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...because this damn question has been asked so many times in the last couple weeks. I would start one with "How to meet guys", but since I'm a guy, that would be just a bit weird..
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So, you've found yourself at church(or at the supermarket, or at the coffee house, or at the brothel,) and you see a cute girl and want to say hi. You're heart's pounding against your chest like a sledgehammer, your hands are all cold and sweaty, and you find that those words that you keep rehearsing in your head just won't roll of your tongue like some smooth saying from Don Juan himself. What do you do?
Meeting girls is easy. I mean that. Here's a few tips:
Women are drawn to men with confidence. I've never met a woman who'll walk up to the shy guy sitting in the corner with his head ducked low and ask him out on a date. It doesn't happen. So, before you even think about dating, work on your confidence. Easiest way to do that is to force yourself to talk to everyone you meet. Make it a rule that you have to make at least one person laugh every day. What that does is help you realize that you don't have to be afraid of people, and it'll make you feel better about yourself when someone responds positively. Confidence is easy to build, but nobody can do that but you. You have to go out and take control of your world.. By doing this, you gain that special confidence that women so admire.
Forget about flirting. That's right.. Forget about it. As soon as you decide that you're going to go flirt with someone, that's when you get nervous. Instead, just talk to them like you would talk to anyone.. Focus on making them smile, making them laugh.. Have a real conversation with them. You never know, you might enjoy the conversation so much that you don't even realize how nervous you were.. Right?
Have a good sense of humor. In a way, this goes back to that whole confidence thing. Think about it, when was the last time you really enjoyed the company of someone who completly bored you to tears? Don't be afraid to tease the girl a little.. Personally, I do this everywhere I go, even if I'm not interested in the girl. It's become so natural that I don't even think about it. Now don't be rude here, you don't want to offend the person.. The goal is to make them laugh. How you do it is up to you, it all has to do with your personality. When I see a girl that I like, I take a look at things around her: What she's wearing, what she's doing, etc.. and then I pick something and make a joke about it. If she's at work and looks tired, I'll tease her about staying up too late partying. If we're at a coffee shop and she's reading a book on astrology, I'll make a comment about the idea of all girls being into that, typical woman.. but I'll do it in a lighthearted way that shows her I'm joking. Above all, just be yourself.
Tease her. Same as above, but I wanted to place importance on this. Things really haven't changed much since you were a kid. Remember cooties and chasing the girls around the playground? Yeah, it's not much different. Just that this time, you Want to catch cooties... if you know what I mean. Just keep things light and playful.. that goes a long way with the ladies.
Above and beyond everything else, Always be yourself. Sure, it sounds cliche, but if you think about it, it makes sense. You're true nature is going to come out eventually, right? Lets assume that you get the date and end up in a semi-serious relationship. What happens later on when this chick finds out that you're really a techno-geek that has all of the Star Trek collectible items? Right, you might as well hang it up right then and there. If you start out by being natural, then as the relationship progresses, you won't have anything to fear. Besides, you'll feel more comfortable talking about things that you're interested in.
So now you've got her attention.. how do you know she's into you?
Watch her body language. Look for things like eye contact, or her leaning towards you when you talk, or her touching herself (playing with her hair, putting her hands to her mouth, etc), and so on and so forth..
She playfully hits you or touches you. I think this is obvious, but I had to list it.
She giggles. I love that sound when I can make a girl giggle.. there's nothing mo' bettah than that.
She listens to you and asks questions. She's interested in what you have to say..
She calls you names. Not derogatory names, that's bad.. but when a girl says that you're crazy, or silly, or funny, or even cute.. there's a good chance she's into you.
And then there's the obvious signs: She gives you her number, or her email.. she asks you out on a date..
Cool, so now that you know that she's into you, what next?
It's time to go. Unless you're really into the conversation, or there have been plans for another date, it's better to leave on a high note. Some might disagree, but I've found that it heightens the anticipation for the next meeting..
Get her number. It's as easy as it sounds. "Hey, it's been real, but I gotta get going. Write down your number and I'll give ya a call so we can continue this later on." Personal preference, I never ask for a phone number, I always just tell them to write it down, like above. Do whatever feels comfortable to you.
Finally, call her and set up a date. Have fun with it.
Remember, no games. Always be yourself, no matter what. There are no rules for dating, and there's no set formula. Nobody can tell you specifically how to pick up a girl, what to say or do, that's all you. Simply put, live your life the best you can, and always be true to yourself.
Urban, great post and hopefully this can weed out some of the redundancy here on CD.
I agree with most of what you said, but I would definitely underscore for some of you less than savvy woman hunters, DO NOT make yourself too available.
If you drum up some good conversation with a girl you're really attracted to, just chill and wait and see if she reciprocates with interest then get a number or something.
You will starve if you're an overzealous fisherman who jumps straight into the water trying to grope and grab the fish.
Aight, ya'll git in tha truck, we goin' up to tha big house, we gettin' us sum chicks up dare..
Remind me never to use the term "chick" to describe a lady.. I might get randomly PC'd.
In a way, I was protecting you there bud.
If I didn't, the neo-feminist armies would go back on the march. And we all saw what they did to Poland.
Or was that Nazi Germany? I get confused.
I have to admit as well, trucks are great for getting women. Just don't put it in reverse and hit the brakes really hard suddenly. They tend to get airbourne.
UB, you just completely nailed it on how to meet chicks. Lets hope all those loser guys who have been starting those ridiculous threads lately read your post and take it to heart.
Forget about flirting. That's right.. Forget about it.
But then you said
Quote:
Have a good sense of humor. In a way, this goes back to that whole confidence thing. Think about it, when was the last time you really enjoyed the company of someone who completly bored you to tears? Don't be afraid to tease the girl a little.. Personally, I do this everywhere I go, even if I'm not interested in the girl. It's become so natural that I don't even think about it. Now don't be rude here, you don't want to offend the person.. The goal is to make them laugh. How you do it is up to you, it all has to do with your personality. When I see a girl that I like, I take a look at things around her: What she's wearing, what she's doing, etc.. and then I pick something and make a joke about it. If she's at work and looks tired, I'll tease her about staying up too late partying. If we're at a coffee shop and she's reading a book on astrology, I'll make a comment about the idea of all girls being into that, typical woman.. but I'll do it in a lighthearted way that shows her I'm joking. Above all, just be yourself.
Tease her. Same as above, but I wanted to place importance on this. Things really haven't changed much since you were a kid. Remember cooties and chasing the girls around the playground? Yeah, it's not much different. Just that this time, you Want to catch cooties... if you know what I mean. Just keep things light and playful.. that goes a long way with the ladies.
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