Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Wait...you actually believe that Maury and Jerry Springer etc are 100% real?
Besides that they are also posts on other forums where the poster is hurting and yet still staying with that person. Another one was about a girl's cousin who keeps taking back his cheating wife.
So it's like they want to be treated like crap....
What about my friend's case where many guys would go after her. It was like she was the center of attention. In one day, I think she already had 5 men's numbers. She was outgoing with a b/f but she didn't really care that much and a smoker... I on the other hand, was the quiet, shy one who never smoked or double dated.. Yet all the focus was on her while I was invisible...
First your question is two parts. Stuck with a Husband/ Wife, the answer is simple, no one is stuck , we all need to get back to remembering it is for good and bad, sick and well till death do we part, and that's supposed to mean very very old , once the children are raised with greatgrandchildren and legacy that you can be proud of, because all that you have ever bought will end up in a garage sale/estate sale and all that matters is what you made of your family. So across America people need to really look at the family they have, keep their hands off what is not theirs because that is what ruins their trust in each other and it destroys the way their children think, it makes it hard for the kids to play and learn and grow. So if you are married grow up and stick with each other. The second part about girlfriends and boyfriends, well even with children in the picture, thats different. If you can't get along , get out, don't cheat thats wrong on every leavel you are just looking for the other person to leave first. Most of all if you are asking, it is probably because you want something you know is not yours and if you want a good life it's time to move along and find someone who will treat you like first place not a consolation prize.
First your question is two parts. Stuck with a Husband/ Wife, the answer is simple, no one is stuck , we all need to get back to remembering it is for good and bad, sick and well till death do we part, and that's supposed to mean very very old , once the children are raised with greatgrandchildren and legacy that you can be proud of, because all that you have ever bought will end up in a garage sale/estate sale and all that matters is what you made of your family. So across America people need to really look at the family they have, keep their hands off what is not theirs because that is what ruins their trust in each other and it destroys the way their children think, it makes it hard for the kids to play and learn and grow. So if you are married grow up and stick with each other. The second part about girlfriends and boyfriends, well even with children in the picture, thats different. If you can't get along , get out, don't cheat thats wrong on every leavel you are just looking for the other person to leave first. Most of all if you are asking, it is probably because you want something you know is not yours and if you want a good life it's time to move along and find someone who will treat you like first place not a consolation prize.
So you think that if you're married and your spouse is treating you like crap, having all sorts of flings and being utterly disrespectful, you are OBLIGED TO STAY WITH THAT PERSON?! Oh, please! If you're worried about the children, then what is it teaching them when mummy acts like a tramp, treats daddy with disdain and refuses to change? And when daddy lets it all happen?
Um, I've dated men who were raised poorly by parents who stayed together, even though they shouldn't have. And they were some messed-up dudes. They continue the dysfunctional cycle in which they were raised. No thanks!
But you may have raised a good point regarding the OP -- perhaps women who treat their husbands like crap and walk all over them saw their mothers doing that and think it's perfectly fine. Sorry, but the nice, long-suffering hubbies need to GET OUT and find real love with someone who respects them.
My mum always used to tell me that if you want a great man, be a beetch. For some reason, some of the most wonderful men are attracted to that. I have no idea why it is, but I've found it to be true.
WoW!!!!! Your mom is on to something!! I totally agree!!!!! I mean, I'm good man and I find myself attracted only to headstrong, feisty women.
On the flip side, from what I have seen, bad/good but aggressive men tend to avoid women who stand up for themselves and give them a hard time. Those guys usually wind up with REALLY sweet girls and then go on to use them like a doormat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by teatime
Maybe the gentle, low-key, steady guys inwardly like the drama, high-emotion and excitement? I dunno.
I just can't do that or be that way. And the nice guys are my friends but they chase after the real pieces of work for romantic relationships. What's weird is that the pieces of work aren't all that pretty, usually. I guess they're addicted to the excitement.
Actually I LIKE to please MY woman. I get satisfaction (feel like "the stud") out of knowing I pleased her. Some men like TO BE PLEASED so they search for women who will be compliant but since I'm more of a giver, I'm naturally more inclined to women, who some would consider, "demanding".
Last edited by Morphous01; 11-12-2009 at 10:12 PM..
WoW!!!!! Your mom is on to something!! I totally agree!!!!! I mean, I'm good man and I find myself attracted only to headstrong, feisty women.
On the flip side, from what I have seen, bad guys tend to avoid women who stand up for themselves and give them a hard time. Those guys usually wind up with REALLY sweet girls and then go on to use them like a doormat.
You can be feisty and headstrong without being a beetch, especially of the variety the OP described. LOL, I tend to be rather headstrong myself. And I find that I attract the really needy weaklings or the controlling dudes who see me as a challenge they'd like to tame and turn into a Stepford Wife. Where are the normal, happy-medium guys?!
You can be feisty and headstrong without being a beetch, especially of the variety the OP described. LOL, I tend to be rather headstrong myself. And I find that I attract the really needy weaklings or the controlling dudes who see me as a challenge they'd like to tame and turn into a Stepford Wife. Where are the normal, happy-medium guys?!
The fact is, cheating is a biological normal. We seem to look down on it because its not part of our social ideals, but its a reality.
Men and women both cheat, in equal amounts. Some people just have a harder time dealing with it. I know friends of mine who broke up with their SO when cheated upon, but what they seem to forget is they had already cheated on them a year or two earlier.
i did it.
married for nearly 10 years, on and off.
she had two kids by someone else, although she never admitted it. only found out for definite when the child support claim went in, although i'd always suspected.
she was jealous, posessive, and violent. she also was a serial adulterer.
as for why i stayed, i have no idea. i guess you get into a whole different mindset when you're in that situation, it almost becomes "normal" for you. as strange as it seems, it becomes your comfort zone. (stockholm syndrome is one name for it, there's another i can't remember)
it's something which is also impossible to explain unless you've been there.
also, when i took the vows, i meant them, even if she didn't, i was determined to make it work, even believing the promises of how it would be the last time, and she'd change.
looking back now, i can't believe some of what i put up with, and i can see that i was deluding myself, but, at the time, you can't see that. you become blinkered.
so, still think i'm a retard ?
those are the typical ignorant comments of people who have no idea what they're talking about.
if you don't know what it's like, then please don't judge.
I really haven't seen that happen a lot in my own life. It seems we hear about the "bad news" more than about the "good news" though.
It's like they tell you in customer service. A customer has a GOOD experience, they'll likely tell 1 or 2 people about it. They have a BAD experience, they'll tell 10-14 people (or...everyone they know!). Also, you can't win them over by giving them what they expect, but if they don't get what they expect, it will reflect badly on you.
If everything's going good for someone, they're content--but not ecstatic. If it's not going good, that's when they tell other people. Just look at this forum--how many people are telling us on a daily basis how great their relationship is going? Not too many. While one should be a realist, it doesn't help anything to dwell only on the negative experiences we've had in the past. For some crazy reason, we always hope that "next time", things will be different, and we'll have a positive experience.
OP never say never. Having been in an abusive relationship I can tell you these things arent immediately evident. It is a gradual thing and by the time you see what is going on your sucked in. You have devoted much of your life to your spouse/marriage/family, you have also taken vows to at least try your very best to work out your problems and make your marriage work.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Where are the normal, happy-medium guys?!
