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We're not drinkers, so I don't see that happening. In fact, her non-drinking is one of the things that attracts me to her.
That's perfectly fine, new approach.
You need to start spending alone time with her more often. Not group of friends hanging out time. Go do things together, study together, go out to dinner together. Don't mention them as "dates", just ask her to do them and make it sound like fun. Girls just wanna have fun dude. Then after you are out laughing and having a great time, look in her eyes, if she's making eye contact with you, kiss her.
Don't use words, don't tell her you want to be more than friends, don't say "wanna go on a date"? That's gonna scare her and make you look like a huge p*ssy. Just go out and have fun and lay the kiss on.
You will find out really quick if she likes you or not. If she turns her head or dodges the kiss or pulls away fast, then she doesn't like you. If you really really want to still be friends, then just say "I got caught up in the fun moment".
Ask yourself this question, or ask your friends...how many people do you know that landed their gf by telling her straight up how they feel or pouring their guts out to them? Answer: NONE. They all say "oh it just happened" but the guy really knows he just played it cool, spent one on one time, then laid the kiss on her and she THINKS it "just happened".
The drunk-kiss approach? Dude, you should write a book.
But remember "SuperBad" .. that fat guy tried the drunk-kiss approach you invented and it didn't turn out so well at first... but that is probably b.c the girl he tried it on was completely sober.. but in the end they got together anyways..
I still say, just invite her over for a late night movie.. if she comes over she will likely think you want to do more than watch a movie...
see how close she sits by you, if she's nervously excited (talks a lot), etc...
if she sits 12inches away from ya, eventually scoot 4 inches closer to her, see if she eventually comes closer.. etc...
WOMEN READ BODY LANGUAGE - that is a secret that young men and some older men need to know and remember...
you can tell her that you want to get closer without actually moving right on her lap or saying anything about it.. Just have your body pointed more towards her than the tv.. don't cross your arms, maybe put your arm that's nearest her up on the couch, etc...
1. This isn't even my material, read "The System" by Doc Love (cheezy author name, but this guy is legit and tells you how it is straight up.)
2. Movie idea is a good one, forgot about movie nights.
3. This isn't a move to just get in her pants, this is showing her you're interested. If she accuses you of just trying to get in her pants, then she's a paranoid girl who probably has major baggage and you just saved yourself time, money, and heartbreak because now you can stop calling her.
You need to start spending alone time with her more often. Not group of friends hanging out time. Go do things together, study together, go out to dinner together. Don't mention them as "dates", just ask her to do them and make it sound like fun. Girls just wanna have fun dude. Then after you are out laughing and having a great time, look in her eyes, if she's making eye contact with you, kiss her.
Don't use words, don't tell her you want to be more than friends, don't say "wanna go on a date"? That's gonna scare her and make you look like a huge p*ssy. Just go out and have fun and lay the kiss on.
You will find out really quick if she likes you or not. If she turns her head or dodges the kiss or pulls away fast, then she doesn't like you. If you really really want to still be friends, then just say "I got caught up in the fun moment".
Ask yourself this question, or ask your friends...how many people do you know that landed their gf by telling her straight up how they feel or pouring their guts out to them? Answer: NONE. They all say "oh it just happened" but the guy really knows he just played it cool, spent one on one time, then laid the kiss on her and she THINKS it "just happened".
Go with that.
Wow. That's what's gonna scare the crap out of her! Your'e just hanging out with her as friends and all of a sudden you just out of nowhere lay a kiss on her?
I know you people are trying to help, but the responses I am getting just make this issue seem even more complicated...especially when the other posters disagree over what the best approach is.
I know you people are trying to help, but the responses I am getting just make this issue seem even more complicated...especially when the other posters disagree over what the best approach is.
Man, nobody is going to agree on everything..
Here's the score so far:
Just ask her out - 5
Ask her out, but ask out other chicks as well - 2
Start off as friends first - 2
The winner: Just ask her out.
Go back and re-read my post. And then, go back and look at what Yankee said. The damn Yankee chick has always been spot on, so I'd take that for certain. Personally, I'd forget about what that dreamin' man says, he's just making it out to be a booty call. If that's all ya want, then sure, he might have a point.. just depends on what you're looking for.
As far as starting off as friends.. well, in my experience, and I'm sure most will agree, starting off as friends only leads to...well... friendship.
Just ask her out - 5
Ask her out, but ask out other chicks as well - 2
Start off as friends first - 2
The winner: Just ask her out.
Go back and re-read my post. And then, go back and look at what Yankee said. The damn Yankee chick has always been spot on, so I'd take that for certain. Personally, I'd forget about what that dreamin' man says, he's just making it out to be a booty call. If that's all ya want, then sure, he might have a point.. just depends on what you're looking for.
As far as starting off as friends.. well, in my experience, and I'm sure most will agree, starting off as friends only leads to...well... friendship.
Hope that helps..
It's not as simple as that. Right on this page, for example, we have someone telling me to kiss her out of the blue and someone else saying that's the worst plan ever.
Something else that scares me is the uncertainty of if I ask her out and she says yes, are we technically a couple yet? If not, then how long will we have to wait? I always thought you ask someone out, they say yes, then you're a couple...but apparently not everyone thinks that way (this is based on people I know in real life).
It's not as simple as that. Right on this page, for example, we have someone telling me to kiss her out of the blue and someone else saying that's the worst plan ever.
Something else that scares me is the uncertainty of if I ask her out and she says yes, are we technically a couple yet? If not, then how long will we have to wait? I always thought you ask someone out, they say yes, then you're a couple...but apparently not everyone thinks that way (this is based on people I know in real life).
Don't ask her out on a official date like "would you go out on a date with me?" Just ask her if she wants to go do something and you should decide what that will be and where andsee if she agrees if it sounds fun, but don't ask her what about everything. And as far as kissing no don't kiss her out of the blue. If you are getting good vibes and she seems like she is in to you when the right time approaches like when you to are holding hands or flirting then kiss her in a confident way.
And no you are not a couple just because you go out even if it is a date. Be calm and fun about it and don't expect too much but if she likes you and if you get that first passionate kiss in you have her closer to being hooked.
That kiss and its impression is the deciding factor about how she will view you probably it is the line that seperates Johnny the friend and Johnny oh my Johnny. But use your judgement for when it feels like the right time you don't want to force it.
You don't put time count downs or limits on things like this.
Wow. That's what's gonna scare the crap out of her! Your'e just hanging out with her as friends and all of a sudden you just out of nowhere lay a kiss on her?
Some of the worst game I ever heard.
I disagree I understand what he is trying to say. Imagine this scenerio...
Two girls who are friends get together for lunch...
Gina- "so what did you do last night Tina?"
Tina- "oh I went out with Mike"
Gina- "oh yeah did you have fun?"
Tina- "well yeah, he is really sweet, really nice , he listens alot, he seems shy but he is really a nice guy, nothing happened he is a real gentleman"."He walked me to the door and kissed me on the cheek"
Gina- "awww that is so cute, are you going out with him again?"
Tina- "well yeah he is really a nice guy but I'm not looking for a boyfriend we are just friends"
Gina- "yeah I know what you mean, after Dave I don't want a guy for a while"
Tina- "so what did you do last night?"
Gina- "oh I went to a party, there were alot of people there".
Tina- "yeah any hot guys?"
Gina- "well yeah"
Tina- "and?"
Gina- "well I met this guy Don, he had the most awesome eyes,he saw me glancing at him and came over to me, he was kind of cocky but real sweet. We talked for a while and he was really interesting and funny, and he just kissed me, and he kisses sooo good I can't believe I let him".
Tina- "oh wow that is hot,you always have the luck, does he have any friends"?
Gina- well yeah he has a yummy looking friend but what about Mike?"
Tina- "oh we are just friends and you know I'm not looking for a boyfriend"
Gina- "yeah no boyfriend for me either but....Don..hmmmmm I really want to get to know him"
I disagree I understand what he is trying to say. Imagine this scenerio...
Two girls who are friends get together for lunch...
Gina- "so what did you do last night Tina?"
Tina- "oh I went out with Mike"
Gina- "oh yeah did you have fun?"
Tina- "well yeah, he is really sweet, really nice , he listens alot, he seems shy but he is really a nice guy, nothing happened he is a real gentleman"."He walked me to the door and kissed me on the cheek"
Gina- "awww that is so cute, are you going out with him again?"
Tina- "well yeah he is really a nice guy but I'm not looking for a boyfriend we are just friends"
Gina- "yeah I know what you mean, after Dave I don't want a guy for a while"
Tina- "so what did you do last night?"
Gina- "oh I went to a party, there were alot of people there".
Tina- "yeah any hot guys?"
Gina- "well yeah"
Tina- "and?"
Gina- "well I met this guy Don, he had the most awesome eyes,he saw me glancing at him and came over to me, he was kind of cocky but real sweet. We talked for a while and he was really interesting and funny, and he just kissed me, and he kisses sooo good I can't believe I let him".
Tina- "oh wow that is hot,you always have the luck, does he have any friends"?
Gina- well yeah he has a yummy looking friend but what about Mike?"
Tina- "oh we are just friends and you know I'm not looking for a boyfriend?"
The thing is, in your example, this guy Don did it right from the beginning. He did not wait to show that he was a fun, romantic guy. If you let yourself wander too far into the friend zone, then all of a sudden try to pull something like that, you will freak her out.
Lionking has the right idea. The OP is way over thinking this and getting ahead of himself. He should just go on a casual outing with her (ex. coffee) and talk to her. He needs to take her somewhere off campus, keep the conversation on subjects which will get her to think of him in a romantic way, touch her lightly and casually every now and then to get her used to him touching her ( casually, on the upper arm or shoulder, no groping yet) then if it goes well, mention a second more formal date. No movies. Movies or fancy dinners don't give you the opportunity to have a meaningful conversation.
True "Don" did it from the beginning which is why the longer it drags out the more less likely she will see him as more than a friend. There may be exceptions but generally a girl knows what she likes when she meets a guy and while it may not happen instantly the motion of progress toward attraction needs to start. While there is no time limit per say being out with a girl about how fast it progresses beating around the bush is likely to make her loose interest.
Don took control and set the guide about what is possible for Gina and him, but he still needs to show her more by further dates. However Gina already decided he is possible boyfriend material because he made her feel like a woman not just a friend. The fact is Gina actually initiated contact by giving Don a sign but he then confidently followed through. You beat around the bush too much you end up being Mike and after Gina introduces Tina to Don's friend Mike is going to hear Tina's rants about Don's friend because Mike is her friend only and Mike being the nice guy he is will listen to it when inside he is exploding about the fact that he was proving how sincere and how he was willing to wait and how he is now chopped liver compared to Don's friend she met.
Last edited by lionking; 11-04-2009 at 12:10 AM..
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