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Old 10-23-2009, 12:48 AM
 
432 posts, read 603,023 times
Reputation: 176

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
What an idiot. Sorry...but you are.

Just call names, but don't explain why? I made attempts to explain why I do that now, and what situation forced me that way. Yet, you did not add anything to this discussion.. So please explain your stance, share your thoughts, or delete your post.
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Old 10-23-2009, 01:31 AM
 
1,322 posts, read 2,407,267 times
Reputation: 1473
Quote:
Originally Posted by ManGoneADreamin View Post
I made the mistake of talking on the phone/online with a girl for many hours a day and many days a week before.

BEFORE I got in her pants...

So, I basically opened myself up to her before we even had a romantic/sexual relationship.

I tried several times (not real good attempts, I'll admit) to let her know that I liked her as more than a friend, etc. And each time she responded by saying 'not right now'/we need to know each other better.. etc..

I respected this girl so much, that I was nervous of making a serious move, b.c I didn't know how to take the possible rejection of someone I cared about and liked a lot.


So finally, after many, many months of 'being friends'/ seeing where things would lead, I lost it, and ended our relationship of being friends right there. I didn't answer her calls, and was honest and told her I didn't want to be friends anymore or have contact with her.

The girl knew the whole time that I wanted more, and she kept leading me on, and was never str8 up with me it seemed like. Like she said that she was attracted to me for like the first month or so, but then she just liked me as a friend... Yet she led me to believe that there was a possibility of more...


Did I enjoy talking with her? Sharing thoughts/feelings? Sure.. at the time. But I regret it all now.



Thankfully, I don't think I'll make this mistake ever again. Is this a mistake that many other men make, but usually only one time?




With the 4 other women I've met since her.. I made sure to make a move that first or second day of hanging out with them.

None of them rejected me, and I felt at least I got something out of the relationship right away, instead of giving a women my feelings before she even put out... I felt in control of those relationships.. and I believe it's because I acted like a man and went for the pu$$y first, instead of the emotional **** women like first..



I believe that in all reality- women don't respect a man who doesn't make a move when he wants to. Men can never just be friends with a woman they are attracted to.... unless said woman gains 40 lbs or so all the sudden.


Do you women ever purposefully knowingly stay friends with a guy that really is into you... Even though you know you'll never give him any action? Kind of like waving a bone over a dog that's wagging it's tail but never droppin it...
Let me see if I got this right.

According to you, the only way to have a good relationship with someone is to get in bed with them before you expose yourself (emotionally, that is) to them?

Alright man, that's just absurd. Sure, it might work in the short run, but do you really want to be dating chicks that are that easy the rest of your life? Think about it, if they give it up that easily to you before they really even know you, what's to say they won't do the same with someone else?

Bro, I think you need a higher class chick than that.

Let me see if I can explain a couple things here.

There's a fine line between becoming someone's friend, and in forming a romantic relationship.

You're right, if all you do is just talk about feelings and this and that for months on end, you'll probably end up in the "friend" category. Women do want someone who have the confidence to make the first move, to make them feel that attraction. But bro, lust and love are two separate things. What you're doing is making that person feel lust, and man, lust never gets you anywhere unless all you're looking for is a booty call.

But, you're also wrong. There's a point where things can be taken too far. Making a move just to make a move only descends into lust. You have to find a balance here. Sure, make a move - give her a kiss, hold her hand, touch her face - but beyond that, slow down. Show her that you're a person as well, and that you respect her as a person also. The point here is to have a relationship, not a bed buddy. Trust me, anticipation is everything.

So, to answer your question, women will stay friends with you because they like you as a friend, even if you like them as more. It's the same with guys, we'll be friends with a girl that's into us even though we don't feel the same. Usually, the one person loses interest in a relationship and the two become friends anyway - in my experience at least.

Either way, above everything else, just be yourself.

I wish ya luck..
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Old 10-23-2009, 01:34 AM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,812,823 times
Reputation: 7058
Most men like that you are interested in their body or bulge. Show a lot of interest in their body. When you get the man give him a lot of compliments on how impressive his package is.
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Old 10-23-2009, 01:37 AM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,812,823 times
Reputation: 7058
I agree with you. A lot of adults I know have that 13 year old mentality "If we can't have sex and be lovers then we can't be anything." That is extremely immature thinking for anybody out of high school. By the time you are 17/18 you should be understanding that not everything is all or nothing. There is middle ground to be cherished and enjoyed. I know a lot of guys in college are this way. It's annoying because you can't be friends with them. It's sex and romance or nothing. They just don't get it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanBlasphemy View Post
Let me see if I got this right.

According to you, the only way to have a good relationship with someone is to get in bed with them before you expose yourself (emotionally, that is) to them?

Alright man, that's just absurd. Sure, it might work in the short run, but do you really want to be dating chicks that are that easy the rest of your life? Think about it, if they give it up that easily to you before they really even know you, what's to say they won't do the same with someone else?

Bro, I think you need a higher class chick than that.

Let me see if I can explain a couple things here.

There's a fine line between becoming someone's friend, and in forming a romantic relationship.

You're right, if all you do is just talk about feelings and this and that for months on end, you'll probably end up in the "friend" category. Women do want someone who have the confidence to make the first move, to make them feel that attraction. But bro, lust and love are two separate things. What you're doing is making that person feel lust, and man, lust never gets you anywhere unless all you're looking for is a booty call.

But, you're also wrong. There's a point where things can be taken too far. Making a move just to make a move only descends into lust. You have to find a balance here. Sure, make a move - give her a kiss, hold her hand, touch her face - but beyond that, slow down. Show her that you're a person as well, and that you respect her as a person also. The point here is to have a relationship, not a bed buddy. Trust me, anticipation is everything.

So, to answer your question, women will stay friends with you because they like you as a friend, even if you like them as more. It's the same with guys, we'll be friends with a girl that's into us even though we don't feel the same. Usually, the one person loses interest in a relationship and the two become friends anyway - in my experience at least.

Either way, above everything else, just be yourself.

I wish ya luck..
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Old 10-23-2009, 06:04 AM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,611,824 times
Reputation: 14732
Quote:
Originally Posted by ManGoneADreamin View Post
I tried several times (not real good attempts, I'll admit) to let her know that I liked her as more than a friend, etc. And each time she responded by saying 'not right now'/we need to know each other better.. etc..
I could see this was a long post, so I stopped here, at the first red flag. You have to learn to pack it up when you hear anything like this.

Be nice, smile, play along just long enough to depart gracefully - pretend that yes, she's right, this is actually about time, not that she doesn't like you - even though what she's really saying is obvious.

I think the problem is that to her, this is a clear enough signal - for you, I don't know what you thought this was, but you took it at face value.

Up until this point, I think you did OK. I went back and read the remainder of your thread, and after this you TOTALLY derailed.

Last edited by le roi; 10-23-2009 at 06:18 AM..
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Old 10-23-2009, 06:36 AM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,722,629 times
Reputation: 15642
I get the feeling that you were chasing tail and got caught by feelings. Happens to even the biggest playahs at times and you'll learn. I dont' know whether this woman is just a bigger player than you are or whether you have such a rep that several got together and led you on to get even. I've heard women plot that sort of thing though. (Never on nice guys--only on the really big players.)
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Old 10-23-2009, 07:14 AM
 
37,445 posts, read 45,643,588 times
Reputation: 56860
Quote:
Originally Posted by ManGoneADreamin View Post
Just call names, but don't explain why? I made attempts to explain why I do that now, and what situation forced me that way. Yet, you did not add anything to this discussion.. So please explain your stance, share your thoughts, or delete your post.
Your post made it blatantly obvious. Even a fifth grader....

You made an attempt at a relationship with ONE person, and it doesn't work out like you want it to. And on THAT you decide you are "forced" to make sure that YOU "get something out of a relationship" right away?

That is the logic of someone very ignorant and bitter, or someone very young and stupid. Either way, my original assessment stands.
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Old 10-23-2009, 07:28 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,840 posts, read 30,088,362 times
Reputation: 19026
Quote:
Originally Posted by ManGoneADreamin View Post
I made the mistake of talking on the phone/online with a girl for many hours a day and many days a week before.

BEFORE I got in her pants...

So, I basically opened myself up to her before we even had a romantic/sexual relationship.

I tried several times (not real good attempts, I'll admit) to let her know that I liked her as more than a friend, etc. And each time she responded by saying 'not right now'/we need to know each other better.. etc..

I respected this girl so much, that I was nervous of making a serious move, b.c I didn't know how to take the possible rejection of someone I cared about and liked a lot.


So finally, after many, many months of 'being friends'/ seeing where things would lead, I lost it, and ended our relationship of being friends right there. I didn't answer her calls, and was honest and told her I didn't want to be friends anymore or have contact with her.

The girl knew the whole time that I wanted more, and she kept leading me on, and was never str8 up with me it seemed like. Like she said that she was attracted to me for like the first month or so, but then she just liked me as a friend... Yet she led me to believe that there was a possibility of more...


Did I enjoy talking with her? Sharing thoughts/feelings? Sure.. at the time. But I regret it all now.



Thankfully, I don't think I'll make this mistake ever again. Is this a mistake that many other men make, but usually only one time?




With the 4 other women I've met since her.. I made sure to make a move that first or second day of hanging out with them.

None of them rejected me, and I felt at least I got something out of the relationship right away, instead of giving a women my feelings before she even put out... I felt in control of those relationships.. and I believe it's because I acted like a man and went for the pu$$y first, instead of the emotional **** women like first..



I believe that in all reality- women don't respect a man who doesn't make a move when he wants to. Men can never just be friends with a woman they are attracted to.... unless said woman gains 40 lbs or so all the sudden.


Do you women ever purposefully knowingly stay friends with a guy that really is into you... Even though you know you'll never give him any action? Kind of like waving a bone over a dog that's wagging it's tail but never droppin it...
Are you kidding me? is this post for real?
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Old 10-23-2009, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,165 posts, read 20,708,050 times
Reputation: 19855
Well it's obvious to us total strangers that sex was your underlying priority, I'm sure somewhere in all of your "deep" getting to know you conversations she picked up on that as well. Either that, or after getting to know you, she just wasn't into you that way.

You need to be more honest with yourself before pursuing a relationship. Are you spilling the goods in order to draw them closer to you and perhaps drop their guard? If sex is your priority, then don't waste your and her time pretending you want some deep meaningful long term relationship when what you really want is something more casual and sexual.

You seem somewhat shallow. You use terms like "before I got in her pants" and "we can never be friends unless she gained 40 pounds"...Sounds more like you wanted them to like you for who you are, but you could really care less about who they are underneath it all. If you were dating my daughter and I heard you say some of these things, my impression and advice to her is that she brought home a douchebag. Now I don't know you, and I'm not calling you one, but from what you posted here, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...it's a douchebag.
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Old 10-23-2009, 07:42 AM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,958,432 times
Reputation: 46662
Hold the phone. It's Relationship First, Sex Second. Why on earth would you sleep with a woman before you knew about her? That's not sex or making love. That's just masturbating in a woman's body.
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