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Alot of you guys sound pretty selfish, poor kids, atleast you know that if you dating a guy that takes care of his kids and stays involved in their lives is a good responsible person, with a good heart.
I'm sorry, I'm not a charity. If I am to get involved with somebody, I want a man who has the time and emotional availability to love me. Otherwise I've no use for him.
I feel for the poor hungry kids in Somalia, too, but that's not a good enough reason to date their fathers.
I did but we dated for 6 months before I wanted to meet the kids. We got our relationship going before the kids were brought in. We saw each other most nights since he didn't have custody of them. He had them two evenings a week and every other weekend.
Only when we became semi-serious did I want to meet the kids. Actually, I never imagined myself with a divorced man with kids so I had to get use to the idea. The more I liked him the more I was open to it. And yes, it is harder to take on the responsibility, especially with an ex from hell to deal with also. But we made it. Married in '91 and never regretted it.
Not saying I would never do it but I do hesitate. It's something I would think about a lot. I would prefer grown children, no children, or at least living somewhere else. I've seen a lot of these relationships fail because the kids tend to get in the way. Not maliciously, but kids will be kids and they are a lot of work. The every other weekend thing would be fine and I wouldn't have any issues about being on my own 2 weekends a month. Gives me time to catch up on other things.
Next, I don't have any children so I'm not really comfortable around them. I'm not sure what's expected of me and how to act. I would need education, experience, and guidance.
I know for sure I don't want to sign up to be the MOM of your 7 children under the age of 6. I know my limitations!
LOL, after reading through this post I am kinda amazed. Personally, I feel my hubby's divorce made him more aware of my needs. Kinda like the first woman broke him in and he feels he did something wrong in their marriage. He never takes me for granted. Maybe he was always that way but he is a terrific husband.
I don't date guys with kids. It has nothing to do with being jealous of the time he spends with them. If a guy has kids, they should be his first priority and any woman who dates him needs to accept and support that.
I have never wanted kids. Lots of women make the choice to not have kids. There's nothing wrong with that. Not dating a guy because he has kids isn't selfish, it's just an honest acknowledgment that we are not compatible in a critical aspect of a relationship.
I think most need to know what they can handle and do not want. Just saying maybe those who shut the door on certain things are missing out. Yes, I hated the fact I had to put up with the ex's demands and the kids going through their teen years but if I didn't have that it might have been a mother-in-law from hell or something else. Nothing comes without struggle.
The kids are grown and married and on their own now. we would like to see more of them actually. The ex is out of our hair now and we don't see her but once or twice a year if that much. A mother-in-law would be around much longer. LOL Both of our parents are gone and we now have two grandkids. Not much different than any other family.
Single women with no kids, do you hesitate to date guys w kids?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LEVOW
Alot of single girls that i know, have told me that they hesitate to date guys w kids, because their kinda selfish and dont like sharing the guys w his kids. They get upset that on the weekends that the guys have their kids, they cant go out or do anything w them, do you single ladies, hesitate to date guys w kids?
YES!! I refuse to date any man with kids. Especially if the kids were ill behaved. I've felt that way all of my life.
I wouldn't like it if a guy had to spend every Saturday night with his children and excluded me, which was the case in one situation.
However, I've reached an age of maturity where I am not threatened by that type of relationship, nor do I wish to be selfish. To the contrary. I'd like to hook up with someone with children for a variety of reasons.
I'd be more concerned about the quality of the man than whether or not he has kids. Yes, there are the ex wives and all that blahblahblah, but I'd still be interested in how well he takes care of those issues because he'd probably deal with me in a similar manner.
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