's too bad. You really don't know what you're missing. I have the ability to make you very happy and very comfortable, it would be a fairy tale come true." was his response. I left it at that. This is how he handles rejection and I'm not about to burst his bubble.
This statement, whether it comes from men I reject or people who think I should date Joe Shmoe because he has a good heart, really makes me shake my head. It's true, I don't know what I am missing, so I really don't care. My mother's friend's nephew from Peru could be a really good man. He works hard and is a really sweet guy, but he is not my type. So, I really don't care what I am missing. And if I've never had him, I can't miss him.
It reminds me of the double-dog dare. Have any of you actually changed your minds about dating someone as the result of being told this?
That guy is definitely creepy. He should have just congratulated you on finding someone and wished you nothing but the best and that things work out with you and the other guy. But, he should have also left you with "well, if it doesnt work out, feel free to give me a call as I do find your profile quite interesting and if I am still single, maybe we can meet ......" something like that.
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Cut the dude some slack!
