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"I tell it like it is. The truth hurts, deal with it."
"I don't sugarcoat anything."
How many of you have heard this type of thing from someone on a regular basis? What was your impression of them?
Personally, I give them . I find, in almost every case, these people are emotional vampires who's intention is not to enlighten or help you with the truth, but to purposely offend and alienate you. It's all about the shock factor that ultimately makes them the center of attention.
Last edited by mrstewart; 10-22-2009 at 11:03 PM..
Reason: reports of disturbing video
I have found this to be correct, they are also quick to point out when others are 'liars'. Usually these people lack tact, so they try to say "I cut through the crap". Opinionated losers.
There is a difference between being honest and being rude. Common courtesy/manners should keep you from outright hurting someone's feeling for the sake of being honest.
Example. If your friend stepped outside in purple/green striped socks and platform vinyl shoes, instead of saying you look like a damn fool...it would be kinder to say, hey let's see if we can find something in your closet that would really set your outfit off!
It's all about tact....it will get the point across and save relationships!
I have a good friend that says that, I just think it's funny. As far as I know she's not an "emotional vampire," but she'll tell me the cold hard truth if I ask her opinion. I've found I ask for her opinion/advice more often that my other friends because I trust that she means what she says. Some people that say that are jerks and some aren't, like everyone else, it just depends on the individual. The guy you overheard was obviously one of the jerks.
Seeniorita is right. There is definitely a distinct difference between common courtesy and just being rude. People should know the difference. And, it really just boils down to somone lacking in basic communication skills.
I think its different when communicating in person than when communicating online. The written word is best when it gets straight to the point. I think a lot of people when online (like here on CD) just look for someone to hold their hand, and be nice to them because they dont have it in their "real lives". For example, someone in the Exercise threads would say:
"Oh I really dont know what to do, Im 75 pounds overweight, but I just love to eat and I dont like exercise. Im lonely, want to find someone to love me, but people cant get past my size. What should I do?". I would respond:
"Well you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and blaming all your woes on your weight. If you you know your obesity is the root cause of the issue, do something about it instead of crying about it."
This is to the point. Nothing wrong with this. Not being rude, just stating facts. But you can see how someone could possibly say its "too strong" whereas others would say "Right On".
There is a difference between being honest and being rude. Common courtesy/manners should keep you from outright hurting someone's feeling for the sake of being honest.
Example. If your friend stepped outside in purple/green striped socks and platform vinyl shoes, instead of saying you look like a damn fool...it would be kinder to say, hey let's see if we can find something in your closet that would really set your outfit off!
It's all about tact....it will get the point across and save relationships!
\
Now this is where my bluntness would take over, I would have asked her where her trick or treat bag was.
Seeniorita is right. There is definitely a distinct difference between common courtesy and just being rude. People should know the difference. And, it really just boils down to somone lacking in basic communication skills.
I think its different when communicating in person than when communicating online. The written word is best when it gets straight to the point. I think a lot of people when online (like here on CD) just look for someone to hold their hand, and be nice to them because they dont have it in their "real lives". For example, someone in the Exercise threads would say:
"Oh I really dont know what to do, Im 75 pounds overweight, but I just love to eat and I dont like exercise. Im lonely, want to find someone to love me, but people cant get past my size. What should I do?". I would respond:
"Well you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and blaming all your woes on your weight. If you you know your obesity is the root cause of the issue, do something about it instead of crying about it."
This is to the point. Nothing wrong with this. Not being rude, just stating facts. But you can see how someone could possibly say its "too strong" whereas others would say "Right On".
That's right Lao,
You may WANT to say...
Get off your fat a** and do something about it! The fact that you have cankles did not clue you into the fact that you were overweight?
Instead the TACTFULl thing to say would be....
Why don't you try doing x exercise..it's easy on the your joints and a good place to start!
*All the while you can be THINKIG....hope you don't break the f*ing treadmill while you are at it!! "
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. I find, in almost every case, these people are emotional vampires who's intention is not to enlighten or help you with the truth, but to purposely offend and alienate you. It's all about the shock factor that ultimately makes them the center of attention.
