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You need to be more specific than just "loners". When you say "loners", I'm thinking of someone who doesn't want to be around ANYONE, EVER. Of course, that would throw a red flag.
Now, if you mean someone who doesn't like to be in the company of many people, most of the time, then you're probably talking about "introverted" people. I am one of those, who much rather prefer to be either alone or with a small group of people. I'm hardly a loner, but I spend a good portion of my spare time alone, doing my own thing. I have fine social skills. I do get shy around women that I'm attracted to and I'm generally a quiet person anyway, but I do talk to people. I can't think of anyone that I've ever met that doesn't like me as a person, honestly.
I guess if someone doesn't know the difference between a loner and an introvert, they would throw a red flag on both. But really, who cares?
You need to be more specific than just "loners". When you say "loners", I'm thinking of someone who doesn't want to be around ANYONE, EVER. Of course, that would throw a red flag.
Now, if you mean someone who doesn't like to be in the company of many people, most of the time, then you're probably talking about "introverted" people. I am one of those, who much rather prefer to be either alone or with a small group of people. I'm hardly a loner, but I spend a good portion of my spare time alone, doing my own thing. I have fine social skills. I do get shy around women that I'm attracted to and I'm generally a quiet person anyway, but I do talk to people. I can't think of anyone that I've ever met that doesn't like me as a person, honestly.
I guess if someone doesn't know the difference between a loner and an introvert, they would throw a red flag on both. But really, who cares?
Are you sure about that? Not to be disrespectful but the term "loner" is usually a slang term that people use to describe someone who isn't as social as they think they should be.
Personally, not really. I mean occasionally I'll meet an introvert and think: I wonder what's hiding under there.
But then again, when it comes down to it, I also want my partner to enjoy social events as much as I do, and I end up getting annoyed when they always want to leave early. :P
Are you sure about that? Not to be disrespectful but the term "loner" is usually a slang term that people use to describe someone who isn't as social as they think they should be.
I see what you're saying, but I was stating that I believe "loner" and "introvert" to be two different things. I believe that "loners" may be those who suffer from a high level of social anxiety, while introverts actually interact well with most people, but just choose to be (or thrive) in smaller groups for deeper interaction or alone to interact with themselves.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408
Personally, not really. I mean occasionally I'll meet an introvert and think: I wonder what's hiding under there.
But then again, when it comes down to it, I also want my partner to enjoy social events as much as I do, and I end up getting annoyed when they always want to leave early. :P
Not all of them are like that. Social events are fine in moderation. Now, if you're going out to clubs every Friday/Saturday night, going to random parties and events during the week; I can see why you wouldn't want to be with an introvert and they probably wouldn't want to be with you either. We love our close, or alone, quiet time.
If I were to attend a social event that was important or exciting to my SO, I wouldn't bug them to leave early. I think that would be pretty rude.
Not all of them are like that. Social events are fine in moderation. Now, if you're going out to clubs every Friday/Saturday night, going to random parties and events during the week; I can see why you wouldn't want to be with an introvert and they probably wouldn't want to be with you either. We love our close, or alone, quiet time.
If I were to attend a social event that was important or exciting to my SO, I wouldn't bug them to leave early. I think that would be pretty rude.
I am the type to close down the party! Hehehe. I know that is too much people time for most introverts. You guys like your people time in small doses. (I have lots of introverted friends). You want more like one day a week of "social events" and most of the time, I like to go to 2-3 a week. And low-key social time another 1-2 days a week....unless I am going through one of my "down" periods. Then I cut back a bit. I.E. 2 days a week. I am totally happy with stuff 3-4 days a week though. That's why it is a bad fit for me.
I believe that "loners" may be those who suffer from a high level of social anxiety, while introverts actually interact well with most people, but just choose to be (or thrive) in smaller groups for deeper interaction or alone to interact with themselves.
Again with the assumptions?
All you're doing is looking at something you don't understand, and dreaming up (invalid) reasons in order wrap a nice bow on it, and say you understand it.
Rather than that - just say you don't understand it. That's perfectly fine..
I don't suffer from social anxiety, the "loners" I work with don't either - we simply don't require the same amount of interaction with others to be happy.
It's a spectrum - the person who spends all his free nights hanging out playing poker with 3 friends, might be considered a "loner" or "boring" to the person who feels the need to be the life of the party at raves etc (or whatever the kids do these days).
My relationship with my wife is more than enough for me.
Social anxiety, lack of ability to communicate, etc not required. Just a social meter that fills much quicker than others..
while introverts actually interact well with most people, but just choose to be (or thrive) in smaller groups for deeper interaction or alone to interact with themselves.
When in college in Southern California and I wanted to go on a ski trip to Lake Tahoe, the thought of going up with a herd of people really put me out. We usually went to Northern California to ski in groups of 2, 3 and 4. It was more relaxing. It made for better conversation during the boring car ride. There was less to coordinate. One summer, a large Hispanic family invited me to go to Tahoe with them and an extended group of their friends and I did. There were all these kids, a lot of chaos, and it wasn't in the slightest bit mentally stimulating. I spent time looking for "space" for some quiet. That was my only trip to Tahoe that I did not like.
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