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Old 11-02-2009, 09:47 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,941,923 times
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I think if you're going to say it you have to be prepared for the possibility that you're not going to hear it back.

I've never been the first to say it, or to say it at all, but I think it's a wonderful thing to hear - and also requires a delicate hand on the receiving end.
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Old 11-02-2009, 09:50 PM
 
Location: DFW
40,920 posts, read 48,828,683 times
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One month is too soon to say the love word. Maybe he should have said I really like you a lot and hope we can build our relationship

If they were at a party where there was a lot of noise & music, I'd bet he said..

I think I'm in Lust
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Old 11-03-2009, 12:06 AM
 
1,322 posts, read 2,406,452 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by valeeighty2 View Post
Alright, I am back form some advice, as I am in no position to give it... you all remember my friend who is dating the "rare male specimen" If you do not please follow the link below to understand the issue...

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...-specimen.html

In any case, they have been dating for about one month or so... and at a Halloween party this past Saturday he said "I think it is safe to say that I am in Love with you"

My friend, did not know how to respond, she likes the dude a lot, she thinks there is a deep connection, mind you they have not had sex yet, but she is freaking out now, she does not think she is ready to Be In Love but she wants to, she told him this, and he said he was a patient man.

Do you think it was too soon for him to say it? How soon is too soon? They know each other pretty well, they talk/e-mail all day every day, they see each other as often as they can during the week.

What do you think?
It depends on a lot of things, but I don't think there's a time limit, as long as when it's said, it's the truth.

I've known people that met, fell in love, and three or four months later, got married.. and are still together today.

I've also known people that have had less than perfect relationships.. in other words, someone said those three little words and all of a sudden the SS came to take them away.

If the guy is honest, and he's serious about what he said, then that's his thing. If your "friend" doesn't feel the same, then she should just be honest about it. If he truly loves her, he'll respect her.. no matter what.
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Old 11-03-2009, 07:21 AM
 
Location: Falls Church, VA
748 posts, read 1,309,690 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
One month is too soon to say the love word. Maybe he should have said I really like you a lot and hope we can build our relationship

If they were at a party where there was a lot of noise & music, I'd bet he said..

I think I'm in Lust
lol...
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Old 11-03-2009, 07:23 AM
 
Location: Falls Church, VA
748 posts, read 1,309,690 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanBlasphemy View Post
It depends on a lot of things, but I don't think there's a time limit, as long as when it's said, it's the truth.

I've known people that met, fell in love, and three or four months later, got married.. and are still together today.

I've also known people that have had less than perfect relationships.. in other words, someone said those three little words and all of a sudden the SS came to take them away.

If the guy is honest, and he's serious about what he said, then that's his thing. If your "friend" doesn't feel the same, then she should just be honest about it. If he truly loves her, he'll respect her.. no matter what.
she told him so... he said he could wait... I mean, they are already making plans for next year!!! I do not understand...
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Old 11-03-2009, 07:25 AM
 
Location: Falls Church, VA
748 posts, read 1,309,690 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spinx View Post
I think if you're going to say it you have to be prepared for the possibility that you're not going to hear it back.
I agree with this... there should be NO pressure to respond... and I do not think she is under any pressure but her own doubts...
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Old 11-03-2009, 07:30 AM
 
Location: Falls Church, VA
748 posts, read 1,309,690 times
Reputation: 429
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
If you haven't been together long enough to get into an argument, then you probably haven't been together long enough to profess your love of that person.
I do not agree with this... there are lots of couples I know that have never had an argument/fight and they are very happy together, and have been for a long time...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
You're barely passed the infatuation stage at the one month mark.
This is true... "escobita nueva siempre barre bien" is what grandma always says... I think they are going through their "honeymoon" stage sort of speak?
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Old 11-03-2009, 07:33 AM
 
Location: Falls Church, VA
748 posts, read 1,309,690 times
Reputation: 429
Quote:
Originally Posted by netwit View Post
I don't think there's necessarily a time limit on love. Me, I have always fallen hard and fast and tend to think that the folks who spend a lot of time before they 'decide' they are in love, probably aren't in love.

The difference is, like your friend, I don't say it first or easily. Men will say almost anything to get into your pants and "I love you" is no different. So in my single days I was just not willing to put my heart on the line before I knew what "I love you" meant to him.

I think there's a bigger danger of women saying "I love you" too soon as opposed to men. Women seem to take those words more seriously. At least, that is how it was with me.

But I remember your post about the 'rare male speciman' not wanting to have sex, and my first thought was he wanted to get her to let down her guard and then pounce. But then I remembered that my brother was exactly the same way.

He fell for a woman with a 'healthy' libido, who was much more worldly and experienced than he was, and to whom it was downright weird for him to not want to have sex straight away. (This story came out at their wedding, as that woman is now my sister-in-law!). He had told her he wanted to 'take it slow.'

So on a skiiing trip, with separate rooms, she somehow got into his room and seduced him. They married a few months later.

So far, and three kids (twins) later, they are living happily-ever-after and judging from the public displays of affection, can't keep their hands off each other.

It can happen. It's just really rare, I think.

How wonderful!!! awesome happy ending... don't I wish my marriage would have ended that way
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