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I've been seeing this woman for a few dates now, and we are enjoying each others company and it's going good but the sex has sucked so far. Basically I haven't been able to get aroused by her.
Neither of us live alone, and we don't really have a lot of privacy to have sex without other people hearing. Plus she is really loud so it would be very easy for us to be caught.
But I find that she's somewhat reluctant to have sex any other place than a bedroom. Basically we tried in the car, but she didn't like it cause the car was too cramped. And so we tried it outside at night, where no one was around, but she didn't like it cause it was to cold.
We tried doing it it in a public place, where I had access to the backroom, but it was closed and no one was around, but she was uncomfortable cause she worried about being caught on camera still.
She was wanting to still have sex, but she keeps having inhibitions about the options available to to us, and I can't get aroused, because of her inhibitions. Even though she is still willing to, she has to be talked into it, and still psych herself up to it, and that is causing me to get loose my erections with her, every time we try.
I feel like I need to tell her she has to get rid of her inhibitions, and that she is causing too much anticipation, and that she has to not say any reservations she may have about the options we have available to us.
Cause as soon as she mentions any reservations she, has, my penis feels too pressured, or too anticipated, and I cannot get an erection because of it.
But how should I break this to her, without her, becoming more reserved after hearing that? I feel like I could tell her in a flirty way, but if I do, I don't think she will take it as seriously, and still have reservations and reluctances.
Is there a way to seriously tell her, without giving her more inhibitions, or how should I approach this problem?
you are concluding that's its her "inhibitions" while she may be perceiving a whole different world as in,,,,,im not going to give him the goods too early in this relationship...the last two guys ...took off after I did it
guys are like dogs,,, women are like cats..
don't take much to please a dog and wag our tails.......but cats are sooo indifferent they aren't easy at all you have to gain their trust and let them approach you
a wise man not a boy will set the stage make the lady feel secure and not be so damn obvious almost a trip to the promise land..
one of the worse things you can do is send a message ...the only value or worth she has is sex...
if you backed off totally and be nice.. you might be surprised..
many girls fall for losers early on and get burnt......tough for them to trust..
Why don't you get a hotel room? And Viagra.
And what you you meant with: neihter of us live alone? Where do you live?
Btw: you are blaming that woman,
Quote:
I feel like I need to tell her she has to get rid of her inhibitions, and that she is causing too much anticipation, and that she has to not say any reservations she may have about the options we have available to us.
Hello? are there no Motels where you live, find a Motel and ask for "short stay", it will be 3 or 4 hours for like 30 or 40 bucks,
look for a independent motel not a chain, that's what I did when I lived with mom and dad.
also bring a bottle of wine with you or stop at a bar first to have a few drinks to get a little loose.
If finding a place that is private and secure doesn't do it for her, then you're both out of luck.
Rent a room.
Other than that, you say she IS willing but apprehensive because of the location. Does she keep mentioning it? Have the two of you had sex yet?
I've been seeing this woman for a few dates now, and we are enjoying each others company and it's going good but the sex has sucked so far. Basically I haven't been able to get aroused by her.
Neither of us live alone, and we don't really have a lot of privacy to have sex without other people hearing. Plus she is really loud so it would be very easy for us to be caught.
But I find that she's somewhat reluctant to have sex any other place than a bedroom. Basically we tried in the car, but she didn't like it cause the car was too cramped. And so we tried it outside at night, where no one was around, but she didn't like it cause it was to cold.
We tried doing it it in a public place, where I had access to the backroom, but it was closed and no one was around, but she was uncomfortable cause she worried about being caught on camera still.
She was wanting to still have sex, but she keeps having inhibitions about the options available to to us, and I can't get aroused, because of her inhibitions. Even though she is still willing to, she has to be talked into it, and still psych herself up to it, and that is causing me to get loose my erections with her, every time we try.
I feel like I need to tell her she has to get rid of her inhibitions, and that she is causing too much anticipation, and that she has to not say any reservations she may have about the options we have available to us.
Cause as soon as she mentions any reservations she, has, my penis feels too pressured, or too anticipated, and I cannot get an erection because of it.
But how should I break this to her, without her, becoming more reserved after hearing that? I feel like I could tell her in a flirty way, but if I do, I don't think she will take it as seriously, and still have reservations and reluctances.
Is there a way to seriously tell her, without giving her more inhibitions, or how should I approach this problem?
Go to a hotel, away for a weekend etc to try and sort the privacy issue or why not save time and just put it down to not being compatible in that manner?
How many women are going to be thrilled about having sex in virtually 'public' places ?
Sure doesn't even sound like there's much opportunity for more than quickies. Gee, isn't only that something to look forward to?
I love sex but when I was in my young twenties I had a bf that pressured me to have sex in public places--our situation was similar to the one decribed in the OP but I think he was a bit of an exhibitionist too. I finally got disgusted with the whole thing and moved on b/c getting arrested for public indecency just isn't my thing.
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