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I just graduated from College in May and have been dating my g/f for almost 3 years now. We did a long distance relationship (4hours away) throughout college.
Since I graduated, I moved only an hour away from her for my new job. Now, I'm really tired of the long distance, and even at an hour away, I still feel like its long distance since we only see each other on the weekends.
She is looking at schools near me (she still has two years left) and I am going to have to move into a cheaper apartment in the summer of next year. I am considering asking her to find a place with me, but this is a big step, and I'm just wondering what your thoughts and opinions are on this.
I just graduated from College in May and have been dating my g/f for almost 3 years now. We did a long distance relationship (4hours away) throughout college.
Since I graduated, I moved only an hour away from her for my new job. Now, I'm really tired of the long distance, and even at an hour away, I still feel like its long distance since we only see each other on the weekends.
She is looking at schools near me (she still has two years left) and I am going to have to move into a cheaper apartment in the summer of next year. I am considering asking her to find a place with me, but this is a big step, and I'm just wondering what your thoughts and opinions are on this.
Thanks!
You should NEVER consider moving in w/ your GF out of convenience/ cheaper expenses. You should only consider the moving issue when you're positive that you would like to marry her, but would like to see how she is as a person on a day-to-day basis.
With that being said, first you should decide whether or not you want to marry her or not at some point in the future. Then, you should think about your own habits on a daily basis (house habits), and then figure out which habits that you absolutely must keep (for example, you cannot compromise Monday night football games, etc.), and which habits that you can consider "compromising" with her, because trust me, living w/ her would also mean you have to get used her likes AND dislikes.
Then, you should think about HER habits, which habits that you can put up with, and which habits of hers that you can do without.
Then, you should think about boundaries. Living together would completely diminish your levels of privacy from each other, so it's important that you talk to her and discuss your boundaries, as well as hers.
I am considering asking her to find a place with me, but this is a big step, and I'm just wondering what your thoughts and opinions are on this.
Dont do it. You should get your own place and experience living alone for a few years. She can always come visit you when she wants but you really REALLY should NOT get a place together.
I did the same thing in college, the only advice I could give you is make sure the apartment or house is big enough to give each of you some space, like an extra bed room with an office in it. You guys will probably have different schedules for the next two years and privacy, space , uninterrupted sleep or eating patterns are little things that keep us happy. You have been together longer than some marriages I've known already. but if you move in together your friends and family will have to know you are a "couple" and not just dating.
Danger! Danger! Danger Will Robinson!! Don't do it!!!!!!
This is an understatement.
OP, get your OWN place first. See how you like living on your own and you can have your girlfriend visit whenever she wants. Do not, I repeat DO NOT get a place together. You get your OWN place and let her hang out when she wants. But, when you want alone time, you can just tell her to go home or not show up. As a MAN, you need this time to discover yourself.
If you're considering moving in with her, why not just ask her to marry you? You guys have been together for 3 years, and your relationship survived college and long distance. Have you considered it?
I would approach with caution. You have been together for 3 years but with limited "together" time. Living with someone is VERY different from seeing each other long distance. Just the mere fact you are asking this question on a forum means you have some reservations about it. If you knew 100% for sure it was what you wanted to do, you would have already proceeded.
So, give yourself this time to really think about what you want. Not living together doesn't mean you can't be close and I would rather have a commute than live in misery if I wasn't ready.
Wow, definitely wasn't expecting that! I have my own place now, its just that we're an hour away from each other.
The thing is, because we've been long distance for so long, I want to know if we can handle "the next step." I have to admit, I do like my privacy, but I don't want this relationship to continue as a weekend relationship. I want more and if it will work out, amazing, if not, I want to know now rather than finding out later. Alternatively, I could just encourage her to move into an apt or dorm since the college will be near me and we would be able to see each other much more. I imagine she would probably spend a lot of time at my place also if she were to move. So maybe this is the better medium if I am unsure?
That's my 2 cents.. feel free to chime in.
Curious... what do you guys mean, time to figure myself out?
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