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ok question....if you met someone and they lets say distorted the truth, in order to make it seem like you had a shared interest, so you would go out with them/like them...and then sometime down the line you figured out the other person was not telling the truth about this interest....is this something to get upset about ?????
I would think it depends on the depth of the lie. If it's just a general interest and maybe they're trying to get into something b/c they know you're into it then I think that's cool b/c it shows they're interested in you and what you like. But if they're hiding something then that may be a sign of things to come, little lies now... bigger lies later? :\ Can you give a little more info on the situation?
Until you know you are interested and you are "interviewing" each other, there's NO point in being an open book. I've sometimes decided after a month, or two, or three that this is NOT who I want to be with.
ok - i am really into art in a big way, i enjoy art history, creating art, talking about art and so do most of my friends-it a big thing in my life. I met this guy at a gallery- we just talked about generally stuff not art- assumed he was interested in art as he was at the gallery (turns out he just went along with friends for something to do). Anyway he asked for my number. We talk on the phone and go out a bit- i tell him about my interest in art (obviously). So here is the thing he lets me talk about art ALOT and lets me believe he enjoys art on the same level....i have to admit i was a little suspect of him because some of the things he said about art did quiet 'fit'....at one point i asked if art was really his thing and he said it was..... Now a little down the track it is clear that all this was B.S! ...i have spoken to him about it he said it wasnt a lie because he does like art, sort of...just not in the same way I do...so it wasn' really a lie! Am I over-reacting ? I feel lied to ?
Hmmm yeah I can see why you're a bit miffed here, and I'd say that this is a pretty mild deceit in my opinion. I would think if he owns up to it and then maybe expresses a desire to learn more (it's always cool to teach someone about your passion if they are genuinely interested) then that's great. But if he keeps pretending that he's into it and in all honesty doesn't like it or have no interest in learning about it then maybe that's something to consider as to whether or not you're into him.
Question is, how important is it to you that he likes art? You can still have a good time if you don't have all of the same interests. Also think of other things you might have in common. You can always playfully confront him with it and maybe he'll fess up and you can go from there.
ok - i am really into art in a big way, i enjoy art history, creating art, talking about art and so do most of my friends-it a big thing in my life. I met this guy at a gallery- we just talked about generally stuff not art- assumed he was interested in art as he was at the gallery (turns out he just went along with friends for something to do). Anyway he asked for my number. We talk on the phone and go out a bit- i tell him about my interest in art (obviously). So here is the thing he lets me talk about art ALOT and lets me believe he enjoys art on the same level....i have to admit i was a little suspect of him because some of the things he said about art did quiet 'fit'....at one point i asked if art was really his thing and he said it was..... Now a little down the track it is clear that all this was B.S! ...i have spoken to him about it he said it wasnt a lie because he does like art, sort of...just not in the same way I do...so it wasn' really a lie! Am I over-reacting ? I feel lied to ?
I would agree with him on this. It looks like you made the assumption he was really into art. So unless he said something that indicated more interest than he really has, I'd give him the benefit here. It sounds like he was expressing interest in what you are interested in. What will be important is if he makes efforts to share your interest in the future.
ok question....if you met someone and they lets say distorted the truth, in order to make it seem like you had a shared interest, so you would go out with them/like them...and then sometime down the line you figured out the other person was not telling the truth about this interest....is this something to get upset about ?????
It depends on what the interest is and how understanding the two people are.
If I met someone and I told them I love the LA Philharmonic and she said "so do I" then later on in the relationship I say "Ive got tickets to see Esa-Pekka Salonen" only to have her say "what is that?" I would know she told me a lie just to impress me. Not so much of a big deal. But if I told her that I love taking weekend road trips to wine country and doing wine tasting and she says "I Love that too" then later on I find out that she doesnt like wine or vineyards then we may have a problem. Again, it depends on what it is.
Doesn't sound like a big deal, they may not be into in it as deep as you are. Doesn't necessarily mean they are a fraud.
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You can always playfully confront him with it and maybe he'll fess up and you can go from there.
