Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As soon as the divorce rate is not 50% for first time marriages then I think we can pass on the secrete and tell other people how its done. I would say one should have veto power.
Do you want links or the short version? Here's the short version, which makes perfect sense to me, but if you want links too, let me know.
The 50% statistic comes from comparing the number of marriages in a given year to the number of divorces. Even if that number is 50%, and I think it's closer to 35% this year, it doesn't account for all the people who are already married.
Do you want links or the short version? Here's the short version, which makes perfect sense to me, but if you want links too, let me know.
The 50% statistic comes from comparing the number of marriages in a given year to the number of divorces. Even if that number is 50%, and I think it's closer to 35% this year, it doesn't account for all the people who are already married.
With that formula, I'd like to point out that it also doesn't account for all the people who are already divorced as well.
It's hard to make a comparison as to what kind of marriages are more successful. As some have already pointed out, there may be an issue of how much choice either the woman (and believe it or not the man) have in the arranged marriage. Neither may be truly willing.
So to compare the two types of marriages, you'd need a group of married people who married without "arrangement" and a group of married people who married based upon an arrangement willingly and with choices in the matter. Then we might get an idea.
Frankly, I think people who enter an arranged marriage have just as good a shot as anyone else to be truly happy. 99% of the people I know married whoever they wanted and a surprising number of them seem miserable, whiny, unhappy with their mates and generally dissatisfied. As if they expected perfect bliss and harmony with no work towards it and are frustrated that it did not work out that way. At least people that are in arranged marriages probably come into it knowing they will have to work harder at it from the start.
My childhood sweetheart got "arranged marriage"ed to some idiot. She's still living her life in misery and has not got over me.
Me, on the other hand, have gotten over it, for that's why I am even talking about it without any emotion, while three years ago I was still mentally charged and disintegrated.
She recently sent me her family picture of her husband and newborn baby, she didn't have a child for a long time. Seriously, I thought once that that would be my child. And he's the average dufus of a husband, overweight, MBA, better race, pencil pusher. That's one woman ruined there. Had I married her, she'd have been the happiest woman on the planet. I'd have been the happiest dude too.
But like my father always said when I was destroying myself, it wasn't written that she would be my wife. And that was it. But then, that's why I fled my country. And it's the best thing I ever did. I love the protein shakes, latte venti and corporate America.
Do you want links or the short version? Here's the short version, which makes perfect sense to me, but if you want links too, let me know.
The 50% statistic comes from comparing the number of marriages in a given year to the number of divorces. Even if that number is 50%, and I think it's closer to 35% this year, it doesn't account for all the people who are already married.
Well, looks like that could be right. I should know better than to think pop culture can get anything right.
Still, not too good considering that divorces do not account for people who stay in bad marriages. The dysfunctional rate is probably around 50%.
I think arranged marriages or western style randomness probably represents two extremes. I think people in the West should pay a little more attention to their family and even friends; my brother didn't and he screwed himself.
Antlered Chamataka--
I am sorry it did not work out for you. Did you guys want to get married but everyone said "no?"
Her father staged a suicide drama. They were Parsi folks. They owe their ancestry to the Zoroastrians from Persia and they consider themselves the purest of the pure breeds, they even sound off they are better than Aryans, to this day. I was not. Half of my ancestry were untouchables and that very detail was a panic factor for their family.
She wilted under pressure and I was not in the town. I left my hometown for higher education and then got employed in an even farther place. Then, after a series of bizarre mishappenings it was all over. It disintegrated my life for 2 long years and my downward spiral (sudden reality of the fact that some other man is ******* my longtime woman, it would appear in the ceiling of my bed room like a porno movie and I would have panic attacks and sleeping problems) eventually came to an end when my parents begged me to leave the country for a change of life. I had opportunities from Europe and the US and then I chose America.
I have dissolved into America, nobody asks me of my ancestry. Noone cares, which is great.
My childhood sweetheart got "arranged marriage"ed to some idiot. She's still living her life in misery and has not got over me.
Me, on the other hand, have gotten over it, for that's why I am even talking about it without any emotion, while three years ago I was still mentally charged and disintegrated.
She recently sent me her family picture of her husband and newborn baby, she didn't have a child for a long time. Seriously, I thought once that that would be my child. And he's the average dufus of a husband, overweight, MBA, better race, pencil pusher. That's one woman ruined there. Had I married her, she'd have been the happiest woman on the planet. I'd have been the happiest dude too.
But like my father always said when I was destroying myself, it wasn't written that she would be my wife. And that was it. But then, that's why I fled my country. And it's the best thing I ever did. I love the protein shakes, latte venti and corporate America.
Glad to have you AC. Sounds like hell. With your photogenic nature and charms that leak from the ASCII ink I can tell you are already on the road to recovery. I had my own disintegration freestyle once. You get over it.
Glad to have you AC. Sounds like hell. With your photogenic nature and charms that leak from the ASCII ink I can tell you are already on the road to recovery. I had my own disintegration freestyle once. You get over it.
I can relate to that.
You know it also taught me the lesson not to immerse oneself completely into something, for when it falls apart, you disintegrate.
This is very much like corporate strategy and I know many women will write this off as indifferent and even insensitive to "their" feelings. I've learned from that that a guy should never fully fall in love with a woman. There must at least be 2 degrees of separation which will serve as contingency space, where if something goes wrong, the 2 degrees of separation will serve as the perfect launchpad for the desired escape velocity.
There is no lasting heartbreak, no ceiling nightmares, no sleeping issues, life goes on.
It was very evident in my most recent split, which happened like 2 months ago. I was out of it in a matter of days. The two degrees of separation gave me enough strength to resurrect myself out of grumpy mood swings.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
