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Im thinking these things (ebooks you purchase online) are marketed to desperate people such as myself. They claim to tell you what to do, say, and act to make a man who is not paying attention (etc.) shape up and you can get the relationship of your dreams etc. If a person had the self control to follow such advice, whatever they're going to say, would it work? ANd what do you all think it takes to get a mans attention again when he is sometimes hot and cold?
The one thing that will get you into a satisfying, loving relationship is to become an independent, self-confident woman (or man). When you do not NEED a relationship in order to be happy with yourself; when you do not NEED a relationship to find joy in life; when you do not NEED a relationship; when you become a capable, competent person who is not lonely while being alone/single; then you will have enough to offer another person and you will find a relationship - or it will find you.
Those self-help books are wonderful IF you are looking to improve a relationship, for what you can BRING to a relationship, for how to GIVE to the other person, selflessly. They are not going to help you specifically win or win back the affections of someone who is not so attracted to you as a person. Looks are irrelevant, beyond the initial attraction. Once a person gets to the know you, even slightly, that's when your personality, your core, becomes most important. What you have to offer a relationship is the bottom line.
Stop focusing on yourself and focus on improving yourself. Sounds like a contradiction? It isn't. Right now you are so focused on meeting your needs that you aren't seeing that he obviously is not interested in bringing anything of himself to the relationship.
Stop focusing on yourself and focus on improving yourself. Sounds like a contradiction? It isn't. Right now you are so focused on meeting your needs that you aren't seeing that he obviously is not interested in bringing anything of himself to the relationship.
I disagree.
You keep focusing on yourself and knowing what you want in life.
Know that there is nothing wrong with you--that's just the way you are.
Sure you can put effort on improving you, but do it because you want to for yourself.
Of course you have to focus on your needs because you are the only person responsible for yourself. Believing that any other person is responsible for those meeting your needs is just an setting yourself up for disappointment.
Why would you give anyone the power to control your happiness?
Im thinking these things (ebooks you purchase online) are marketed to desperate people such as myself. They claim to tell you what to do, say, and act to make a man who is not paying attention (etc.) shape up and you can get the relationship of your dreams etc. If a person had the self control to follow such advice, whatever they're going to say, would it work? ANd what do you all think it takes to get a mans attention again when he is sometimes hot and cold?
Most of these books are crap. Ok, sure, they have some good points, but most of it is common sense. I've read a few of these books - mainly because I didn't have anything better to do, and really, I didn't get anything out of them that I couldn't find elsewhere. Yes, they are marketed to desperate people, and yes, they make billions a year.. but no, they aren't worth it.
Everything that's in those books can now be found online. There are a ton of USEFUL relationship sites out there, and a great many of them go above and beyond to help people out. There are blogs that make even the most difficult to handle situations seem like screwing in a lightbulb, they explain things so well. Personally, I wouldn't waste money on these books.. but, if I get one as a gift, or someone lets me borrow one, I'll read it, but I doubt that it'll tell me anything new and astonishing.
I've read a few of these books - mainly because I didn't have anything better to do, and really, I didn't get anything out of them that I couldn't find elsewhere. Yes, they are marketed to desperate people, and yes, they make billions a year.. but no, they aren't worth it.
statement by "someone who couldn't find a publisher for their book"
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