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When I worked in the mall in town, my coworkers and I had guys coming in all the time to talk to us. When I'm out and about, people stare at me. Some go out of their way to speak, some give me compliments, however I think it's just the culture down here. In the South, it's custom to speak and be nice to people. For the most part anyway. When I lived closer up North, no one really spoke or said much.
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I think the issue is, that even when women do approach, and initiate a conversation, some guys tell themselves she's just being friendly. When I think about it, they do have a point; sometimes women start a chat just to pass the time in the check-out line, or whatever. But in James' examples, it seems pretty clear they weren't just being neighborly. Approaching out of nowhere to initiate a conversation about a vegetable? She's not just being friendly, chatty. Talking about the weather in a check-out line? Probably just being sociable, though you never know.
Yeah, I used to be talkative and friendly with people, because it was just in my nature. I would make a joke or two in lines at restaurants or grocery stores. I would typically do it to ease my discomfort or anxiety in new situations. Guys would mistake it for me being flirty when I was just naturally anxious lol. Talking and being social sometimes just makes certain situations easier to deal with.
I don’t necessarily think it’s a generational thing or even a societal thing. Again, I think people who are open to meeting a romantic partner will look for opportunities to do so, now and then. But there are many more places and ways to do that now than there were then. Online dating, bars and clubs, gendered coeducation, speed dating. The sexual revolution making finding liaisons easier and more acceptable. For many people, especially for those whom dating comes more easily, the number of methods there are to find romantic opportunities means they usually don’t have to resort to meeting someone at the store or on the beach like grandpa did.
No it is quite the generational thing, so...agree to disagree.
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The question is, does that sort of thing happen to him where you live. .
I wouldn't call myself beautiful but I do attract attention from men and women wherever I go. I think it's because I have a cheerful disposition and smile a lot. Never underestimate the power of a smile. It makes one seem more approachable.
I just got back from Trader Joe's and a woman says hi to me. I was looking at the frozen pizzas. No one near me. I glance to the side and a woman is coming down my aisle and says a friendly "hi".
There is no one near me and I just saw her immediately after she said hi and her eyes were on me. She was carrying a shopping basket and not wearing any store logo. I said hi back, she walked by.
I have no idea why she said hi. I started to look for her to ask but saw her leave the store.
I just got back from Trader Joe's and a woman says hi to me. I was looking at the frozen pizzas. No one near me. I glance to the side and a woman is coming down my aisle and says a friendly "hi".
There is no one near me and I just saw her immediately after she said hi and her eyes were on me. She was carrying a shopping basket and not wearing any store logo. I said hi back, she walked by.
I have no idea why she said hi. I started to look for her to ask but saw her leave the store.
This is a great question, OP. I've tried to recognize these things, but women are so much less obvious about being attracted to someone than men are. That said, I did notice a very attractive woman at church yesterday staring at me and smiling. I was so caught off guard that I did nothing. Well, I did hang around for a second looking for her after I walked out (service was over), but didn't see her follow behind me. Missed opportunity. But typically, I never catch anyone checking me out. Its not that I'm unaware, as I'm usually looking up, not at my phone, but it just doesn't happen.
I did stop by an auto body shop over the weekend about getting my windshield replaced. The woman behind the counter (admin assistant) was so cute! I was telling the story of how a truck kicked up a rock off the road and it shattered my windshield and that I wanted to chase the guy down and tell him. She just smiled and laughed. She laughed at other things I said too. I was so caught off guard (per usual) that I didn't ask her if she was single or flirt with her. However, I will go back and maybe ask the manager if she is single. Hmm...
I hope at least some people are attracted to me...I'm awful at knowing if people are. I'm a massive flirt though, and I'll flirt with any attractive women I end up talking to...something about my personality I guess. Flirting is fun and exciting with endless amounts of possibilities...how could I not love it?!
I'm envious of your charisma and ability to do that. Wish I could!
I don't think I'm attractive but I'll tell you some times I've been approached by girls over the years.
Way back in high school I was with my parents at a theme park and set out alone in the park and two girls approached me, and we went on rides together.
Also back in high school I'm sitting in first day of class. Students are walking in to find seats. She walks in and notices me immediately. She comes and sits right next to me. Later there is a class bus trip. She signs me up to sit next to her.
On several occasions I've been out shopping at the mall and just standing there looking at something and a woman will come up and talk to me. Just happened yesterday at the grocery store. She was very friendly and started talking to me about the vegetable I was thinking of buying.
Years ago when I was married a woman approached me in a store and started a very friendly conversation. I told my wife about her when I got home.
At the book store a woman came up and just started a conversation, told me her name.
Another time I was the only person in the book aisle looking at a book and a woman comes right next to me looking at a book 3 feet from me on the bottom shelf. She is squatting and her hand is on a book on the bottom shelf and I'm standing next to her. No one else in the aisle.
A few years ago I was checking out at the grocery store and found out the beautiful cashier was from a country that just had a hurricane and she had family there she could not get into contact with. I gave her a hug. Yes, a cashier I didn't know, a hug. I left thinking I really shouldn't have done that. A few weeks later I see her again at the vegetables and I came up to her and when she recognizes me she gives ME a hug. Her family was ok. That's the only time a cashier ever gave me a hug.
Another time I was at a park alone and sitting on the bench. A woman was passing by and she gave me a very nice smile, it was almost like we knew each other.
I never go to bars. However I was on a business trip and decided I would one night. As soon as I walk in, a waitress is looking me over like she can't wait to serve me.
Which reminds me of the time I went to Hooters alone to get lunch. Which I've been once. I'm not kidding, the waitress asks what I'm doing later.
After a job meeting with clients we where in the parking lot heading for our cars. This lady client I'm talking to as we head for our cars is not heading for her car, but remains standing in front of me and has a look as if waiting for me to ask her out.
At church we had an ongoing bowling night and I was on a team with several married women. I'm single. I show up one night and I don't know why but one of the married women calls out my name "Hi James!" and gives me the biggest hug. Just because I showed up?
Seriously I dress in jeans and tee shirts most the time and never considered myself eye catching attractive. I thought this happens to all guys.
Nope, this does not happen to all guys. I do think in my case its the city I live in. I was at a men's church group last night and lamenting about it being too late for me to have kids or a family, and this 25 year old guy looks at me and said "hey man, you're a good looking dude who has his sh*t together. You'll find her". That made me feel good. Sometimes its like straight dudes make more positive comments about my appearance than any woman does, which is baffling. I also can recognize good looking guys, but I never tell them.
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