When a guy doesn't help you move (college, divorce, sleeping)
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seriously. back to mind reading. circular arguments. peace out.
Look at it this way then...you have two conclusions. Either he knew you were asking for help, or he didn't understand you were asking for help.
If it's the first one, then he's a bad boyfriend OR you're just not good enough in bed to make him want to waste his weekend on you. If it's the second, he's a decent guy and you just need to improve your communication skills.
Choose which one you'd rather it be, and go from there. I rather pity him though, with a whiny self-centered girlfriend like you, I doubt the relationship is really "exclusive" like you say.
Choose which one you'd rather it be, and go from there. I rather pity him though, with a whiny self-centered girlfriend like you, I doubt the relationship is really "exclusive" like you say.
and the name calling continues. don't hate b/c i'm not a cougar.
Definitely two camps on this, as there are on many similar issues. Some men will gladly do the chores if their wives ask; some wives wonder, "Well, if we're a team and it's OUR house, why do I even have to ask?!!!"
I see both sides of this. I just refuse to accept the inconsiderate side - meaning the side that does not consider their circumstances and how the people around them might want or need.
Hi stan4,
You confuse the economy of marriage with dating. I have no input in the dating silent demand. I have negotiated with my wife openly and honestly.
YOU don't get it, GIRL! You dated for 2 whole freakin' months which means you actually saw him what, a maximum of 8 times? Give the rest of the world a break - your chit DOES stink just like everyone else's. You aren't the helpless idiot you claim to be. If you are, then you have no business moving anywhere but into a nursing home. Taking care of yourself means getting the help to move that you need - not waiting around for some poor sucker to offer. Pull up your big girl plastic coated panties and start taking care of yourself instead of waiting for others. Independence is a very strong aphrodisiac.
He owed you nothing. I hope you do the right thing by the poor sucker and tell him "so long" so he can go find himself a woman!
It's nice if he does offer, but he isn't under any obligation to do so--especially if she got herself other people to help already. If she wanted his help, she should have asked. Personally, I find the fewer people involved in a move the better it is--otherwise it just gets to be a "cluster****". No one knows what's going on, everyone is working around everyone else...
1. Because I like him, I'm attracted to him. He is interesting to talk to, and we have a compatible sense of humor. He's intellectually stimulating. I'm not bored by him. It's not everyday you meet someone you have chemistry with. I see potential. The list goes on. But in the end, I want a caring individual, which is why this bothers me. And he hasn't really demonstrated in any other way that he is...caring. Which is my only complaint, though a serious one. Down the road, I want someone there through the thick and thin, not someone who's only around when things are easy. I'm not sure what you mean by the aloofness.
I had the feeling he was something. If he knows he is something and has options, you may have your work cut out. Men appear more self confident when not trying to (always)please you so that can work on you like it or not. Also he is making his own calculation. Why didn't she ask me to help? She does not want it? She assumes it? Both are bad.
Let me give you some useful advice . Next time create a little project for him to help you with. This time flirt with him and smile. If you really want something done, offer a reward. It worked for eons. That will also work the rest of your life.
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2. I don't consider helping me move a few things serious. Like I said before, I didn't expect him to organize my move, I was prepared without him, but the gesture would've been nice. I don't ask for anything I don't expect of myself. Like it's been said, some people don't wait around to be asked when they see an opportunity to be helpful.
I am honestly telling you I would see some sort of compliance test by you not asking me. I have been through these. I speak from experience
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I don't understand why you keep bringing up charity. Dating is a 2 way street. Sorry, but I think I'd be quite turned off if he treated me like some sort of charity. And lastly, I don't want someone easy. Easy is meaningless. I don't want a doormat. I want a partner.
I agree dating is a 2 way street. I am telling you that your are screening for a doormat. That is why you should offer the request to him. Then he would respond hopefully by helping you. If you like this guy, don't listen to the lady advice. I am a man who is not a doormat telling you how my psychology works.
I was raised to always offer food and drink to every visitor, always bring a gift whenever visiting someone's home, and always offer to help your friends and family (and often strangers) whenever possible - even at your inconvenience. To think of others always before yourself. It's a world view and a life philosophy that becomes deeply ingrained.
Something like offering to help, especially in those honeymoon beginning stages of a relationship (when he is supposed to be trying to impress her, anyway), tends to speak volumes more about what kind of philosophy he has towards others in general. That's not really the kind of mate I'd be interested in.
absolutely!!!!!!!
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