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Have you ever viewed yourself in a way that you really weren't???
Like did you think you were fat, but weren't much at all?
Did you think you were a friendly, caring person but were actually pretty selfish and not too nice?
Did you think you knew a lot about something in particular or about everything in general, but actually didn't know anything much at all?
I'm assuming that all of us have made false judgments about ourselves only later to realize how wrong we were. Sometimes these falsehoods come to light an hour later, or even a decade later.
I'm assuming that these false images of ourselves do cause tremendous difficulties in our lives and forever change our destinies. Even as we age, we might still have many of these illusions.. but I'm guessing most of them occur while in the schooling years and 20's..
And this does have very much to do with relationships, because if we can so badly mistake who we are or how we look or what we do, how can we expect someone else to truly love us for us? Does your partner only love you for your false mirage you proudly glare, would he/she still be there if your true self was exposed? Or does your partner actually know your true self more than you could ever know your own self? Is it just a blindness we have as humans not to be able to look inward?
It's not so much what we think -rather that we don't listen to it - mostly the subconscience.
And what lies hidden in the subconcious mind? As it's been said: the subsconcious mind is the biggest liar of all.
Use Freud's tactics to find out what's down in that basement. He'd open up a question and ask of a patient: What is it that irks you the most about people? What do you hate the most about people?
Eversince reading that, I've slipped that question into many a conversation with propective mates and others, and if you're patient enough, you'll see it all unravel before your very eyes, with time.
Sometimes all you have to do is eavesdrop on those stating their hates/dislikes.
Then, with time, the laughs begin. Hate can turn to love in a split second, love can turn to hate in a split second.
And if you want to torture that person, recall what that person said x amount of time ago.
I stop myself cold when I develop a new hatred in my life. It should be taken as an alarm bell.
Come back, you've wandered too far away with your dreams..
Actually, good questions.
I believe that our reality is based on perception. If everyone you know tells you how good you look, don't you start to believe that? But, what if everyone is just saying that to be nice, and you're a hideous monster? Still, our reality is that we're good looking, so if that's all that we know how can we ever know any different?
Someone once told me, "If you're born in the slums, you'll die in the slums. Everyone is a product of their environment."
It was an old history professor of mine, and the thing is, he was right. Well, for the most part, there are exceptions, but the concept he was getting to was right. If you've only been exposed to one type of person, and take on the traits of that one time of person, then that's all you'll ever know.
But, five years down the road, you meet a different type of person. Well, then you have a frame of reference to go by, and you realize that you wern't who you thought you were.
The key is this: Know yourself to the best of your ability. When you learn new things, apply them, and grow a little more wiser.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ManGoneADreamin
Have you ever viewed yourself in a way that you really weren't???
Like did you think you were fat, but weren't much at all?
Did you think you were a friendly, caring person but were actually pretty selfish and not too nice?
Did you think you knew a lot about something in particular or about everything in general, but actually didn't know anything much at all?
I'm assuming that all of us have made false judgments about ourselves only later to realize how wrong we were. Sometimes these falsehoods come to light an hour later, or even a decade later.
I'm assuming that these false images of ourselves do cause tremendous difficulties in our lives and forever change our destinies. Even as we age, we might still have many of these illusions.. but I'm guessing most of them occur while in the schooling years and 20's..
And this does have very much to do with relationships, because if we can so badly mistake who we are or how we look or what we do, how can we expect someone else to truly love us for us? Does your partner only love you for your false mirage you proudly glare, would he/she still be there if your true self was exposed? Or does your partner actually know your true self more than you could ever know your own self? Is it just a blindness we have as humans not to be able to look inward?
I agree with the OP. There are lies that people tell themselves that have no basis on reality. Some people think they are extremely hot, others think they are very imperfect, and the truth is, that they are not really dealing with facts, but beliefs. I have an extensive history of dealing with people that live in a sort of cloud, that is all an illusion. People who don't ask questions because they think they already know, and if someone were to tell them otherwise, they wouldn't beleive it. I don't know about others here on CD,and their experiences, but it has been my experience, that many people don't actually know stuff. They simply beleive stuff.
Well...lots of thoughts go through a person's mind on a day to day basis. Some of those thoughts are true/in touch with reality, others aren't. I smile every time someone claims he/she is sure of what another person around is thinking. We have this way of assuming that we're right. And that's because the world suddenly because unsafe and you don't have stability if you can't rely on the perceptions that you form, to be true.
Bottom line is, we're all a work in progress. That's what life is. As for relationships and the person you're with, yes, it's a bit of a mirage at the beginning. But they can't claim to know you perfectly. Even you don't know yourself perfectly (this is exactly what this post is about). Sure, they discover some flaws in you, some they get used to and accept, others they will try to change. But for the most part, a realistic person that really loves someone will realize that no one is perfect and will take the whole package, flaws and all. That's why 'for better or for worse' keeps getting mentioned, when 'for worse' can sometimes mean 'why the hell did you leave the toothpaste cap off again?'
Someone once told me, "If you're born in the slums, you'll die in the slums. Everyone is a product of their environment."
Too bad your history professor didn't read more literature. Had he, he probably would have come across this little gem by Oscar Wilde: "We're all in the gutter, but some of us have our eyes on the stars."
I was born in the slums, UB, as was my wife ... but neither of us ever lived there.
Well , power of our mind is underrated sometimes.
I think it all starts and ends with it.
I think its a process not heart & brain , its brain -heart-brain.Cause at the end, it always wins.
And as a joke or not, the mind always does good when heart makes a mistake.
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