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Ive not spent a single yr. without a fella and abstinence dosent become me. Ive never had to be obsessed with my appearance to attract a man. But then I believe variety is the spice of life and do not so narrowly limit my options.
I dont believe the OP was whinning about lack of LTR rather that thus far it seems men her age seem more interested in dating women not her age. No amount of making yourself attractive will change that.
What I absolutely avoid is a crazy and unstable attitude that causes "it" to make people do very odd things.
Hi 2mares,
If she had caught me at the right time, I would have. I was easy pickings at 33. I would date a composite Onglet39 personality and Jill61 photo with out a doubt. Singly it would be contingent upon further information and I am 41. I would not merely eliminate them. However that is because they have become familiar and are breaching the commodity barrier. It would depend on their preference for a somewhat assertive Christian Slater(early 30) type(with hair). In college in my 20s, I was his twin. Yes I have a job.
So the idea is to closely match the commodity as much as possible and then add the monopolistic power of the individual.
Know the battlefield, acquire the target. Its the best chance of success.
I guess I'll take my chances then and spend a few years getting to know myself, figuring out what I want in a partner, and working on a career that I put myself through school for. Know examples of women who HAVE gone the traditional route, settling down and having their families early, only to feel like as they grow older that they've sacrificed their youth. Could go either way.
If the traditional route is the way to go (married at 22 with kids), then the stats wouldn't show this group to be at the highest risk for divorce. I can't imagine spending the 20's strapped down, especially early 20's. It should be a time for travel and exploration imo, providing the opportunity. I only have one friend that did this - married at 24/25 with kids; married to an idiot to boot. Now she's divorced, has all the baby weight she didn't lose. He lives with his parents (37 years old) while they have joint custody. She wasted her prime.
I also don't understand why it takes so long to get a career going. What's with the 10-15 years working on a career in leui of anything else?
If the traditional route is the way to go (married at 22 with kids), then the stats wouldn't show this group to be at the highest risk for divorce. I can't imagine spending the 20's strapped down, especially early 20's. It should be a time for travel and exploration imo, providing the opportunity. I only have one friend that did this - married at 24/25 with kids; married to an idiot to boot. Now she's divorced, has all the baby weight she didn't lose. He lives with his parents (37 years old) while they have joint custody. She wasted her prime.
I also don't understand why it takes so long to get a career going. What's with the 10-15 years working on a career in leui of anything else?
Hi Braunwyn,
The reason why those marriages fail are for several reasons. One is of course the length of time while still having attractive options.
The other reasons were indicated. When men and women marry at close to the same age in their 20s men have higher dating market value. Because of the fat epidemic and general apathy it hits women harder due to more emphasis on the physical.
Another reason is I am convinced women are not turned on by what they see as "equals". This is obvious by the complaints from men that they do not have enough sexual frequency. It means she is not turned on by him at an equal rate and he has little power.
That is why somewhat older men often work out well since one has an inherent respect for someone older. Even just 2 or 3 years can make a difference and set a pattern.
Again I remind you this applies to populations as statistical trends.My prof in statistics would always say I cannot tell you what one person will do, but I can tell you what a group will do.
The reason why those marriages fail are for several reasons. One is of course the length of time while still having attractive options.
The other reasons were indicated. When men and women marry at close to the same age in their 20s men have higher dating market value. Because of the fat epidemic and general apathy it hits women harder due to more emphasis on the physical.
Her problems back in the day weren't physical. She was always a big girl, but not fat. She was taller and strong; very blonde and quite beautiful. The story is a bit complex in her case. I left for the summer one year (this was in key west where I spent my winters), came back in the fall and my friend had become an evangelican. Who knows what happened to her during that summer. A year or so later she was in mid-west, met a guy at her church and married with kids soon to follow.
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Another reason is I am convinced women are not turned on by what they see as "equals". This is obvious by the complaints from men that they do not have enough sexual frequency. It means she is not turned on by him at an equal rate and he has little power.
They had an active sex life until the very (how, I don't know-yuk). He wasn't an equal, tho, rather less than imo. She would have stayed if he was decent for the simple fact of survival. But, there was violence in that relationship and he doesn't really work. So, that was that.
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That is why somewhat older men often work out well since one has an inherent respect for someone older. Even just 2 or 3 years can make a difference and set a pattern.
He's 4-5 years older than her IIRC. I think she's mid-30's and he's late 30's. Maybe even 40 by now. All well, what's done is done. It's just sad.
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Again I remind you this applies to populations as statistical trends.My prof in statistics would always say I cannot tell you what one person will do, but I can tell you what a group will do.
True. Given the consequences this particular cohort contends with in the way of divorces stats, it would be behoove them to wait.
If the traditional route is the way to go (married at 22 with kids), then the stats wouldn't show this group to be at the highest risk for divorce. I can't imagine spending the 20's strapped down, especially early 20's. It should be a time for travel and exploration imo, providing the opportunity. I only have one friend that did this - married at 24/25 with kids; married to an idiot to boot. Now she's divorced, has all the baby weight she didn't lose. He lives with his parents (37 years old) while they have joint custody. She wasted her prime.
Times have certainly changed. In pervious generations I dont believe there was much opportunity for many to travel, explore and work on a career, especially for women. Society preached marriage and family and it was that 30 was pushing it for children. I think the trend has been a me generation and young people put themselves before marriage and family (not a bad thing). The older people I know and know of were married by their early 20's and most are still married or widowed. Of my generation, most have been divorced at least onece. I guess it is yet to be seen how the new generation's later in life marriages work out.
You have to understand, op, that men in their late 30's early 40's require younger flesh. It's part of the chemicals the are going on in the male brain and body at that time. You will not find a heterosexual male in that age who will want you. It's not anything against you understand, but men require younger women when they reach 40ish. 40ish males will want late teens to early twenties.
You have to understand, op, that men in their late 30's early 40's require younger flesh. It's part of the chemicals the are going on in the male brain and body at that time. You will not find a heterosexual male in that age who will want you. It's not anything against you understand, but men require younger women when they reach 40ish. 40ish males will want late teens to early twenties.
I dont understand this statement. One of my best friends is 38 and he definately doesn't want one that young.. way too much drama
I dont understand this statement. One of my best friends is 38 and he definately doesn't want one that young.. way too much drama
Hi missymomof3,
Not if they are "players". That is their target. 18-25. They are dumber, cheaper, and in better physical condition. An LTR guy is a different story and sounds like your friend.
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